320 – Mastermind Group Monday With Ian Todd of Baltimore, MD

Transcript:

Ian Todd: I think the important thing to understand is that we’re interested in you as an individual and as a father. If you’re on the fence, you already need to be in here. It’s not really a question. I encourage them to allow themselves to look over that fence, to come join this club, to be part of something that’s going to allow you to have the energy and positivity to make sure that you’re making a meaningful, positive impact in your child’s life regardless of their situation.

David Hirsch: Hi, I’m David Hirsch, host of the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast. Now, with more than 300 weekly episodes every Friday since 2018, we’ve been shining a bright light on the positive and uplifting aspects of raising children with disabilities and inspiring dads, stepdads, granddads and father figures to be more present physically, emotionally and spiritually. Welcome to the new Special Fathers Network Mastermind Group Monday Podcast. I’ll be interviewing Mastermind Group dads who will reflect on the positive impact the Mastermind Group Experience has had on them and the well-being of their families. As a reminder, the SFN Mastermind Group Experience is the most comprehensive program the 21st Century Dad’s foundation offers. Dads raising children with special needs, meet virtually on a weekly basis and form meaningful relationships while sharing weekly wins, discussing books, and sharing heartfelt challenges. One of the highlights of the year is attending an in-person weekend retreat. We’re launching 10 new SFN mastermind groups in 2024 with 10 dads per group. That means we’re only looking for 10 like-minded dads in each community. If you’re a dad raising a child with special needs, we hope you’ll join a local SFN Mastermind Group and make the investment to become the best version of yourself. For more information, please see the show notes or simply go to 21stCenturyDads.org. Happy listening.

David Hirsch: I’m thrilled to be talking today with my friend Ian Todd of Baltimore, Maryland, who’s a senior service consultant with SSC Advent, father of two daughters and one of the original members of the Special Fathers Network Mastermind Group. Ian, thank you for taking the time to do a Mastermind Group Monday interview for the Special Fathers Network.

Ian Todd: Thank you for having me.

David Hirsch: David, you and your wife Erin have been married for 12 years and are the proud parents of two girls, Maple, 7, and Rosie, 5, who suffered a brain injury from bacterial meningitis and who was sight impaired. You’ve been involved with the Special Fathers Network for more than three years. Your SFN Dad to Dad Podcast episode number 238 aired in January of 2023. And for the past three years, you’ve been involved with the Wednesday night Mastermind Group, and you attended all three of the Mastermind Group weekend retreats. Would you please provide our listening audience with a brief background on the Todd family?

Ian Todd: Yeah, sure, David. Thank you so much for having me on again here. Todd family is based in Fells Point, which is in Baltimore, Maryland. So we are right down here on the, waterfront in downtown Baltimore. Erin and I met in college. You know, your traditional young professional love story. I’m originally from up north, but when you meet a Maryland girl, you’ll stay in Maryland. It’s perfectly fine by me. I absolutely love it here. See here, we had, Maple back in 2016, and so a totally normal birth. You know, we were extremely thankful, extremely fortunate to have a baby that was just hitting every milestone. And then in February 2019, Rosie came along. Rosie was a couple weeks early for a series of complications, and ultimately we ended up back in the ICU fighting very serious case of bacterial meningitis. Rosie was six years old when she underwent a bilateral craniotomy, during which she suffered a stroke, in order to help to relieve the infection. And then in April of that year, she came home. And then, ever since then, we’ve been a family at home. We’ve had a lot of trials and tribulations along the way. Obviously, Covid was something that everybody experienced for us. It was very unique, very stressful. Just another thing on top of everything else. But I am, happy and thankful and proud to say that we are all here today and we are thriving. We are a happy, productive family, and it feels great.

David Hirsch: Yeah, well, thrilled that you could

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David Hirsch: be with us. So I’m sort of curious now, what attracted you to get involved with the Special Fathers Network to begin with?

Ian Todd: I think for me, it was about the sense of community. It became pretty apparent to me pretty quickly that we were going to have to understand what life was going to look like after bacterial meningitis and everything that actually comes with that. We were very fortunate, though, to have a number of experts around us say, look, this is going to be a journey. Everybody’s going to need help. And so, for me, it became particularly, important for myself to find a network where I could find the support I need, find the outlet I needed, because it was certainly not apparent to me from any other angle.

David Hirsch: Well, we’re thrilled to have you. So what did you understand about the Special Fathers Network mastermind? Group before you joined.

Ian Todd: So I saw a flyer, I saw a flyer for one of the annual conferences. I received that flyer because I was on a distribution list through my local ARC chapter. Basically, I was curious and so I went on to the private Facebook site, I looked at the public facing website and I said, you know what? This is something that I can definitely join. So I remember it vividly.

David Hirsch: What was it like attending the first, couple three Mastermind, group weekly meetings?

Ian Todd: The first couple of Mastermind group meetings were interesting because it became very evident to everybody in the group that this was a quorum of people that were all here for the same reason. And that very quickly builds a level of trust around you and actually the other people in the group where you suddenly have a lot of confidence to walk into that room, feel that you’re going to be understood, feel that you’re going to be accepted, and really gain insight from other people who have had to walk a path that may not be exactly your path, but boy, oh boy, it’s probably pretty similar in a lot of ways.

