359 – A Look Back On 2024

Transcript:

Tom Couch: Special thanks to Horizon Therapeutics for sponsoring the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast. Working tirelessly to research, develop and bring forward medicines for people living with rare and rheumatic diseases. Discover more about Horizon Therapeutics mission at horizontherapeutics.com.

David Hirsch: Hi, I’m David Hirsch, founder of the 21st Century Dads foundation and Special Fathers Network, as well as host of the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast. Happy New Year and welcome to the first episode of 2025. Tom Couch, the editor and producer of the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast and I thought we would do something special to provide a look back on 2024. In total we produced 72 episodes. 52 were weekly episodes airing on Fridays and for 20 weeks from May through September, we produced a series of short episodes with Special Fathers Network mentor fathers who are also involved in the Special Fathers Network Mastermind Group. We called them SFN Mastermind Group Monday Podcasts. While we’d love to include a snippet from all 70 plus episodes, to keep it more concise, we decided to provide some highlights. We hope you enjoy listening to this look back on 2024 as much as we did producing it.

David Hirsch: 18 of the 2024 guests are authors. 19 of the interviews included international guests from the following seven countries: Australia, Canada, Cayman Islands, Cuba, Iceland, Israel and the UK. Four of our guests were women. Three interviews were dads who lost a child, including one an Israeli hostage killed by Hamas terrorists. Two interviews included military veterans, a former US Navy Seal and US Air Force Vietnam era combat pilot, and one of the guests is a Native American. The episodes also spanned a wide range of disabilities including autism, down syndrome, cerebral palsy, rare disease, dwarfism, as well as those who are blind, deaf and missing their limber limbs. Here’s a brief month to month recap with a clip from a select number of episodes. In January we aired four episodes including a dad from the UK and one from the Cayman Islands, as well as one with Jonathan Eig, father to three, including a son whose parents passed away at an early age. Jon is also the best selling author of biographies on Muhammad Ali, Lou Gehrig and Martin Luther King Jr.

Jonathan Eig: This one small decision that I made to step in and become big brother for this kid has, you know, just had endless ripples of benefits for me and has enriched my life and enriched my daughter’s life and you know, long after I’m gone they’re going to be have this really wonderful relationship. We extended our family. We were lucky to have two girls, but then to have an extra like a bonus kid and such a wonderful one. You know, you know, I talk to him every day. We work out together at the gym almost you know, weekly. And my daughters have their own independent relationships with him and now with his wife. My little girl, my 14 year old daughter just adores Jeffrey’s wife. And they’re developing their own friendship. You know, they go out for tea together, just the two of them, and like, how beautiful is that? You know, like we’ve created all these new waves of love.

David Hirsch: In February, we aired four episodes, including one with Dave Jereb of Sydney, Australia, a physical therapist, co founder of Move About Therapies and author of the book Challenging the Story.

Dave Jareb: 10 seconds of getting down on your child’s level, being present, being connected can just be enough to shift that brain into a connected mindset that lights up the neurons across all front, back, top, bottom, left, right. 10 seconds of connection can ground a child. And I would love teachers to be doing that when they’re greeting that child at the beginning of the day, locking in getting down on their level and saying, hey, it’s good to see you. I think we’re gonna have a great day. If things get a bit tricky, I’m wearing an orange shirt today. You’ll be able to find me. Just reach out and I’ll help.

David Hirsch: We also did two episodes with filmmaker Bob Manganelli, who, 23 year old deaf son, tragically committed suicide while at Gallaudet University back in 2014.

Bob Manganelli: So I went over to dinner and I walked in and I saw JFK, Marilyn Monroe, Clark Gable. And I was like, oh, this guy must be a photo collector. I said, what a great collection of photos. He said, well, they’re mine. Oh, okay. So we’re at dinner and he told me all these stories about JFK and fascinating stories at the end. I said, well, you know, I’m really grateful I’m here, but how do I fit into all this? He says, well, he says, I went and I saw your exhibit and he says, I said, who is this Manganelli guy? And nobody knew who you were. And I said, how could these photographs be in D.C. and nobody knows

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Joe Manganelli: who he is. He must be struggling. I said, well, that I am. And he pulled out keys and he laid them on the table. He said, these are the keys to my darkroom and studio. You have free use of the facilities. I don’t use them anymore. From what I gather from some of the fathers that I’ve seen through your work, they all seem like a pretty sensitive bunch and they all seem pretty loving and extraordinarily almost herculean connection to their child. And you know, that’s disability or no disability, it’s all about our love, isn’t it?

