338 – Mastermind Group Monday Nathan Woerner of Littleton, CO

Transcript:

Nathan Woerner: Our life is full of decisions and we make excuses for not eating well because we don’t have time. We don’t. We make excuses for not working out because we’re tired today. There are elements that we do that we have to ask is this valuable to my family? Is this going to make me a better husband? A better father, a better guy in general? Try it. It really is a valuable thing.

David Hirsch: Hi, I’m David Hirsch, host of the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast. Now with more than 300 weekly episodes every Friday since 2018, we’ve been shining a bright light on the positive and uplifting aspects of raising children with disabilities and inspiring dads, stepdads, granddads and father figures to be more present physically, emotionally and spiritually. Welcome to the new Special Fathers Network Mastermind Group Monday Podcast. I’ll be interviewing Mastermind Group dads who will reflect on the positive impact the Mastermind Group Experience has had on them and the well-being of their families. As a reminder, the SFN Mastermind Group experience is the most comprehensive program the 21st Century Dad foundation offers. Dads raising children with special needs, meet virtually on a weekly basis and form meaningful relationships while sharing weekly wins, discussing books and sharing heartfelt challenges. One of the highlights of the year is attending an in-person weekend retreat. We’re launching 10 new SFN mastermind groups in 2024 with 10 dads per group. That means we’re only looking for 10 like-minded dads in each community. If you’re a dad raising a child with special needs, we hope you’ll join a local SFN Mastermind Group and make the investment to become the best version of yourself. For more information, please see the show notes or simply go to 21stCenturyDads.org. Happy listening.

David Hirsch: I’m thrilled to be talking today with Nathan Woerner, my friend from Littleton, Colorado who is a former missionary in Japan with SEND International and father of two girls, including one with Angelman Syndrome. Nathan, thank you for taking the time to do a Mastermind Group Monday interview for the Special Fathers Network.

Nathan Woerner: Absolutely. I’m excited to be a part of this.

David Hirsch: You and your wife Maryah have been married for 17 years and are the proud parents of two girls, Naomi, 8, and Ada, 6, who has Angelman Syndrome. You’ve been involved with the Special Fathers Network for more than four years. Your Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast episode number 114 aired in September of 2020. You’re one of the first members of the Tuesday Night Mastermind Group and have attended the last few Mastermind Group Weekend retreats. A lot has changed since we recorded your initial SFN Dad to Dad Podcast more than four years ago. Would you please provide a brief update?

Nathan Woerner: Yeah, absolutely. It aired in September of 2020 and as we all know, the world was wild during the 2020 time. we were actually able to, just before the podcast aired, able to return to Japan. We served there for two years where we worked with special needs families in the Tokyo area. then God brought us back to the States. we transitioned back in the summer of 22 and we moved to Denver, Colorado area where we are doing life and continuing to bless and serve the special needs community here in Denver and internationally.

David Hirsch: Well, we’re thrilled to have you back in the States. So I’m sort of curious to know what was it that attracted you to get involved in the Special Fathers Network way back when?

Nathan Woerner: The first encounter with the Special Fathers Network was the day before the first virtual conference back in 2020. A friend of ours suggested I join this free dad event. So I was sitting on the, on my bed in my bedroom listening and joining into the conversation and I met David. At that point he invited me to be a part of the podcast, where I interviewed with him and then from that point on I helped support the Special Fathers Network internationally. While we were in Japan, I helped plan the next two virtual conferences from Japan as well as when we returned, continue to have my relationships with David and the rest of the Special Fathers Network community.

David Hirsch: Yeah, it seems like it was just yesterday, but it’s hard to believe that it was four years ago. So what was your understanding about the Mastermind group before you joined?

Nathan Woerner: David asked me to join the Mastermind group right as we were returning to the States back in July of 22. He said it was going to be a weekly meeting with some other like minded dads. They would give you support and encouragement and I have found that to be true. The group of dads that I have met with weekly over the almost past two years has been a rock for me as I process what the life of special needs dad in the States looks like.

David Hirsch: What did attending those

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David Hirsch: weekly meetings, those early weekly meetings mean to you?

Nathan Woerner: I had no idea how to navigate anything in the US. My daughter was beginning school and I needed to know what an IEP was. It’s an educational plan tailored specifically for an individual child. And so I didn’t know how to navigate that. I didn’t know how to navigate the frustrations of trying to get Medicaid to pay for things or my insurance to pay for things, and more than that, how to find a stability within this transitional phase that we were in.

David Hirsch: Yeah, well, it’s been a journey, that’s for sure. As part of the Special Fathers Network Mastermind group experience, we read six books a year and then do a zoom, call with the authors. Which has been your favorite book and author?

Nathan Woerner: That’s a really good question. I really enjoy Temple Grandin. We read one of her books recently and got a chance to speak with her. She really is an amazing advocate for both herself and special needs, particularly within the autism community. It was quite an honor to be able to speak with her. But, man, every one of the conversations we’ve had with the authors has been really unique and been really informative as well as, encouraging. As we’ve read through a myriad of different topics and themes. It always leads to fantastic discussions and really impactful, thoughts.

David Hirsch: I would agree with you, Temple Grandin is one of a kind, that’s for sure. And she’s not so far away there in Colorado. And, I think of those six zoom calls, we do the six zoom calls with the authors, as being some of the highlights of the Mastermind group experience. Right. An opportunity to spend an hour, in some cases with, a pretty consequential individual. Not just an author, but somebody who has a lot more to share. At the heart of the Mastermind group experience is what we call dad in the middle, where two dads per meeting share a challenge they’re wrestling with. What are those dad in the middle segments meant to you and why?

