263 – Hutch Matteson of Cummings, GA A Career Pastor, Father Of Four & Founder of The Pier Foundation For People Disabilities

Transcript:

Tom Couch: Special thanks to Horizon Therapeutics for sponsoring the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast, working tirelessly to research, develop, and bring forward medicines for people living with rare and rheumatic diseases. Discover more about Horizon Therapeutics’ mission at HorizonTherapeutics.com.

Hutch Matteson: One of the greatest joys that Cindy and I have these days is when we hear about somebody who got a diagnosis or like we were, we didn’t have a diagnosis ahead of time, we found out after he was born that he had Down syndrome. We wanna just be able to go and put our arms around that couple and say, it’s gonna be okay. Here’s Josh. He’s not a perfect kid, but man, he sure is a wonderful blessing.

Tom Couch: That’s our guest this week, Hutch Matteson, a pastor, founder of The PIER Center, opening doors for adults with intellectual disabilities, and he’s the father of four, including Josh 33, who has Down syndrome. We’ll hear Hutch’s story and more on this Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast. Now here’s the founder of the Special Fathers Network, and the host of the Dad to Dad Podcast, David Hirsch.

David Hirsch: Hi, and thanks for listening to the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast, presented by the Special Fathers Network, a dad to dad mentoring program for fathers raising children with special needs. Thank you to those who supported the 21st Century Dads Dads Honor Ride 2023 campaign, which was a 3000+ mile bicycle race from Oceanside, California to Annapolis, Maryland. I was one of the four racers and it took us seven days, 19 hours, and 10 minutes to go from coast to coast. Special thanks to the following donors for contributing $1,000 or more. In alphabetical order they are: Ina Burd, Kim Duchossois, Jim Duran, Chaz Ebert, John Guido, Horizon Therapeutics, Scott Marcotte, Damien Navarro, Dick Reck, Barbara & Glenn Reed, Rotary Club of Chicago, Don Stadler, Nick Topicha-Dolny, and UBS Financial Services. If you have not yet contributed, please do so by visiting 21stCenturyDads.org. Your tax-deductible contribution will help keep our programs free to all concerned. I would really appreciate your support.

Tom Couch: The Special Fathers Network is a dad to dad mentoring program for fathers raising children with special needs. To find out more, go to 21stCenturyDads.org. So now let’s hear this intriguing conversation between Hutch Matteson and David Hirsch.

David Hirsch: I’m thrilled to be talking today with Hutch Matteson of Cumming, Georgia who was for 37 years a pastor, is founder of The PIER Foundation, and father of four including a son with Down syndrome. Hutch, thank you for taking the time to do a podcast interview for the Special Fathers Network.

Hutch Matteson: Thanks, David. Appreciate the invite and I’m glad to be here.

David Hirsch: You and your wife, Cindy, have been married for 37 years and are the proud parents of four children: Julia 26, Jenna 28, Jonathan 30, and Josh 33 who has Down syndrome. You’re also a grandparent! I understand that you have a grandchild as well.

Hutch Matteson: One, yeah. And we celebrate tomorrow the one year birthday. So we’re very excited.

David Hirsch: Very exciting. Congratulations. Let’s start with some background. Where did you grow up? Tell me something about your family.

Hutch Matteson: Well David, I grew up as well as my wife – interestingly enough, we were good friends for a long time before we were romantically involved – but we both grew up in southern Maryland on the peninsula between the Chesapeake Bay and the Patuxent River. If you would go to the White House at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, headed south on Pennsylvania Avenue about 35, 40 miles is where I was born and raised. And I finished college, lived there, and then moved out and haven’t looked back.

David Hirsch: And did I remember that you’re the youngest of five?

Hutch Matteson: Yes. My parents waited and saved the best for last.

David Hirsch: [laughing]

Hutch Matteson: At least that’s what I tell my siblings. I don’t think they agree, but that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

David Hirsch: Okay. So out of curiosity, what did your dad do for a living?

Hutch Matteson: My dad was a custom home builder many years ago. It’s not like custom homes built today. And so it was a struggle with five kids, as you can imagine. If you had more than… well any kids at all, it gets expensive, you know? Our kids asked us, when do you know it’s right to have kids, will you ever have enough? You never have enough. And so kids are expensive and teenagers are even more expensive, and then you got weddings to pay for.

Many years after I was born, he ended up becoming a teacher of vocational school, teaching carpentry. And he really did that for the retirement aspect for his family, for my mom especially. He did pass away in 2009 and left my mom in fairly good position to be taken care of. She passed away in 2017. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, so we have some experience with that as well as her mom had Alzheimer’s. And so one of the greatest things my mom and dad did for me, David, was the example of taking my mom’s mom into their home. And my mom was a nurse, so she took care of my grandmother in her last few years of life and I just appreciate so much the example that they set for us, especially in that way.