David Hirsch: In March, we produced five episodes, including a two episode interview with Keith Harris of Albuquerque, New Mexico, who is a retired business owner and father of four, including son Tim, who has down syndrome.

Keith Harris: Reflecting on how Tim does this thing called life, how he shows up on the planet in his interviews, Tim always says, I’m trying to be more like my dad. And I am completely 180 on that. I’m completely trying to figure out still in my life how I can be more like him. One of my aspirational goals.

David Hirsch: He and Tim opened and operated the restaurant Tim’s Place for five years. Tim also went on to author the Book of Hugs, a children’s book. In April, we aired four episodes, including one with Jonathan Bennett of Ontario, Canada, who is an executive leadership coach, author and father of two, including one with autism, who is also non binary.

Jonathan Bennett: The most important thing I can share with any other parent, I mean, and this would be a parent, especially of an autistic kid, is the people with the best advice are autistic adults, not scientists, not doctors, not OTs or PTs or speech language pathologists or anybody else. If you really want to understand what is happening in the mind of your kid, listen to autistic adults.

David Hirsch: In May, we did six episodes, including one with Dr. Greg Pursley of Jackson, Missouri, who is a, chiropractor, owner of PC Medical Centers, and author and father of two, including a son who has dwarfism.

Greg Pursley: We were in the basically lobby area of Children’s Hospital and they over the intercom at like three in the morning, you know, call Greg and Sherry, which is not a good sign. So we wake up and we’re like, what? And so we please report to whatever. And they take us to the grieving room. They let us know what has happened and they’re working on him and they. The lady slides a grieving book across the table and I’ll never forget my wife slaps that book and slides it back at her and goes, we will not be needing this today. Oh my God, it was so certain. Like she just like I believed her. She knew.

David Hirsch: We also interviewed John Borling of Rockford, Illinois, who was a retired major general in the US Air Force. John was a combat pilot in Vietnam who flew 97 missions before being shot down and held hostage for six years, eight months at the infamous Hanoi Hilton.

John Borling: The Texans wanted to do Something small for you. So they had this party in the Cotton Bowl. I remember talking to the governor of Texas. I said, look, this is going to be low key. Son, this is about as low key as we Texans get. And, you know, Nixon did the big party at the White House in May of 73 where they gave us the run of the place.

David Hirsch: And we interviewed Jon Ghahate, a Pueblo Indian from Placitas, New Mexico, who was a Vietnam era veteran and father of three, including a daughter who was sight impaired.

Jon Ghahate: In Illinois or Native Americans in Florida. You’re going to see these Seminoles or Muscogee’s or whatever. But that’s not the name in their language that they would call themselves unless we speak English. If I say I come from the Pueblos of Laguna and Suny, well, those names are given by the Spanish, but we already have a, names that we identify in the languages we speak.

David Hirsch: Are you telling me that the Illinois were not the names that you would refer to yourself as the – I know there’s no Illinois Illini. That was not the original name. That’s what you’re saying?

Jon Ghahate: Right, right.

David Hirsch: Okay. This is going to be for the Native, American 102 class or the Native American 201 class.

Jon Ghahate: Sign up for credit.

David Hirsch: Okay.

David Hirsch: In June, we produced eight episodes, including four SFN Mastermind Group Monday interviews with testimonials about their Mastermind Group experiences. One was with John Shouse, of Franklin, Tennessee, an industrial control engineer and father of three, including twin boys, one of which, Evan is autistic.

John Shouse: This is an investment in becoming a better father, becoming a better spouse and becoming a better man. And if that’s not worth at least $50 even in a tight budget, I don’t know what is.

David Hirsch: John and his wife Janet have been leaders in the disability community throughout Tennessee. And John has been involved with the Tuesday night Mastermind group for

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nearly three years. We also interviewed Paul Briggs of, Falling Waters, West Virginia, who was the father of 38. No, this was not a typographical error or some misstatement. Paul and his wife Jeanine have six biological kids and 32 adopted children, including 13 from Ghana, 10 from Ukraine, six from Russia, two from Bulgaria and one from Mexico.