David Hirsch: As part of the Special Fathers Network Mastermind group experience, we read and discuss six books a year and then do a zoom call with the author, which has been your favorite book and author?

Ian Todd: Actually I have them all like, literally underneath my desk, like right here to my left. I would say that Temple Grand’s book had a really important role in kind of the way that I saw things. And having the opportunity to speak also with Temple had a profound impact on me because it really made me realize that children, regardless of their situation, they need to have the opportunity to thrive. And that’s going to look very different in a lot of different situations. And I believe that her life is a testament to that. So I like to incorporate that into everything we do with Rosie because I really do believe that she can thrive past that. I would say probably Warren Rustan’s book, the, Leader Within Us. Warren Rustan, to start with, is just such a transformative figure when you think about people involved in the world of leadership. But the way that he ties it back to his own core principles and beliefs really creates an excellent foundation for any young man trying to start a family. Let’s loan those with unforeseen challenges.

David Hirsch: Yep, two excellent books. Temple Grandin’s book Thinking in Pictures and Warren Rustan’s book, The Leader Within Us. At the heart of the Special Fathers Network Mastermind group experience is what we call dad in the middle, where two dads per meeting share a challenge. They’re wrestling with what are those data in the middle segments meant to you and why?

Ian Todd: Dad in the middle, for me, is important for two reasons. Number one is if I got something that I’m dealing with, it’s a great forum for me to help to get that off my chest. And it’s also great to get the feedback from a lot of other people. Sometimes I just need a place to rant. Sometimes I honestly just need a place to be sad and for people to understand and what it feels like to have loss. The other reason why I think it’s super important is because you sit basically as a member in those forums. Right. And so even when you’re not on the floor, you’re looking at someone who sits in quorum with you. And I have found an incredible amount of comfort in being able to watch men older than me, smarter than me, with children years and years and years ahead of mine talk about the complexity of life.

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Ian Todd: And to have that opportunity on a weekly basis and to get to sit and to listen and to reflect upon that, I feel makes me honestly a better person.

David Hirsch: Yeah, well spoken. Each fall, the 21st Century Dads foundation hosts its annual SFN Mastermind Group Weekend retreat. What’s been your favorite Mastermind group retreat experience and why?

Ian Todd: I like Chicago. I thought Chicago had a number of things going on that allowed us to really leverage the city. I think also being able to actually look at the audience and see how things have grown and evolved over the past three years as being one of the members that’s actually gone to all of them so far. The growth is really the most important aspect of that, I think also, too, just being able to change perspective. A lot of these fathers, they don’t get the opportunity to travel. They don’t have that privilege. But to make the time for something this important, it’s something we see and it’s something to be honored and really feel. Feel thankful about.

David Hirsch: Yeah, well, from some pretty humble beginnings when we started out in Nashville with a pretty small group, the very first year. And it, is remarkable. And I’m hoping that, from your lips to God’s ears, that we’ll continue to grow and maybe by 2 and 3x year to year like we have. So regarding the financial commitment, the Mastermind, group dads invest anywhere from $50 to $200 per month according to their financial wherewithal. What would you say to that dad who’s interested in the mastermind group but concerned about the financial commitment?

Ian Todd: Money comes second. I think the important thing to understand is that we’re interested in you as an individual and as a father. Past that, being able to make a contribution or not, that’s something that can be taken on a case by case basis. I think if you do have the opportunity to give, it is extremely important because there is a very underserved population of fathers who are struggling and that directly impacts the next generation. And so to have the ability to raise up those fathers, make sure that everybody gets a place at the table, allows us to ensure that the future is one that everybody wants to live in.

David Hirsch: Yep, I totally agree. So I’m thinking about advice now. What advice can you share with a dad who’s on, the fence about joining the Mastermind group?

Ian Todd: If you’re on the fence, you already need to be in here. It’s not really a question.

David Hirsch: Right.

Ian Todd: I think that there’s a reason why people come to these podcasts and these, and they listen to these moments. I encourage them to allow themselves to look over that fence, to come join this club, to be part of something that’s going to allow you to have the energy and positivity to make sure that you’re making a meaningful, positive impact in your child’s life, regardless of their situation.

David Hirsch: Well spoken. Is there anything else you’d like to say before we wrap up?

Ian Todd: Just in the words of our great friend Rich, all children need to be seen. So if you hear this and you’re not a father, but you know of a father or you know of a child, try to encourage them, share this with them, because we are here, we are open, we want to help.

David Hirsch: If somebody wants to contact you, what’s the best way to do so?

Ian Todd: Right now, the best way to do that is going to be via LinkedIn. So you can find me at Ian Todd.

David Hirsch: Yeah, I’ll be sure to include that in the show notes and a link to your, podcast episode number 238. Ian, thank you for your time and many insights. As a reminder, Ian is just one of the dads who has agreed to be a mentor father and who is part of the SFN Mastermind Group. For more information on the Special Fathers Network and the SFN Mastermind Group, please go to 21stCenturyDads.org. Additional links can also be found in the show notes. Ian, thanks again.

Ian Todd: Thank you, David.

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