David Hirsch: Yeah. Thanks for sharing. It sounds like your dad went from doing something to teaching what he knew. And your mom, I think you said was a nurse.

Hutch Matteson: Yes.

David Hirsch: And she was a great role model by taking in your grandmother, her mom in her later years. And you don’t see as much of that today as maybe in a generation or generations past. So what a great role model they were for you.

Hutch Matteson: Yeah, we actually took my mom in for the last three years of her life as well. Diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, did the best we could to make her last few years the best they could be. She loved being around Josh who is of course our special needs son with Down syndrome. He had always had a very special place in both my mom and dad’s heart, as well as my wife’s mom and dad, as you can imagine.

David Hirsch: Yeah. Thanks for sharing. So I’m curious to know, how would you describe your relationship with your dad?

Hutch Matteson: I was blessed to have a great relationship with my dad, David. From the earliest days I would go out with him on the job and I can remember sweeping up, picking up nails, small pieces of board, building my own thing off to the side. So really as a little kid way back when it was probably not OSHA certified, [David laughing] I was at a job site without a hard hat on, working around. He taught me how to operate a backhoe and man, I just thought I was something else. Taught me how to drive, taught me how to operate heavy equipment.

David, one of the interesting things about my dad was I never heard a foul word come out of my dad’s mouth. I was around him plenty of times when he missed the metal nail and hit his fingernail. And the worst thing I ever heard my dad say was my, my my. [David laughing] But he set a great example of what it was to be a man of God and to be a… He wasn’t a perfect father by any means. I learned a lot of things that I didn’t wanna be from my dad, but I learned more things that I really wanted to emulate because of my relationship with him.

David Hirsch: Yeah. Thanks for sharing. Is there anything that sticks in mind? Something that you said, that’s something that I learned from my dad and I wanted to pass along to my kids as well?

Hutch Matteson: I can still remember very clearly as a young man standing beside him on our forward backhoe and he was explaining to me all of the levers and what they did. And then he said, here, sit down here. And I sat in that seat and he stood beside that tractor and he taught me that day how to use that piece of equipment as a kid. But what he said to me is when I didn’t think I could do it – because it was a lot to remember – he said, son, whatever you put your mind to, you can do. And so many dads today don’t instill in their kids that belief in them that they can do what they set out to do. But he made me feel like a million dollars just to say, hey, listen, you can do whatever you wanna do, be whoever you wanna be. For that I am forever grateful.

David Hirsch: Yeah. What a great lesson. Thank you for sharing. So I’m thinking about your grandfathers and I’m wondering what if any role your dad’s dad and then your mom’s dad played in your life.

Hutch Matteson: It’s kind of unique. My mom’s father passed away before I was born, and I am his namesake. So my first and middle name – which I can’t tell you, or else I would have to kill you – [both laughing] are named after my mom’s dad who passed away. So I carry his namesake with me. And then my dad’s dad was a manly man as well. I loved hanging out with my grandfather. He smoked a pipe and I can still to this day, although he passed away in 1977, I can still smell the smell of his pipe when I stop to think about it. Or if I’m walking past a shop somewhere and I smell that smell. I said that’s my granddad’s smell. That and the fact that he loved watching professional wrestling. [both laughing] I learned early on how to watch professional wrestling because of my grandfather. So my mom’s dad I never knew but I saw his heritage passed down through his kids. And my dad’s dad I got to spend some good time with him before he passed away. I was 12 or 13 when he died.

There was two youth pastors that really invested in me. A guy named Mike and a guy named Gary. And both of those guys saw something in me that I didn’t see in me as a teenager and they really worked hard at making me believe in me and pouring into me so that I’d have something to be able to give out to others. So I’m eternally grateful for both of those guys. Their impact has been undeniable.

David Hirsch: Yeah. Thanks for sharing. Is there anybody else?

Hutch Matteson: My father-in-law knew no strangers. He would talk to a tree or a homeless bum on the street or the president of the United States, and he treated ’em all the same. And so he really instilled in me a passion to be more open. I remember early on in our marital relationship, he called me aside and gave me a $50 bill, David, and he said, here, put this in your wallet, but never use it. Unless you’re in an emergency, you gotta have it. I’m so very thankful for that because nobody had ever done that up to that point. And he said, you’re gonna need this someday. And I have never forgotten that. So again, we have a great heritage of men for my kids and grandkids to know about.

David Hirsch: Yeah. Thanks for sharing. It’s obvious to me that you’ve had a lot of very positive influences in your life. So my recollection was you went to Liberty University, took a bachelor’s degree, and I’m wondering where did your career take you from there?