Paul Briggs: So we ended up doing the 10 adoptions from Ukraine and things wound down there. We did the two from Bulgaria and then we ended up doing our last 13 out of, Ghana.

David Hirsch: In July, we did nine episodes, including five mastermind group Monday interviews. We also interviewed Kelley Coleman of Los Angeles, California, a mother of two, a disability Advocate and author of Everything No One Tells You About Parenting a Disabled Child, your guide to essential systems services and supports.

Kelley Coleman: He is this magnetic, vibrant, hilarious human and this is his world. And the rest of us are all just living in it.

David Hirsch: So we’re going to call this Aaron’s world.

Kelley Coleman: Oh my gosh, this is Aaron’s world.

David Hirsch: We also interviewed Sam Farmer of Northeast Massachusetts who was the father of a son with autism and later in life was also diagnosed himself with Asperger’s. Sam is also the author of A Long and Winding Road and has become one of the more well respected self advocates in the autism community.

Sam Farmer: You’re good the way you are. Your autism you can look at as a way of being not something that has to be fixed or cured. And that, that to me is a more healthy outlook on things that ideally more neurodivergent individuals would adopt that point of view.

David Hirsch: We also interviewed Al Malavolti of Rockford, Illinois in a two part interview. Al is a retired aerospace executive and he and his wife Rosemary have 22 children, including four biological kids and 17 adopted kids and one they parented.

Al Malavolti: Up to that point, like I said, I had always given ascent up here to adoption, but I was always scared to death that one of these adoptions would finally go through and I’d have an extra responsibility which I didn’t know how I would handle. I didn’t know how I’d take care of it financially, physically, spiritually. And here I am saying yes to eight, eight children.

David Hirsch: In August we aired nine episodes including four mastermind group Monday episodes including one with Tom Costello of Frankfort, Illinois who’s the father of twin 21 year old boys who are both autistic. Tom and his wife Irene created the Twin Autism foundation and have been outspoken advocates for those diagnosed with ASD.

Tom Costello: This is an opportunity to speak with other like-minded fathers and share thoughts, ideas and be vulnerable. You know, for the whole year that I did it, it was an opportunity for all of us to get together to share, speak our minds and I found that really rewarding.

David Hirsch: We also interviewed Alvin Green of Chicago, who’s a retired chef. Alvin and his wife Angela Ferguson have two boys, including Aiden, who is autistic. To provide Aiden with some career skills and to support himself. Alvin founded Al’s Cookie Mixx, that’s M I X X, a premium online cookie business that employs individuals who have intellectual disabilities.

David Hirsch: So why is it that you’ve agreed to be a mentor father as part of the Special Fathers Network?

Alvin Green: Because they’re our kids, simple as that. I mean, they’re all our kids, so they’re family. You have to do it.

David Hirsch: In September, we produced nine episodes, including five Mastermind Group Monday episodes and one with Agust Kristmanns of Reykjavik, Iceland, who’s the father of three, including son Ingenious, who has 2Q37 deletion syndrome, a rare chromosome condition that affects his development.

Agust Kristmanns: It was like walking into a family reunion or family, you know, gathering, you know. You felt all the love and respect from all of the guys and just, it was so nice to be able to listen to all the, all of the guys and get inspired and some, of the guys are just amazing, amazing people.

David Hirsch: We also interviewed Jonathan Polin, who’s an Israeli American. Jonathan and his wife Rachel Goldberg-Pollin became some of the most outspoken advocates speaking out about the urgency behind releasing the Israelis being held hostage by Hamas. They met with the Pope at the Vatican, they met with President Biden at the White House. They spoke at the United Nations in Geneva and at the Democratic National Convention in Chicago. I interviewed Jonathan on day 328 of their son Hersh’s captivity. And very sadly, just days

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later, we learned Hamas murdered six of the hostages, including Hersh.

Jonathan Polin: We have gotten such an outpouring of love and strength and support and prayers from literally people all over the world every day for 328 days. We get messages from people on every continent and we know that we’re not alone in this mission. I mentioned earlier that I grew up playing sports. There’s something about this mission where now every day that group passes, we have more and more people supporting us and it feels like if we don’t get up every morning and spring out of bed to hit the day and do everything we can for these hostages, not only are we failing ourselves in Hersh, but we’re letting our team down.

