312 – Mastermind Group Monday with Jeff Johnson of Anderson, SC

Transcript:

Jeff Johnson: [00:00:00] Fellas, we want you to join us. We want you to come and feel the camaraderie and feel the oneness that we have as dads that have children with special needs.

David Hirsch: Hi, I’m David Hirsch, host of the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast, now with more than 300 weekly episodes. Every Friday since 2018 we’ve been shining a bright light on the positive and uplifting aspects of raising children with disabilities and inspiring dads, stepdads, granddads, and father figures to be more present physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

David Hirsch: Welcome to the new Special Fathers Network MasterMind Group Monday Podcast. I’ll be interviewing MasterMind group dads who will reflect on the positive impact the MasterMind group experience has had on them and the wellbeing of their families.

David Hirsch: As a reminder, the SFN MasterMind Group experience is the most comprehensive program the 21st Century Dads Foundation offers. Dads raising children with special needs meet virtually on a weekly basis and form meaningful relationships while sharing weekly wins, discussing books, [00:01:00] and sharing heartfelt challenges. One of the highlights of the year is attending an in-person weekend retreat. We’re launching 10 new SFN MasterMind Groups in 2024 with 10 dads per group. That means we’re only looking for 10 like-minded dads in each community. If you’re a dad raising a child with special needs, we hope you’ll join a local SFN MasterMind group and make the investment to become the best version of yourself. For more information, please see the show notes or simply go to 21stCenturyDads. org. Happy listening.

David Hirsch: I’m thrilled to be talking today with my friend Jeff Johnson of Anderson, South Carolina, who works as a meat cutter for public supermarkets, and the father of two boys including one with profound disability. Jeff, thank you for taking the time to do a MasterMind Group Monday interview for the Special Fathers Network.

Jeff Johnson: Thank you, David. I appreciate it.

David Hirsch: You and your wife, Michelle, have been married for 30 years and are the proud parents of two adult children: Michael, 29, and Daniel, 26, who has hydrocephalus and encephalitis. Let’s start with some background. You’ve been involved with the Special Fathers Network for more than [00:02:00] five years. Your SFN Dad to Dad Podcast episode number 155 aired in June of 2021. For the past three years, you’ve been involved with the Wednesday night MasterMind group and you’ve attended the SFN MasterMind Group weekend retreats. Please provide our listening audience with a little background on the Johnson family.

Jeff Johnson: Okay. Thanks, David. My name is Jeff Johnson like you said. My wife is Michelle. My boys, Michael is my oldest, Daniel is our youngest. Michael’s 29. Daniel’s 26. Michael actually just became a doctor a year ago, doctor of physical therapy. He’s working in Durham at Duke University, at Duke Regional, and so we’re very proud of him.

Jeff Johnson: Daniel is 26, and Daniel is profoundly disabled. And like you said, he was born with an encephalocele, which is a neural tube defect. So a lot of issues. Won’t go into all of them, but stopped counting surgical procedures into the hundreds. At this point, we are trying to give Daniel the best life that we can. Keep him comfortable, pain free, [00:03:00] and give him the best life we can.

Jeff Johnson: Also, I work for public supermarkets, in my 37th year. Spent 28 years in management and the last 10 years or nine years, I’ve stepped out. I’ve got smart issues that I need to watch, take care of. So that’s about what I’m doing.

Jeff Johnson: About 10 years ago, we started running with Daniel. We were introduced to Ainsley’s Angels, a group that is all about inclusion and lending legs to a child or an adult that is unable to run by themselves. And so we’ve been running with Daniel for almost 10 years now in a racing wheelchair. It’s an incredible group. They’re all over the United States. Daniel has run, I think, 12 half marathons and then numerous 10ks, 5ks. He loves it. He loves to be outside. He loves the wind in his face. Any stimulation is good for him and he seems to react positively to it. So we love doing that with Daniel.

David Hirsch: Yeah, thanks for saying something about Ainsley’s Angels with [00:04:00] Rooster Rossiter who, if I’ve got my number correct, he was episode number 29 of the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast. Great organization, great program, and it’s literally what brought us together, right? That common interest that we have in Ainsley’s Angels.