Hutch Matteson: It’s interesting. I graduated on a Monday. Cindy and I got married that Friday. And about two and a half weeks later we started at our first church. I was a youth pastor at a church in Clearwater, Florida. The next church that we served at was in Virginia Beach, Virginia. And so we thought we had this beach life going on. It didn’t last long after that because the next church I served at was in the Atlanta, Georgia area, which we are back at now, and have been here the second time for 20 years. So we’ve been up and down the East coast in ministry opportunities and have been blessed to be a part of some really good churches through the years.

David Hirsch: That was over a very long period of time, the better part of three decades. And I’m wondering when you look back on your pastoring experience, is there a highlight [Hutch chuckles], one experience perhaps that comes to mind that you could say was something more extraordinary or different, positive or negative for that matter?

Hutch Matteson: Yeah, you know, to be honest with you, we don’t have enough time to talk about all the extrordinary events. But I was a part of one of the first, one of the earliest school shootings in the United States. It happened in Virginia Beach in December of 1988. I was just 24 years old and teaching a bible class of high school students when a young man who was in my class was not there that day when I took roll. I actually saw this young man shoot our assistant principal, which was actually the second time that he shot him. He came into our classroom. I called him by name, started to talk him down. He did not listen. He walked up to the teenagers. We had about 30 10th, 11th and 12th graders in a trailer, a modular unit. And he walked up and he called out one by name. He said, this is for you. I’m gonna kill you. He pulled the trigger and the gun jammed. He took two steps back and I went after him. And he took a shot – I was about 3 to 4 feet away from him – at me. And it missed. I thought it went past my left ear. It went between the two of us. I ended up tackling him, getting him down on the floor until the police came to arrest him. And that day he shot and killed a math teacher, sweetest lady you’d ever want to meet. He shot our assistant principal. And he ended up getting off 14 rounds of ammunition. He brought 96 rounds of ammunition, three Molotov cocktails, and a pipe bomb to school that day. And God graciously preserved our lives and the lives of all the students in that classroom and regrettably, one dear teacher did lose her life that day. So that was a pretty extraordinary day, experience wise.

There was another time I got knifed on the church campus. It was attempted robbery. I think they thought I had the offering. Ended up getting cut on my face with a knife by a teenager. All kinds of stuff. Probably the day that sticks out the most is that day in December, 1988, the school shooting.

David Hirsch: Holy moly. Well, at age 24, that was almost like a baptism-by-fire type experience.

Hutch Matteson: Yeah. Yeah.

David Hirsch: Wow.

Hutch Matteson: It really was.

David Hirsch: It seems surreal just listening to you recount that story. And very sad that this woman, the math teacher, lost her life as a result of that tragedy. But based on all the things you read about, hear about these days with similar incidences…

Hutch Matteson: Yeah.

David Hirsch: …maybe not as horrific as it would’ve been based on how things transpired and the action that you took. So, huh! Thank you for sharing. You took my breath away there.

Hutch Matteson: I’m a firm believer that God doesn’t waste any experiences. And I have had the opportunity to minister to and just be a part of the lives of some of the students that were at Columbine and the Paducah, Kentucky shooting. Had I not been through that, that door of ministry opportunity would never have been opened. And I think the same thing with having a child with a disability is it allows us to have a unique perspective on life, but also to be able to minister to a segment, a pretty large segment of our community nowadays especially, with children with disabilities. To just kind of know a little bit about what their world is and hopefully share some hope with them.

David Hirsch: Yeah. Let’s use that as a segue to talk about special needs first on a personal level and then beyond. So I’m curious to know, before Josh’s diagnosis, did you or Cindy have any connections to the world of special needs?

Hutch Matteson: Very, very limited. I had a neighbor that moved in when I was a little kid next door that had cerebral palsey. It’s the first time we’ve ever experienced seeing a child, a teenager if you will, in a wheelchair. And that’s where he lived his life. We weren’t tremendously close, but I did see that for the first time. To be honest with you, I hate to say it, but in the small country town where we grew up, we made fun of people who had special needs. And they were the brunt of jokes. I hate every second of that and I don’t tolerate that now. But I was guilty of it as well as my friends growing up. And so we didn’t have a whole lot of experience. And when the diagnosis of Josh’s Down syndrome came down, we were flabbergasted. It wasn’t something that ran in our family, we didn’t have experience with it. So we were blindsided, but man, we dove right in. And we knew that he was a gift from God and we were gonna do our very best to be the best mom, best dad for him we could possibly be.

David Hirsch: Yeah. Thanks for sharing. I think that, because we’re about the same age, it was probably more common that people would, if not bully, at least tease people with special needs. And you would make jokes, as innocent as that might have seemed, about the short bus or something like that.

Hutch Matteson: Yeah. Yeah.

David Hirsch: Kids riding the short bus. And in episode #3 of the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast with a very close friend, longtime friend – Skip Gianopulos is his name – and he has four daughters. Two of the girls have Down syndrome. One of them also has autism.

Hutch Matteson: Wow.