Nathan Woerner: There’s two different parts to it. One is the sharer, the person that is having a chance to voice their challenges. And the other is the participants that are encouraging. So I’m gonna start off with the sharer. When we live in this world of special needs, it is easy to get stuck in the mud. It’s easy to get stuck in a hole. And the one thing when you are in a hole, you cannot have is perspective, because all you see around you is dirt. And the one thing that you need is a perspective that this too will pass. So to be able to have an opportunity to share, man, I’m really frustrated with this aspect of my life. And having somebody else be able to validate it, to be able to say, you know what, I’ve been there too, and I’ve walked to the other side of that is wildly impactful for the sharer. Now the other side of it is the community around you around that sharer. I Have this theory that when we go through times of troubles, when we go through struggles, it’s really easy to have that be a burden on your life. And it becomes a treasure when it is given a context to be shared with others. And so when I am able to hear somebody’s story that’s like mine, and I can say to them, hey, I know what that feels like, I know what that looks like, and I have, stepped to the other side of that. Then it reminds me that I did get out that hole. So the next time I fall in a hole, I know that there’s a path out.

David Hirsch: Yeah, great perspective. And there are two sides of the, down in the middle, aspect. Right. Not just the opportunity to share something that you might be struggling with or to get some information and feedback on, but, it’s an opportunity for the rest of the group to, participate as well. Very insightful. So each fall, the 21st Century Dads foundation hosts its annual SFN Mastermind Group Weekend retreat. What are the Mastermind Group retreat experiences meant to you and why?

Nathan Woerner: With it being predominantly zoom calls, there is an element of, of the relationship I have with these other dads that I’ve known for two years. It’s a little limited. I can’t see them face to face, I can’t hug them when they’re hurting, I can’t weep with them, I can’t celebrate with them because they’re on the other side of the screen. And I have this idea that there is great value when we get to share the air, when we get to be in the same room, breathing the same air, feeling the spirit and the heart of that room, that’s where it’s powerful. When we have the opportunity to rest together, to encourage each other together, to celebrate the joys of our life and to mourn the grief of our life. Those things are elements of our experience that we really

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Nathan Woerner: have a hard time finding that kind of experience. And so those retreats have been a time where I have found like minded dudes who get it, who love me, who care for me, and who want me to succeed.

David Hirsch: Yeah, very well spoken. I’m almost getting the impression that they’re like homecomings. Right. You know, you don’t have a chance to see somebody, you know, often be in the same presence with them, but when you do, it really, means a lot. Right?

Nathan Woerner: Yeah. It’s a family reunion. It’s a group of guys that I love and care for and, and it’s like a family. We might be in different parts of the world. But we share a similar enough story. As our good friend, John says, we might not walk in the same shoes, but we shop at the same shoe store. We have some commonality of our experience, and that is a treasure to be able to spend with other guys like that.

David Hirsch: Absolutely. So regarding the financial commitment, the SFN mastermind group dads invest anywhere from $50 to $200 per month according to their financial wherewithal. What would you say to that dad who’s interested in the mastermind group but, concerned about the financial commitment?

Nathan Woerner: We make daily decisions when it comes to our finances, and it’s often something where we will put ourselves on the back burner instead. We support or resource our kids, our spouse. We want to sacrifice our own health for the benefit of others. And my recommendation for anybody that wants to consider joining one of these groups is no matter how much you can study it from the outside, you will never understand what it’s like until you actually get to sit in the dab in the middle seat or you actually get to go through the author calls. Or really, if you get to go to one of these mastermind retreats, you get to see that there is a great value in the relationships in the community and in the resourcing of ourselves to be better dads.

David Hirsch: Yep. Well spoken. it’s an investment, that’s for sure. So I’m thinking about advice and I’m wondering what type of advice you can share with dad who might be on the fence about joining the mastermind group.

Nathan Woerner: Our life is full of decisions and we make excuses for not eating well because we don’t have time. We don’t. We make excuses for not working out because we’re tired today. There are elements that we do that we have to ask is this valuable to my family? Is this going to make me a better husband? A better father, a better guy in general? Try it. It really is a valuable thing.

David Hirsch: Yep, I would agree. It’s like a lot of things in life. If it’s something like nothing ventured, nothing gained, or if I don’t try, I’ll never know. Right. And, err on the side of engaging. I think that’s what I heard you saying. Is there anything else you’d like to say before we wrap up?

Nathan Woerner: It has been an honor to be a part of the special father’s network for all these years. I have greatly increased my ability to encourage others through this time. I have greatly increased my ability to love my family well. And if those are things that you find you’re frustrated with your abilities, then engage. Jump in and see what it can be like to have a team around you so you’re not isolated and alone in this journey.

David Hirsch: Spot on. If somebody wants to contact you, what’s the best way to do so?

Nathan Woerner: You can email me at nwoerner@gmail.com, shoot me a text at 615-347-2618.

David Hirsch: I’ll be sure to include that information in the show notes so it’ll make it as easy as possible for somebody to follow up. Nathan, thank you for the time and many insights. As a reminder, Nathan is just one of the dads who’s agreed to be, SFN mentor father and who has been involved with the Special Fathers Network Mastermind Group. For more information on the Special Fathers Network and the Mastermind Group, Please go to 21stCenturydads.org. Additional links can also be found in the show notes. Nathan, thanks again.

Nathan Woerner: Absolutely, David.

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