David Hirsch: I’m wondering, before you got involved with the Special Fathers Network, if you could remember, what was it that attracted you to the organization?

Jeff Johnson: It was actually you. You called me, and I’m trying to think what I said in our original podcast, but it’s probably been, what, almost four years ago now. When you called me, I was standing in line to vote. David Hirsch, I have no idea who you are, and you explained to me who you were and explained Special Fathers Network to me. And so we talked, I think we talked for almost an hour while I stood outside in line. And I think I shared with you in that original conversation that years ago, when Daniel was just a baby, I had wanted to start some type of a father’s group, support group, and things just didn’t work out. Your call to me was, it was almost a godsend and it was very special. I definitely [00:05:00] wanted to join in on what you had going.

David Hirsch: Yeah. We’re thrilled to have you. Thank you. So before you joined the MasterMind Group, do you remember having an opinion or a thought about it? What were you thinking before that?

Jeff Johnson: Like I share with the dads when we’re meeting, I’m relatively simple-minded, and I don’t know exactly what my idea was. I guess the first thing that came to mind was brainstorming when I thought the word MasterMind. And so I put brainstorming in with dads getting together with like-minded ideas and sharing. Sharing things about our kids, sharing experiences that we’ve had, maybe coming up with some best practices, some ideas that maybe other dads had not heard of. And I think it was just really to reach out and support dads in any way that we could by getting together and using our experiences to do that.

David Hirsch: That’s my recollection as well. And I’m curious to know what has attending these weekly SFN MasterMind Group meetings meant to you?

Jeff Johnson: It’s been incredible. I [00:06:00] think that we all know, and for the dads that are listening to this, it’s difficult for dads to talk about their kids. It’s just hard. It’s hard for us to show emotion, and it’s hard for us to share things that we don’t share with our wife, we don’t share with our friends, and we keep inside. And this group has allowed me, personally, to open up and share things that maybe I haven’t shared with anybody. Or I’ve shared things that I’ve got a response back from dads who understand exactly where I’m coming from. And so they can feel what I feel. And I think just that camaraderie is so special, especially for dads.

David Hirsch: Absolutely. So as part of the SFN MasterMind Group experience, we read and discuss six books a year, and then do a Zoom call with the author. Which has been your favorite book and author for that matter?

Jeff Johnson: I had to pick three, David. I hate to do that. But as I was looking back at them and thinking about the books, The Ultimate Life by Jim Stovall is just an incredible book in every way. And so two of these books that I [00:07:00] picked were done by adults. And I don’t even want to say they had disabilities because they’re not disabled. They’re gift givers and they’re incredible people. And they have overcome some issues that were given to them. Jim is blind and what he can see as a blind man is far more than probably what I can see with sight. But just an incredible author. The Ultimate Life by Jim Stovall.

Jeff Johnson: And then Thinking in Pictures by Temple Grandin, a woman with autism who obviously recognizes that she is autistic and can speak first handed of what she goes through and in her daily life and how she’s learned to overcome so many obstacles. It was incredible. It was an incredible book. She’s an incredible woman and it was great to speak with her when we did that Zoom with her. So that was great.

Jeff Johnson: And then The Leader Within Us. Warren Rustand. Of course, this is David’s favorite gentleman. So we [David laughs] hear a lot about him quite [00:08:00] often, but just an incredible man. And I think just his organizational skills and his deliberateness of everything that he does in life. And that applies to a child with disabilities and how he’s handled things. And they’re all incredible.

David Hirsch: Yeah, you picked three of my favorite not only authors and books, but individuals that have done podcasts for the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast: Jim Stovall, Temple Grandin, and Warren Rustand. And for different reasons, right? They’re just, like you said, amazing human beings.

David Hirsch: So at the heart of the SFN MasterMind Group experience are what we call Dad in the Middle, where two dads per meeting share a challenge they’re wrestling with. What have those Dad in the Middle segments meant to you, and why are they important?