David Hirsch: And he was reflecting in his interview. He said now that they had their first daughter with Down syndrome, reflecting on a conversation he was having with his brother. And he goes, I guess we’re not gonna be telling any “short bus” jokes anymore.

Hutch Matteson: Yes.

David Hirsch: So here’s the dad, new dad of a child with Down syndrome, reflecting on his own experience, right? It was very commonplace that we if did not participate, we heard those comments growing up. And I think the world is a much better place today as a result of the enlightenment, the level of acceptance and inclusion that we are being held to. I think we’re just all better people for that, so thank you for sharing.

Hutch Matteson: Well you know, David, Josh was born in 1990 and not too long before that, the mentality was let’s institutionalize anybody that’s different. And that advice was given to us briefly and not a lot. But those earlier generations… We today work with some folks that have special needs that are in their fifties and sixties. And I am amazed that their parents in those days said, no, we’re gonna keep him at home. We’re gonna keep her at home. And man, they’re heroes.

David Hirsch: Oh yeah. I’m just gonna use this as an opportunity to brag on Dick Hoyt whose son Rick just passed away recently.

Hutch Matteson: So sad to hear that.

David Hirsch: Rick was 61 when he passed away in May of 2023 here and the dad passed away a couple years ago March.

Hutch Matteson: Yeah.

David Hirsch: And that was the story Dick told was 61, 62 years ago when Rick was born, that was standard advice from the medical community, you know?

Hutch Matteson: Yes.

David Hirsch: Institutionalize the child, have more children. It’s the best thing for that person, it’s the best thing for your marriage mentality. And you don’t want to be judgmental about what society used to be like, but you can reflect on the changes and the advancements that we’ve made. And we’re very fortunate to be living in the day and age that we do. Not that there aren’t opportunities for improvement. But when you travel internationally, you realize that many of these countries are like the US was 30, 40, 50 years ago, right?

Hutch Matteson: Yeah.

David Hirsch: The opportunities for people with disability are very limited. And I’m optimistic that as the years and maybe decades go by, that the rest of the world will somehow catch up or experience that level of advancement as well. So thanks again for sharing.

Hutch Matteson: Good. Thank you.

David Hirsch: Josh is born. He is diagnosed with Down syndrome, you mentioned you’re devastated. Can you put yourself back in those shoes 30+ years ago? What was it that you and Cindy were fearful of?

Hutch Matteson: Well, it’s really the basis of all fear, it’s the unknown. We didn’t know anything about Down syndrome. I had to go and we didn’t have Google or the internet to go look. I had to go to the library and figure out, what is this Down syndrome? We had a… Man, I wish I could think of the name of the doctor. I keep getting a metal block because it was such a terrible experience, David. But he came in and just told us all the things that our son was never, ever gonna do. He’s probably not gonna do this. He won’t do that. He may not walk and, you may… And he painted the worst case scenario that we thought, goodness gracious!

But we knew Josh was a gift from God to us. And we didn’t know what tomorrow would hold for us, but we knew that at this point in time in our life… And he was our first child. We were, to be honest with you David, we were the couple that did all the right things right, and we didn’t do the wrong things. And so it’s a gut punch. It wasn’t like we were drug addicts and prostitution and we did all the bad things and we’re getting our just due. We tried to do all the good things and make the world a better place. That showed my limited way of thinking about the world at the time. But to be honest with you, my approach was I want to learn everything I can about this, and my wife’s approach was I’m just gonna love him unconditionally and we’re gonna do the best we can to raise him just like we’d raise any other of our children, which we didn’t have any at that time. So we were learning on the job. It’s interesting, when you have a baby, it doesn’t come out with an owner’s manual. It doesn’t come out with a here’s how to do this. You gotta learn everything from touch this, don’t touch that, wipe this and change that and feed this, and, oh oh, don’t feed him that! But it’s the fear of the unknown.

He had a heart problem which is very common with Down syndrome. He had a hole in his upper chamber, in his lower chamber and a bad valve. And the cardiologist at the time said, listen, you just love him. Treat him like you would… Have as many other kids as you want. And man, I gotta tell you, David, that really caused us to say this guy, he probably knows what he’s talking about. It’s gonna be OK. That really helped us a lot. He ended up having to have open heart surgery at two and a half. Got that repaired. They told us that it was gonna make a big difference. We didn’t believe them. And then they had the surgery and we believed, because it did make a big difference in his activity level and how he ate and all of those things.

But our world was rocked. And so one of the greatest joys that Cindy and I have these days is when we hear about somebody who got a diagnosis or like we were, we didn’t have a diagnosis ahead of time, we found out after he was born that he had Down syndrome. We wanna just be able to go and put our arms around that couple and say, it’s gonna be okay. Here’s Josh. He’s not a perfect kid, but man, he sure is a wonderful blessing. And we get to tell them about all the blessings that we’ve been able to get because of having Josh in our lives, in our family, the blessing that its been to be around his brother and sisters. It’s forever changed them and made them better people.

