346 – Mastermind Group Monday With Ruslan Vasyutin of Ukraine, Via Solihull, England

Transcript:

Ruslan Vasyutin: You share, you give something, but at the same time you get a lot of support. Emotional, intellectual, whatever, support. So after being father in center, you feel not only excited, but filled with new ideas, with new solutions, with self-confidence.

David Hirsch: Hi, I’m David Hirsch, host of the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast. Now with more than 300 weekly episodes every Friday since since 2018, we’ve been shining a bright light on the positive and uplifting aspects of raising children with disabilities and inspiring dads, stepdads, granddads and father figures to be more present physically, emotionally and spiritually. Welcome to the new Special Fathers Network Mastermind Group Monday Podcast. I’ll be interviewing Mastermind Group dads who will reflect on the positive impact the Mastermind Group experience has had on them and the well-being of their families. As a reminder, the SFN Mastermind Group experience is the most comprehensive program the 21st Century Dad foundation offers. Dads raising children with special needs meet virtually on a weekly basis and form meaningful relationships while sharing weekly wins, discussing books and sharing heartfelt challenges. One of the highlights of the year is attending an in-person weekend retreat. We’re launching 10 new SFN mastermind groups in 2024 with 10 dads per group. That means we’re only looking for 10 like-minded dads in each community. If you’re a dad raising a child with special needs, we hope you’ll join a local SFN Mastermind group and make the investment to become the best version of yourself. For more information, please see the show notes or simply go to 21stCenturyDads.org. Happy listening.

David Hirsch: Thrilled to be talking today with my Ukrainian friend Ruslan Vasyutin, who currently lives in England and who is the father of a 12-year-old daughter with cerebral palsy who is unable to walk or talk. Russell, thank you for taking the time to do a interview for the Mastermind Group Monday podcast.

Ruslan Vasyutin: It’s my pleasure, David.

David Hirsch: You and your ex-wife Olga divorced, two years ago. One of the proud parents of Alice, who is 12 and who has severe cerebral palsy and is unable to walk or talk. You’ve been involved with the Special Fathers Network the past four years. You’ve done two SFN Dad to Dad Podcast interviews. One in May of 2021 and a second in March of 2022, just weeks after the Russian invasion of Ukraine. You are also one of the first members of the London Mastermind Group and you attended the 2024 SFM Mastermind Group Weekend retreat in Chicago. please provide us with a brief update on the Vasyutin family.

Ruslan Vasyutin: Well, Vasyutin family is doing well and especially Alice. Everybody knows it’s an open secret that Alice is my highest priority in life. So my life task, my life goal is to provide her with all necessary to be happy. And I enjoy this goal. I, I feel it, I know it. And finally I’m good about, my activities, everyday activities. And this, focus satisfies, me very much. At the same time, I try to help other people, in particular families with children with disabilities. So we are still friends with my ex wife and we understand that Alice needs both father and mother. And we are, responsible parents. And as I’ve said, I try to distribute the idea of inclusion, the idea of true love in such families. And I liked very much the concept of mentoring fathers. And with, great pleasure, I participate in different activities arranged by SFN and I believe in great future of our team, of our company, and of our idea. For me, it’s even a challenge to promote SFN activities and to involve as many fathers as possible.

David Hirsch: Well, we’re thrilled to have you. I’m sort of curious to know, do you remember what attracted you to get involved in the SFN to begin with?

Ruslan Vasyutin: Well, if I’m not mistaken, it was my activities with DCP help. It’s a company that I founded when Alice was born. We provided a lot of inclusive activities in Ukraine at this time. And yeah, we met each other and distantly. And fortunately SFN became interested in my activities, in my contribution, so I was happy to share it.

David Hirsch: That’s fabulous. What was your understanding of the mastermind group before you

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David Hirsch: got involved?

Ruslan Vasyutin: Well, the interesting fact is that I myself, provide, mastermind groups, but in different direction. My mastermind groups are about integration, social integration, business integration, cultural integration for refugees and migrants. so I like this format, I respect it and I rely on it. So I was really surprised, positively surprised, that you decided to use the same format for communicating communication of fathers. So my expectation was already, very good and very high.

David Hirsch: Got it. So do you remember what it was like attending those first couple weekly meetings that Tim Coughlin organized?

Ruslan Vasyutin: Well, taking into account the fact that I know what it means, it was not 100% easy because new environment, new people, very private and sensitive issues and topics, sometimes language barrier, but in general, the atmosphere, the energy was so positive and inspiring that you start to feel much better very soon.

David Hirsch: Yep, that’s very true. it takes a little while to warm up and to get guys to feel comfortable talking about things that are so personal. That’s what I think I heard you say.

Ruslan Vasyutin: Yeah.

David Hirsch: As part of the, SFN Mastermind Group experience, we read a number of books each year and do a zoom call with the authors. Now, I know that it’s been a little bit different for the London group. There’s only been a couple of books. Did you have a favorite book? Do you remember any of the books that you read?