Jeff Johnson: I think I would go back to sharing like I talked about a little earlier. But I think that this is even more personal. I think the intention was for us to ask a question or pose a question. And sometimes it isn’t always just posing a question, but it’s sharing something and just trying to get a feel for what the other dads think [00:09:00] about what you’re presenting to them. And so we’re hoping that by being the dad in the middle and exposing ourselves and making ourselves vulnerable, that we’re going to get some feedback that either can help us deal with the situation that we’re in, or possibly have to deal with something in the future if we’ve already screwed up the situation that we’ve been in. And so once again it’s just a dad looking at a dad and sharing personal thoughts, personal feelings that are just very difficult to do. We love each other. We care about each other. And so it makes it easier.

David Hirsch: Each fall, the 21st Century Dads Foundation hosts its annual SFN MasterMind Group weekend retreat. What’s been your favorite MasterMind Group retreat experience and why?

Jeff Johnson: Okay, so I grew up in Elgin, Illinois, which is a suburb of Chicago. I had never been on a riverboat ride down the Chicago River. That was exciting in and of itself. But I think the thing that was most memorable was I left my phone at Matt Bando’s condo. [David laughs] I can’t get ahold of [00:10:00] my family. If anything happens to my son, no way I can’t get ahold of anybody. No one can get ahold of me. With the chaos that brought, it still was an incredible time for all the dads. We’re on the boat, we’re BS-ing, we’re having a good time. And it wasn’t a time where we didn’t think about our kids, but I think it was a time where maybe the kids were maybe in the background and we were just a group of dads having a really great time and enjoying the view and just enjoying each other.

David Hirsch: It was a very memorable experience. I loved that river boat experience that we had together. So regarding the financial commitment, SFN MasterMind Group dads invest anywhere from $50 to $200 per month, according to their financial wherewithal. What would you say to that dad who’s interested in the MasterMind group concept, but concerned about the financial commitment?

Jeff Johnson: I would tell you that it’s worth every dollar. I don’t think you can put a value on it. I don’t think you can measure what we come away with every week and what we’ve come away with after two years as far [00:11:00] as friendships and help when you need it. And then also being able to reach out and help others.

Jeff Johnson: And last night we had a great meeting and it was just a good meeting for everybody. And we touched a new dad. I feel like that makes it all worth it. And so if you’re a new dad and you need something, you need somebody to reach out, you need a good word, you need some support, it’s definitely worth the investment.

David Hirsch: Is there anything else you’d like to say before we wrap up?

Jeff Johnson: I don’t think so. Like I told you, I was more nervous to do this than my podcast. But I think the reason I’m nervous is because we’re trying to reach a target group that I know needs help. I knew it over 25 years ago when Daniel was first born. I know it now because we talk about it every week and we see it every day. We see dads leaving the home. We see dads leaving the family. We see dads struggle every day in silence and things get worse. And so I just felt like today was even more important [00:12:00] than the first podcast. And fellas, we want you to join us. We want you to come and feel the camaraderie and feel the oneness that we have as dads that have children with special needs. Thank you, David.

David Hirsch: Yeah, it is important, and there’s no reason to be nervous. But if somebody wants to contact you, what’s the best way to do that?

Jeff Johnson: I’ll just give you my cell phone. It’s a 864-444- 8170. Holler at me anytime. And if I can’t talk, we’ll set up a time that I can talk.

David Hirsch: We’ll put that information in the show notes so it’ll make it as easy as possible for somebody to connect. We’ll also include the link to your episode number 155 of the SFN Dad to Dad Podcast as well.

David Hirsch: Jeff, thank you for your time and many insights. As a reminder, Jeff is just one of the dads who has agreed to be a mentor father as part of the Special Fathers Network and a member of the SFN MasterMind Group. For more information on the Special Fathers Network and the Special Fathers Network MasterMind Group, please go to 21stCenturyDads.org. Additional links can also be found in the show notes. Jeff, thanks again.

Jeff Johnson: Thank you, David. Appreciate [00:13:00] it.