David Hirsch: Yeah. Thanks for sharing. And not to focus on the negative, but what have been some of the bigger challenges that you and Cindy have faced?

Hutch Matteson: Again the surgery thing was ginormous for us because, when we left Virginia before we moved to Georgia, we thought that God had healed and we thought that he was a-ok. And then we got here and we’re here for a few months, and we go to the cardiologist because that’s what you do when you’re born with a heart defect. And he said, hey, you need to have surgery. You need to have it soon. Fortunately for us, our church had a guest evangelist in. His name was Jay Strack. And Jay’s daughter, who’s probably 10 to 15 years older than Josh, had been through similar surgery. And so he could say, hey, listen, here’s my experience. This is what happened. Here’s what you can expect. And man, that was very reassuring. We had another couple in our church that their daughter was born with half a heart and in this same hospital where Josh is gonna have his surgery with the same surgeon, they rewired her heart to be able to experience a full life. They knew how to come to the hospital and just sit with us and not have to talk surgery and talk heart and talk all of those things. And we learned a lot that the best thing to do is go visit, talk about something else, bring some pizza and some candy bars with you, and just be parents together. Yeah that certainly was something that rocked our world and has shaped our world since it was rocked.

David Hirsch: Yeah. Thanks for sharing the importance of coming alongside somebody in the moment of crisis or when they’re being challenged by an overwhelming situation is just being present. I think that’s what I heard you say.

Hutch Matteson: Yeah. As a pastor, I’ve had a lot of opportunities to walk into rooms of cancer patients and people who are literally on their deathbed and I’m praying when I go in. I’m like, Lord, I don’t know what to say. And I never ever wanted to go into one of those rooms, but I always was glad when I left.

Sometimes you just sit there, just being there. You don’t have to have magical words. People aren’t expecting you to say a Bible verse and a couple of platitudes and it’s gonna be all better. They know that when you walk outta the room, they still got cancer. They’re still in the latter stages of life. But it’s good just to know that there’s some physical contact. Somebody to hold their hand. Somebody to give ’em a hug, kiss on the cheek. Just sitting in the room sometimes reading a book while they’re there means so much when you’re going through so much. Presence I don’t think can ever be overrated when somebody’s going through a difficult time no matter what that difficult time is.

Tom Couch: We’ll be back with more of the conversation on the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast in just a few moments. But first, this quick message. Please help 21st Century Dads gather research on families raising children with special needs by having them complete the Special Fathers Network Early Intervention Parents Survey. A link to the survey can be found in the show notes. As a token of our appreciation, each person, mom or dad, who completes the survey, will receive a Great Dad Coin. Thank you. Now back to the conversation.

David Hirsch: I am curious to know what supporting organizations come to mind that your family has relied on or Josh has received some benefit from?

Hutch Matteson: Well, it’s always early intervention. We moved to Georgia when he was about two, and they had a great program here in the area. And so when Josh was two years old, my wife, we had just had our second son, Jonathan, and she had to put him on a bus in a car seat at two years old to go to early intervention. She put Jonathan in the car seat and followed that bus to that school, crying the whole way. Here’s your little baby, your little special needs baby. Goodness. My mom used to always refer to Josh as he was like a fresh loaf of bread and so here’s our fresh loaf of bread. And that early intervention was absolutely essential to help prepare us as well as prepare him.

Special Olympics has always played a major role in Josh’s life. I’ve had the opportunity to coach some teams in Special Olympics, and so our involvement in that community has been key. Miracle League softball and being able to get out on the field of competition and be able to interact with typical people has always been a plus. And it really kind of led us to our starting our nonprofit ministry called The PIER Foundation.

David Hirsch: Before you jump off and talk about that I think you made reference in our previous conversation to the variety of church experiences that you had early on and it being different in Maryland versus Georgia. Maybe you can shed some light on that as well.

Hutch Matteson: Josh was born in Virginia and the church was okay with him. The pastor at the time was a long-time friend of ours, but he really had a hard time handling how could this young couple in ministry trying to do the right thing, how could they have a child with a disability? The receptivity to Josh on some people’s part was fantastic, but overall it was not near as good of an experience as we would’ve liked to have had.

Contrast that when we moved to Georgia and the church that we got to serve there, it just was open arms. And to be honest with you, David, still to this day, just a few weeks ago, we got to go over there. Cindy took Josh back to that very same church and now they have a thriving special needs ministry. And the people had a heart for it. They had people with Down syndrome singing in the choir and taking up the offering, and they weren’t hidden in a basement room somewhere. They were out on the TV screens. They were looked at as special. And so that was a good experience and that’s always what we have been looking for.

