318 – Mastermind Group Monday with Shane Madden of Collierville, TN

Transcript:

Shane Madden: [00:00:00] Not knowing a lot of special needs fathers here in the Memphis area and just being able to connect with fathers who were going through a lot of the same experiences that I faced day to day, it was reassuring. It gave me a lot of hope.

David Hirsch: Hi, I’m David Hirsch, host of the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast, now with more than 300 weekly episodes. Every Friday since 2018, we’ve been shining a bright light on the positive and uplifting aspects of raising children with disabilities and inspiring dads, stepdads, granddads, and father figures to be more present physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

David Hirsch: Welcome to the new Special Fathers Network MasterMind Group Monday Podcast. I’ll be interviewing MasterMind group dads who will reflect on the positive impact the MasterMind group experience has had on them and the wellbeing of their families. As a reminder, the SFN MastermMind Group experience is the most comprehensive program the 21st Century Dads Foundation offers. Dads raising children with special needs meet virtually on a weekly basis and form meaningful relationships while sharing weekly [00:01:00] wins, discussing books, and sharing heartfelt challenges. One of the highlights of the year is attending an in-person weekend retreat. We’re launching 10 new SFN MasterMind Groups in 2024 with 10 dads per group. That means we’re only looking for 10 like-minded dads in each community. If you’re a dad raising a child with special needs, we hope you’ll join a local SFN MasterMind Group and make the investment to become the best version of yourself. For more information, please see the show notes or simply go to 21stCenturyDads.org. Happy listening.

David Hirsch: I’m thrilled to be talking today with my friend Shane Madden of Collierville, Tennessee, who is a father and Operations Analyst at Pfizer. Shane, thank you for taking the time to do a MasterMind Group Monday interview for the Special Fathers Network.

Shane Madden: Thank you for having me, David.

David Hirsch: You and your wife, Emily, have been married for eight years and are the proud parents of Marshall, who is eight, and who has cerebral palsy. You’ve also been in the Special Fathers Network for more than three years. Your Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast, episode number 154, [00:02:00] aired in June of 2021. For the past two years, you’ve been involved with the Wednesday Night Special Fathers Network MasterMind Group, and you attended the MasterMind Group Weekend Retreat in Chicago. Would you please provide our listening audience with a brief background on the Madden family?

Shane Madden: Sure, David. I grew up originally in the Nashville, Tennessee area. I moved to Memphis about 11 years ago and that’s where I met my wife, Emily. We actually used to work together. We have one son, Marshall. You mentioned he was eight. He actually just had a birthday, so he’s actually nine now.

David Hirsch: Oh my gosh.

Shane Madden: And like you said, I do work at Pfizer as a customer operations analyst. And I have a bachelor’s in economics. It’s my background and education. As far as Marshall’s concerned and as far as special needs, he has a diagnosis of cerebral palsy and he was diagnosed with that at two years old. And then an additional diagnosis around five years old, he also has autism as well.

David Hirsch: Okay. Thank you for the brief flyby. So I’m curious to know what [00:03:00] attracted you to get involved with the Special Fathers Network originally?

Shane Madden: Sure, David. For me, I really wanted to help new fathers out there that might be going through some of the same things I encountered as a new father of a child with special needs. And at the time I had several years of experience with Marshall and seeking services and therapy. And I thought I could be of assistance to someone, hopefully in the Memphis area or abroad. And that’s what really drew me into the group. It was an opportunity to pay it forward, not knowing that I would probably benefit more from the group than what I could provide.

David Hirsch: Yeah, that’s pretty common. So I’m curious to know what did you understand about the MasterMind group before you joined?

Shane Madden: I just knew it was a group of guys who all had children with some sort of special needs. And they met a couple of times a month, read a book. I didn’t know a lot until I actually attended kind of some tests, some trial runs to the meetings. And then I got to see how in depth it was and hear the stories of the other [00:04:00] fathers. I didn’t really know what to expect in the beginning, to be honest.

David Hirsch: Do you remember attending those first handful of meetings? What were those weekly meetings like?

Shane Madden: They were eye-opening to me, because not knowing a lot of special needs fathers here in the Memphis area and just being able to connect with fathers who were going through a lot of the same experiences that I faced day to day, it was reassuring. It gave me a lot of hope to know that I wasn’t alone in this journey as a special needs father.

David Hirsch: Yeah thanks for sharing. So what has attending the weekly MasterMind group meetings meant to you?

Shane Madden: I tell you, David, it really gives me a lot of balance in my life. It’s something I always look forward to on Wednesday night, whether I need to come and just listen or I may need to vent for the week. Maybe I’ve had an IEP meeting at school that week or something like that. But it really gives me a chance to both listen and share what’s happening in my life and Marshall’s life. It’s a really great resource for me to be able to attend those [00:05:00] meetings.