David Hirsch: In October, we aired five episodes, including one with Dr. Ruslan Vasyutin, who is a single Ukrainian father to a 12 year old daughter, Alicia, who has cerebral palsy and unable to walk or talk. They are currently living in Solihull, England, after fleeing Kiev in February of 2022 after the Russian invasion of Ukraine.

Ruslan Vasyutin: You share, you give something, but at the same time you get a lot of support. Emotional, intellectual, whatever support. So after being father in center, you feel not only excited, but filled with new ideas, with new solutions, with, self confidence.

David Hirsch: We also interviewed Andrew Bustamante of Colorado Springs, Colorado, who is the father of two young children. Andrew and his wife Jihee are both ex CIA undercover intelligence officers and hosts of the Everyday Spy podcast. It was a fascinating conversation about utilizing CIA tactics to overcome adversity.

Andrew Bustamante: And my father in law actually turned out to be a very good father figure. He was a great father figure to my wife and to her sister, and one of the most warm and open fathers and fatherly types that I’ve ever met. So I have had an experience with a loving father and I’ve had an experience for my children with a loving grandfather. Right. It just I happen to marry into that family, which is something that not many other fathers, I think, get a similar experience.

David Hirsch: In November, we produced five episodes, including one with fellow podcast daughter father team Renee Friedman Watts and her father Wayne, who produced the Better Call Daddy podcast.

Renee Friedman Watts: The impetus for creating that is it’s my real life. I turn to my dad all the time, pretty much every day, whether we’re recording or not.

Wayne Friedman: I’m doing a little podcast with my daughter. I’m figuring out a way of staying pretty busy, and, I can learn a lot of things now.

David Hirsch: We also interviewed Todd Evans of Brentwood, Tennessee, who’s an entrepreneur. He and his wife Kristen, have two children with disability and are co authors of, how to Build a Thriving Marriage as You Care for Children With Disabilities.

Todd Evans: Couples that have a child with special needs, that choose to stick it out to, choose to contribute to their marriage, have some of the most satisfying marriages out there. They grow and they’re closer than typical marriages often are. And it can be very, very rewarding. And you almost don’t think that you think of it. Are we just going to be partners that are trying to get through this life together as caregivers? Are we going to be intentional and rediscover what it means to be lovers and partners together in the midst of it all?

David Hirsch: And in December, we did four episodes, including one with U.S. navy SEAL Phillip Koontz, who’s a business owner, leadership coach and speaker, father of five, including an autistic son and author of the book the Truth Behind My Trident, which provides a fascinating look behind the curtain of life as a Navy seal.

Phillip Koontz: You know, it’s easy in our day and age if there’s a child who is quote, unquote misbehaving, or if they’re not doing exactly what you would like for them to do. It’s easy to be punitive. It’s easy to yell at them or to get on them, to talk down to them, to issue consequences. But focusing on good behavior and rewarding good behavior has been really important for us as well too. And so really trying to focus on the strengths, his strengths, rather than just the times that he’s messing up and falling short of our expectations.

David Hirsch: We also interviewed Emma Livingstone of London, England, who is the mother of three typical kids who herself has cerebral palsy and is founder and CEO of Up The adult movement for adults with cerebral palsy.

Emma Livingstone: Have high expectations, give lots of love and support in the same way as you’d give to every other child, be where that child is and, walk the path with them. Each time somebody doesn’t reach a milestone, it’s difficult and understand that, you know, give yourself compassion for that. But

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you have to walk the path of the child that you have in front of you.

David Hirsch: All in all, 2024 was an extraordinary year for the 21st Century Dads foundation and Special Fathers Network. I want to offer my heartfelt thanks to Tom Couch, our SFN Dad to Dad Podcast editor and producer and my partner in crime. To our primary sponsor, Horizon Therapeutics, for the ongoing and generous support. To all those who agreed to do interviews this past year, some of which were included here, and perhaps most importantly of all, you, our valued listeners, for tuning in week after week and sharing episodes with family and friends. For more information, please go to show notes or visit 21stcenturydads.org. Thank you again and best wishes to you and your family for a safe and healthy new year.

Tom Couch: Thanks again to Horizon Therapeutics who believe that science and compassion must work together to transform lives. That’s why they work tirelessly to research, develop and bring forward medicines for people living with rare and rheumatic diseases. Discover more about Horizon Therapeutics at horizontherapeutics.com.

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