I think children with special needs have a detector, a built-in detector, when somebody is quote unquote, for lack of better terms, a good person, a safe person. Some people, they come to a special needs child and they talk louder. He can hear just as good as anybody. He’s not deaf. They talk slower, like that’s gonna help. They just wanna be treated as normal as possible. And so we wanted to always have Josh in an environment where people were comfortable with him. And if they weren’t comfortable with him, we saw it as our mission to… Hey, he’s okay. You can touch him. He’s okay. If he falls down, he may cry, but he’s gonna get back up. He’s a tough little kid and he’s got a lot to teach us. All of us.

David Hirsch: Yeah. You’re reminding me of another conversation I’ve had, not just one but many times where in your situation you have four children. Josh is the oldest, there’s three younger siblings. And as your kids are starting to date, maybe take an interest in the opposite sex, the special needs sibling is almost like a litmus test…

Hutch Matteson: Yes. Yeah.

David Hirsch: …for that boyfriend or that girlfriend.

Hutch Matteson: Yeah.

David Hirsch: Is that something that they’re comfortable with or accepting of or not? Because this is who your family is, right? This is who my sibling is.

Hutch Matteson: Yep.

David Hirsch: And I’m wondering if you experienced any of that along the way.

Hutch Matteson: Oh, sure. Yeah. Our prayer has always been that whoever our children would marry would very much be embracive of Josh. I’m always gonna be Josh’s dad. His brother’s always gonna be his brother and his sisters are always gonna be his sisters. And so that, yeah, it was a litmus test and if he didn’t want ’em, we didn’t want ’em. [David laughing] We didn’t tell that to our kids, but we prayed a little harder, if you know what I’m saying, that would let that one kind of slide away.

David Hirsch: Yeah. I love your authenticity. Thank you.

Hutch Matteson: Sure.

David Hirsch: So let’s talk about The PIER Foundation. My recollection was that is something that you’d started in 2011, and I’m wondering what was the vision and what’s transpired?

Hutch Matteson: It started off, we wanted to create a Bible study class for adults with disabilities. Josh had always gone to youth group with his siblings, and now the last sibling was through the youth group years. And we wanted to do something more to reach and impact that world. And so we started it. We just seemed like we were butting our head up against the wall. It wasn’t taking off like we envisioned that it would.

And one of the parents just shared with Cindy one day. She goes, you know, most families that have a child with a disability that want to go to church are already going to church. Or they’ve tried church and have felt rejected or it’s too difficult, medical issues or whatever is keeping her from it. So what we really need is help Monday through Friday. And it was like a light bulb went off in Cindy’s mind, and she really began to think through that process and pray through that process and talk to others about it. And that’s really where the vision of The PIER Foundation started.

Our hope was that I could continue to pastor and that she would start it and I would just help her a little bit. But once we got further into it, David, we realized it was gonna take all of the strengths and experiences that I had, as well as all the strengths and experiences that she had. We’re total opposites, as oftentimes couples are. But we compliment each other very well because of the opposites. And so we said we’re gonna step aside from full-time vocational ministry and we’re gonna step out in faith and start this nonprofit.

We started that in 2011. We started with seed money of about $7,000 that our church took up to send us off. And so we have over the years been privileged to work with well over a hundred adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities, and we’ve always worked real hard to try to empower and employ and serve people with disabilities as well as their families.

In recent years, actually just this year, we started an online community on Facebook for parents and caregivers of adults with Down syndrome and we’ve got 122 members in just a short period of time. But we’re looking to get together at the National Down Syndrome Congress a little bit later this year. It’s actually gonna be in July and meet face-to-face. But it’s a place to do community. A lot of times when you have somebody in your family with a disability, you feel all alone. It’s like nobody understands what we have to go through to go to the grocery store, or to go on a date with your spouse, or to go to church, or to clean your house, or maintain two jobs or whatever it is. And you think to yourself, but man, there’s so many people who have it even worse than we do. And so we wanted to create a community both through The PIER Foundation, we call it The PIER Center For Life Enrichment now. That’s how we do business, as The PIER Center For Life Enrichment. And we’ve always ministered, our goal has been to minister to the whole family. Not just to that adult with a disability, but also to that mom, to that dad, and to those siblings. And that’s really where we have a sense of calling. So the online community was a natural extension of that as well.

David Hirsch: Yeah. Thanks for sharing and from your lips to God’s ears, I’m hoping that you’ll continue to impact hundreds and hundreds of individuals and their families with developmental and intellectual disabilities.

Hutch Matteson: Appreciate that. Yes, sir.

David Hirsch: Something that caught my eye, and I think it happened during COVID, was the creation of these Ellie Mae Sweet Treats. What’s the backstory and what’s that all about?