David Hirsch: As part of the MasterMind Group experience, we read and discuss six books a year and then do a Zoom call with the author. Which has been your favorite book and author for that matter?

Shane Madden: My favorite book has been One More Step by Bonner Paddock. He is an individual, an adult male with cerebral palsy. And I had originally discovered him because I was trying to find role models for Marshall to look up to, emulate, successful people with cerebral palsy. And so being able to read his book and get to talk with him face to face, it was really like a bucket list item. It’s something I didn’t know if I would ever be able to do because he’s on the West Coast in California or Mexico, wherever he may be at the point in time. So being able to connect with him and talk about his experiences and his book, wow. What an experience that was.

David Hirsch: It was really special. And I want to give you proper attribution. You brought his name to my attention. I reached out to him. He said yes. We read his book and then the whole group had a chance to spend some [00:06:00] time with Bonner Paddock. It was amazing.

David Hirsch: At the heart of the MasterMind Group experience is what we call Dad in the Middle, where two dads per meeting share a challenge they’re wrestling with. What have those Dad in the Middle segments meant to you and why?

Shane Madden: Just to be able to share intimate details of what’s happening with you, with your child. I can’t express how grateful I am to have that opportunity. Like I said, I mentioned before, it’s really provided balance in my life and it really has. More I think than any therapy could because, yeah, I could go talk to a therapist, but the likelihood is they’re probably not a special needs father, and they’re probably not going to fully understand exactly what it is that I encounter on a day to day basis where these dads in the group, they do understand.

David Hirsch: Yeah, point well made. Each fall, the 21st Century Dads Foundation hosts its annual SFN MasterMind Group Weekend Retreat. What has been your favorite aspect of the retreat experience and why?

Shane Madden: Yeah, so I’ve only got to attend one so far, which was the Chicago retreat this past year. I might be [00:07:00] one of the only few, but to be honest, I really enjoyed the cycle bar ride. I used to do a lot of biking when I was younger and now that I’m a dad and busy with work and stuff, I don’t get to do it as much as I’d like. And so just spending that time, even though we were pushing hard and peddling and breaking a good sweat, just being there and doing an activity with the guys and just being together, I just really enjoyed that. The whole weekend was great. The Riverboat ride, dinners, everything was great about that weekend.

David Hirsch: It was a lot of fun. So regarding the financial commitment, the SFN MasterMind Group dads invest anywhere from $50 to $200 dollars per month according to their financial wherewithal. What would you say to a dad who’s interested in the MasterMind Group but concerned about the financial commitment?

Shane Madden: I can understand their concern. Being a special needs parent, there are a lot of expenses that we have that your typical family may not encounter. But I think if you plan for it and you budget for it and you make it a priority, it’s a very small [00:08:00] investment with a very large payout in the end, I think. My advice would be attend some of the meetings, give it a test drive, see what you think. And if you like what you see, try to make it a priority. Like I said, it’s not a huge investment in the grand scheme of things. Going out to eat once or twice a month, you basically would spend that or more easily.

David Hirsch: Absolutely. So I’m thinking about advice now, and can you share with a dad who’s on the fence about joining the MasterMind Group?

Shane Madden: Yeah! Come test drive one of our weekly meetings, whether it be the Tuesday or Wednesday meeting. If you’ve got the ability to connect one on one with a dad that’s already in the Special Fathers Network, maybe give him a phone call. Just talk to him a little more, get a little deeper understanding, ask some questions, share some concerns. It’s a safe place. I want dads to know that. It is a safe place. You’re not going to be judged. So give it a try and I think you’ll like what you see.

David Hirsch: [00:09:00] Yeah, good advice. Thank you. Is there anything else you’d like to say before we wrap up?

Shane Madden: David, I can’t thank you enough for getting this group of dads organized and together. Like I said, I look forward to it every Wednesday. I try to make it a priority in my life because I believe it is important. And I just want to say thank you.

David Hirsch: Yeah you’re welcome. It’s been a thrill to get to know the dads on the Wednesday night call, on the Tuesday night call, and then some of the newer dads who’ve been joining in various locations around the country.

David Hirsch: If somebody wants to contact you, what’s the best way to do so?

Shane Madden: Yeah, best way is going to be through email. dmadden79@aol.com. I think I’ve got the last AOL account in America, so it still works.

David Hirsch: Okay, I’ll be sure to include that and maybe a connection to your LinkedIn profile as well.

Shane Madden: Yeah, that would be fine as well.

David Hirsch: Shane, thank you for the time and many insights. As a reminder, Shane is just one of the dads who’s agreed to be a Special Fathers Network mentor father and who is a Special Fathers Network MasterMind Group Dad. For more information on the Special Fathers Network and the MasterMind Group, please [00:10:00] go to 21stCenturyDads.org. Additional links can also be found in the show notes. Shane, thanks again.