Ruslan Vasyutin: I am reading again, the book From Zero to Hero. It’s a big book, thick book, so I need more time to read it, but I want to read it more careful, even outside our tasks and, activities regarding this book, in the format of Mastermind groups. So I liked it. I like the topic. I like the approach. I like the idea.

David Hirsch: Yep. Well, that, book that you’re referring to, Zero to Hero, was written by a Vietnam veteran, combat Vietnam veteran and a medal of honor recipient, Alan lynch, coincidentally, from Gurnee, Illinois, not so far away from where I live and work. It’s a great book. he’s an amazing human being. Anybody who served in the war, not just the Vietnam War, than any war like you did as a veteran yourself, you know, you can appreciate the sacrifices that, people make and the humility, I think, that goes along with, you know, that service. Right. You know, you don’t think of yourselves as heroes, and he doesn’t think of himself as a hero. But, the real heroes are those that, make the ultimate sacrifice. Right. Who don’t live to experience the, freedom that they provide to the rest of us. So thanks for making reference to that. At the heart of the mastermind group experience is what we call dad in the middle, where two dads per meeting share a challenge they’re wrestling with. During the meeting, each person, one or two per meeting, has a chance to share something they’re struggling with or a challenge that they have. I’m wondering what those experiences meant to you.

Ruslan Vasyutin: Again, it’s very sensitive to share your thoughts, to share your feelings with others. But at the same time, you’re not losing energy. You are gaining the energy. And the beautiful and very valuable feedback from your colleagues, from your mates, is the most valuable thing in these mastermind groups. Being a father, in the center, you share, you give something, but at the same time, you, get a lot of support. Emotional, rational, intellectual, whatever. Support. So after being father and center, you feel not only excited, but filled with new ideas, with new solutions, with, self confidence.

David Hirsch: Absolutely. So each fall, the 21st Century Dads foundation hosts its annual SFN Mastermind Group Weekend retreat. You were able to attend the 2024 retreat just last month. What was your favorite Mastermind Group experience and why?

Ruslan Vasyutin: Well, everything was very interesting and exciting, but I liked when we played these cornholes, or how do you call it?

David Hirsch: Oh, that’s right. We had the cornhole game off to the side. And I think I taught you to play cornhole for the first time. Right?

Ruslan Vasyutin: Yeah. You know, it’s so simple and sometimes seems primitive, but so exciting. And you start to think, in special rhythm, with this game, with your partner in this game. So I found it very interesting. At the same time, of course, all our discussions, were very interesting and

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Ruslan Vasyutin: cultural program, of course. So it was a very nice and even perfect combination of different types of activities.

David Hirsch: Yeah, well, thanks for the feedback. I’ll be sure to share your cornhole experience with the others as well. I’m thinking about advice and I’m wondering, what type of advice can you share with a dad who might be on the fence about joining the Mastermind Group?

Ruslan Vasyutin: Well, the main advice is that it’s worth it. And I’m convinced that we are not victims. We are not suffering with our life situations. We are specially chosen people. We are carefully selected by God or by universe, I don’t know. But I’m sure, we should enjoy and we can enjoy our situation. And it’s possible, especially when you feel the same approach and the same attitude when you share it and you get back the positive feedback. And in Masterminds groups it’s possible in a very, condensed manner and very intensive sharing of values, of attitudes and emotions and thoughts. So it’s a developing environment. It’s a special environment helping you, supporting you, not even to survive, but to develop, to become happy.

David Hirsch: Yeah, Very well spoken. Is there anything else you’d like to say before we wrap up?

Ruslan Vasyutin: Oh, just thank you. Thank you for this opportunity. It was, an occasion that we met, but I thank God we, we met each other and I’m. I’m happy to be part of, of this community. Thank you, David.

David Hirsch: Yeah. Ah, well, you’re very welcome. The feelings are mutual. we’ve had a virtual relationship for three or four years and it was really a treat to meet you face to face. As well as the Iceland Dads, who are also involved in the London Mastermind Group as well, August, Siggy and Peter, as well. So I’m hoping that it won’t be just a one and done type of experience, but it might become an annual experience that we have a chance to get together.

Ruslan Vasyutin: Yeah, definitely.

David Hirsch: If somebody wants to contact you, what’s the best way to do so?

Ruslan Vasyutin: Social Network. I’m Ruslan Vasyutin everywhere, LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram. I’ll be happy to get new friends.

David Hirsch: Okay. I’ll be sure to include that information in the show notes. It’ll make it as easy as possible for somebody to reach out to you. Ruslan, thank you for your time and many insights. As a reminder, Ruslan is just one of the dads who’s agreed to be a mentor father as part of the Special Fathers Network and is involved with the SFN Mastermind Group. For more information on the Special Fathers Network and the SFN Mastermind Group, Please go to 21stCenturyDads.org. Additional information can be found in the show notes as well. Ruslan, thanks again.

Ruslan Vasyutin: Thank you. David.

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