Hutch Matteson: When COVID hit and rocked our world, like it rocked everybody’s world, we were thinking to ourselves, what are we gonna do? And we met online, which is a bit of a challenge for adults with disabilities to keep them engaged. And my wife stumbled across this idea of, let’s make and sell dog treats. And she found a recipe from another nonprofit in Georgia here that shared it with us very graciously. And so after a little while of meeting online, we started meeting back together and we needed something to do. Because one of our goals, David, has always been to have our people out in public a lot. So we go to a lot of restaurants, stores, things like that. A secondary part of our vision is we want to change the way the world sees adults with disabilities. You see anybody with a disability is not someone to be stared at or to be afraid of, but to be embraced and loved.

And Ellie Mae Sweet Treats…. We had a little contest. What are we gonna name ’em? And somebody wanted to call ’em Cindy Sweet Treats. [David laughing] We have a little shih tzu named Ellie Mae. And so Cindy said, why don’t we call ’em Ellie Mae Sweet Treats? And so our guys and our gals do absolutely everything from shopping for the raw materials, to making the dough, to rolling it out, to cutting it, to putting it in the oven, to packaging it. We have little stickers that says this was made with love by adults with disabilities from The PIER Center For Life Enrichment. We get to sell ’em at farmer’s markets and church bazaars, and we love doing that because that really gets our people face to face with the general population. And that’s again, a big part. Some of our guys and girls are more verbal than others. We’ve got one 52 year old. He’ll hug anybody and loves to hug people. And we’ve got some that don’t wanna talk at all. But they learn how to take cash and to make change. They learn how to talk to people. They learn how to work together as a team to set up and to tear down. They’ll go out through the crowd and pass out cards or free samples. Almost all of our people love pets, and so that’s a natural for us. And so we’re looking to diversify into some other things, but we do make some Ellie Mae Sweet Treats. Oh, by the way, EllieMaeSweetTreats.com is where you can order those at. We’d love to send some to anybody who is willing to give us a shot. They’re delicious. A lot of peanut butter. Most dogs really love them and enjoy ’em. And Ellie Mae is the quality control officer. So we give her a little bit of each batch and if she eats it and it goes well, that batch goes out.

David Hirsch: Okay I’m gonna take your word for it, that when you said that they’re delicious, that you have not taste tested them.

Hutch Matteson: No, but can I tell you a story real quick? It’s Thanksgiving, right? We had all of our family in. Cindy’s mom’s here. She’s getting a little bit up and hopefully she won’t listen to this podcast. But she’s got some dementia. And later on in the day, we’re all watching football sitting in the living room, and she sneaks into the kitchen and she grabs one of the treats. Well, we had a huge order so we had the whole family help us catch up a little bit with Josh included. And she goes over and she grabs one of ’em and she bites into it and she comes over and whispers in Cindy’s ears. Cindy, I hate to tell you this, but these treats, these cookies, they don’t taste very good. She goes, mom! Those are dog treats, not cookies! And we just had the biggest laugh over that. You can eat them, but they’re probably not as good to you and me as they would be to our favorite canine friends.

David Hirsch: Oh, thanks for sharing. That’s a good one.

Hutch Matteson: Yeah.

David Hirsch: What is “One Thing for Men?”

Hutch Matteson: Wow! “One Thing for Men” is a businessman’s bible study that meets here in Alpharetta, Georgia. And when I stepped aside from local church work and we started The PIER, I started attending this Bible study. The executive director, a guy named Ron Dunn, invited me to share my story. And so I shared my story. I do that based on a passage of scripture out of James chapter one. And in it I tell the story of the shooting, which is always an attention getter and some other stories, and it’s our life story from that passage of scripture. And they just kept inviting me back. And so pretty soon I became a part of the teaching team. We have a YouTube channel. God has allowed us to take His word literally around the world to the Philippines, Japan, the UK. It’s neat to see how a group of men meeting together in a restaurant in Alpharetta can have an impact around the globe. And to be honest with you, those guys have really supported us at The PIER Center For Life Enrichment in a big way. And so just dear friends.

And I think, especially, I think men need to be around men and women should be around women. There’s just some things that as men, you need to have some conversations sometime about some struggles that we don’t wanna tell our wives about. We don’t wanna tell our girlfriends about. We don’t tell our parents about as adults. And so to have a group of men that you sit around a table and do life together with, that you can open up for and you can talk and they can call you out when they know you’re lying. And they can cry with you and pray with you and for you, and encourage you and cheer you on when things are going good, is absolutely essential. And so I hope that every man that’s listening to this podcast would have that at a church, in a neighborhood, at a steak restaurant somewhere. Don’t go it alone, guys. It’s a rough world. We’re better together than we are alone.

David Hirsch: Yeah. Thanks for emphasizing that. So I’m thinking about advice now, and I’m wondering what advice you can share with parents, specifically dads who are raising a child with a special need.

Hutch Matteson: Don’t give up. Stay the course. Love that son. Love that daughter. Love that grandson. Love that granddaughter like nobody’s business. You hug them every chance that you get. You speak positive words of encouragement and affirmation into their life. This world’s a tough place for typical people like us, but when you walk with a limp, you roll in a wheelchair, you can’t speak as clearly maybe as somebody else, it’s a lot harder on them. They really need somebody in their corner. They need to know that dad is there no matter what.

Unfortunately, David, I don’t know the exact statistics, but unfortunately a lot of marriages dissolve when a child with a disability is born into them. And that’s a tragedy to be quite honest with you. And so I just really wanna encourage dads, be men, stand up. I would also say this, if you are married, the most important relationship that you have, apart from your relationship with God, is your relationship with your spouse. Make sure you maintain that. Keep the fires burning. Have a date night, talk together, pray together. Make decisions together. Be as one. It makes the day-to-day journey a lot sweeter and a lot easier. Because it’s not easy to begin with, but it makes it a little bit easier when you’re doing it together with somebody you love.

David Hirsch: Words of wisdom. Thank you again for sharing. So I’m curious to know why is it you’ve agreed to be a Special Fathers Network mentor father?

Hutch Matteson: I think, again, God doesn’t waste any experiences, to be quite honest with you. So if I could speak into the life of a younger man who’s maybe a few years behind where I am ’cause I need that, my son’s 33. I need some guys that I can go to to ask what’s it gonna be like when he’s 45 and 50? People with disabilities age a little older. I’m not sure if it’s typical for all disabilities. It is for Down syndrome. So my son’s gonna be aging more rapidly as he gets older. So if I can help somebody else with the experiences wherewith I have experienced, I would consider it an honor to help the next generation. Everybody needs cheerleaders. I need them. You need them. And if I could be there for somebody else I’m sure that it would be a benefit and a blessing to them.

David Hirsch: We’re thrilled to have you. Thank you for being part of the network. Is there anything else you’d like to say before we wrap up?

Hutch Matteson: I just wanna thank you for what you’re doing, man. This cross country race is huge. And I’m thankful for you, David, for running point and being lead to have a podcast like this. And it seems like the more I get into this, and I’ve been doing this for 33 years, but still I’m learning so much every day. Hey, there’s this podcast going on over here. There’s this ministry over here. There’s this group of dads over here. I’m encouraged. Be encouraged today! God has you where you are for a purpose and a reason, and if we can ever be of any help to you, please feel free to reach out to us at PIERFoundation.org. I think the phone number’s on there, emails on there. We’d love to be able to help anywhere we can and to share the message of love and hope anywhere and as often as possible.

David Hirsch: Thank you. So let’s give a special shout out to Pam Harmon of Young Life Capernaum for helping connect us.

Hutch Matteson: Yes, thank you. That was a wonderful connection. She’s a great lady, great program as well. Young Life Capernaum. It’s always great to be around somebody who is a connector, that can make introductions like she did with you and me, and I’m so very appreciative of her. An opportunity to get to know you.

David Hirsch: Excellent. So if somebody wants to learn about The PIER Foundation or contact you, what’s the best way to do that?

Hutch Matteson: They can do that through our website. You can go to PIERFoundation.org. There’s some other ways you can get ahold of us. EllieMaeSweetTreats.com as well is another way. Everything kind of goes back to that same website, but I think our phone number is on there. Email address if I can share that, it’s simply Hutch@PierFoundation.org. If we can help in any way, shape, form, or fashion, if we have the bandwidth we wanna be able to do it.

David Hirsch: We’ll be sure to include all that and then some in the show notes that will make it as easy as possible for somebody to follow up. Hutch, thank you for taking the time and many insights. As a reminder, Hutch is just one of the dads who’s part of the Special Fathers Network, a mentoring program for fathers raising a child with special needs. If you’d like to be a mentor father or are seeking advice from a mentor father with a similar situation to your own, please go to 21stCenturyDads.org.

Thank you for listening to the latest episode of the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast. I hope you enjoyed the conversation as much as I did. As you probably know, the 21st Century Dads Foundation is a 501c3 not-for-profit organization, which means we need your help to keep our content free to all concerned. Would you please consider making a tax-deductible contribution? I would really appreciate your support. Hutch, thanks again.

Hutch Matteson: Thanks, David. And make that contribution. It’s a great cause.

Tom Couch: And thank you for listening to the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast. The Special Fathers Network is a dad to dad mentoring program for fathers raising children with special needs. Through our personalized matching process, new fathers with special needs children match up with mentor fathers in a similar situation. It’s a great way for dads to support other dads. To find out more, go to 21stCenturyDads.org.

David Hirsch: And if you’re a dad looking for help or would like to offer help, we would be honored to have you join our closed Facebook group. Please go to Facebook.com, groups, and search “dad to dad.” Lastly, we’re always looking to share interesting stories. If you’d like to share your story or know of a compelling story, please send an email to David@21stCenturyDads.org.

Tom Couch: The Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast was produced by me, Tom Couch.

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