300 – David Hirsch, Founder Of 21st Century Dads Foundation & Host Of The SFN Dad To Dad Podcast Reflects On The Past 7 Years

Transcript:

David Hirsch: [00:00:00] Hi, I’m David Hirsch, founder of the 21st Century Dads Foundation and Special Fathers Network, as well as host of the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast. We thought we’d do something special to celebrate episode number 300 and provide a brief history about the 21st Century Dads Foundation, the Special Fathers Network, and some of the remarkable individuals who have helped create these extraordinary resources. As a volunteer-led organization and on behalf of the families we serve, it’s my pleasure to provide you with a brief overview and some highlights from the past seven years.

David Hirsch: As you may know, my journey as a fatherhood advocate occurred shortly after Peggy and I had our fifth child back in 1996. While looking for fatherhood resources, I became aware of the fact that there are an estimated 20 million+ US youth growing up in father absent homes. That equates to about four out of every ten. There are also way too many single moms pulling double duty, doing the best job they can providing and raising for their children, in some cases with very little support or no support from the children’s [00:01:00] fathers. I also learned that children from father absent homes are more likely to have lower graduation rates, be involved with crime and incarceration, fall victim to drug and alcohol abuse, and be subject to teen pregnancy and suicide.

David Hirsch: Motivated to do something, I helped create the Illinois Fatherhood Initiative, one of the country’s first statewide, not for profit fatherhood organizations. IFI’s mission is to actively engage fathers in the education of children. We learned that if you could only do one thing, it would be to get the dads more actively involved in their children’s education.

David Hirsch: IFI’s signature program has been the annual Fatherhood Essay Program. Since 1997, IFI has collected more than 425,000 essays written by kindergarten through 12th grade students to the theme, “What My Father Means to Me.” There have typically been three celebrations a year based on the essays: one for the essayists, another for the dads, and a third for the educators and volunteer readers. The very first year, IFI collected [00:02:00] 30,000 essays, engaged 400 volunteer readers, published an essay booklet featuring two dozen of the essays, did an on-field announcement for the Fathers of the Year at Wrigley Field, and I had the privilege of appearing on the Oprah Winfrey Show.

Oprah: This is David Hirsch, founder of the Illinois Fatherhood Initiative.

Oprah: See, I think fathers don’t know. I’ve done lots of shows about deadbeat dads and all those reunion shows. The message over and over again from the men, I think they don’t realize the void and the hole that they leave.

David Hirsch: Children benefit dramatically from the involvement of a positive male adult, and that’s the message we want to get through. And whether that’s a dad, a stepdad, a granddad, an uncle, it’s just men being involved in children’s lives, your own children, as well as reaching out to those that are really in desperate need.

David Hirsch: About eight years ago, I felt a calling to do something on a larger scale, which led to the creation of the 21st Century Dads Foundation. Our original vision was to engage a wide range of fatherhood programs from around the US and combine our efforts [00:03:00] to raise a greater level of awareness and resources to address this fatherhood epidemic.

David Hirsch: We launched the 21st Century Dads Foundation with what became known as the Dads Honor Ride 2015, a cross-country bicycle ride from Santa Monica, California to Chicago, Illinois from June 1st to June 21st. I rode the entire 2,325 miles over 21 days, averaging 112 miles a day, and accompanied 4, 1, 2 or 3 days by nine other riders arriving on Father’s Day at US Cellular Field to a crowd of 40,000 Chicago White Sox baseball fans. It was a transformative experience. We raised over $100,000 and did plenty of TV, radio and print media.

WGN reporter: 24 million kids across America are growing up without dads. David Hirsch wants to change that. So he rode from Santa Monica to Chicago to support local charities that help dads become more active in their kids’ lives.

David Hirsch: The purpose for the ride is to honor dads, to raise awareness for the local charities, [00:04:00] fatherhood charities along the way, and to raise some resources for those charities.

WGN reporter: So he rode and rode and rode some more.

David Hirsch: That led to me delivering a TEDx talk entitled, “Why We Need to Break the Cycle of Father Absence,” which has now been viewed more than 35,000 times.

David Hirsch: “It’s my hope that the enduring legacy of our generation will be that we recognize the impact of father absence and we took the time to do something about it. Thank you.”

David Hirsch: 2016 included publishing the book entitled, A Father’s Journey to Break the Cycle of Father Absence, and planning and executing Dads Honor Ride 2016, a 21-day, 1,400-mile bicycle ride from Boston to Chicago. Nick Topicha-Dolny and I rode all 1,400 miles, and there were 35 other riders who also rode from one to seven days. We arrived again on Father’s Day at Wrigley Field for another memorable celebration.

David Hirsch: 2017 was a busy year. We did another Dads Honor ride around Lake Michigan, which started and [00:05:00] ended in Evanston, Illinois, covering 958 miles in nine days. Nick and I did the whole ride and there were 10 other riders who rode part of the way. We also pioneered the idea of doing indoor riding events known as “The Cycle to End Father Absence” where anywhere from 10 to 35 riders would spin on stationary bikes. We did 7 of them, including Burr Ridge, Illinois; Evanston, Illinois; Oak Park, Illinois; Mequon, Wisconsin; Hoboken, New Jersey; Chicago, and Denver.

David Hirsch: It took 3 Dads Honor Rides to realize we were not able to engage the other fatherhood organizations. Instead of closing the 21st Century Dads Foundation, we did some research with the objective of narrowing our focus. That boiled down to working with dads in high poverty areas, working with incarcerated dads, working with teen fathers, and/or working with dads raising children with special needs. We decided to focus on the latter two categories, and that marked the beginning of the Special [00:06:00] Fathers Network. Four years of experience raising children with special needs and match them with dads whose children were more recently diagnosed.

David Hirsch: Here’s a funny backstory. About the same time someone asked me, “Hey Hirsch, what do you think about podcasts?” I said, “I like listening to podcasts. Some are entertaining, some are educational, others are inspiring.” The person said, “No, not what do you think about listening to podcasts? What do you think about hosting a podcast?” I said, “That’s pretty comical. I have no experience with radio, interviewing, editing, or production. Plus, I have a number sticky brain. Remember, I manage investments.” He said, “You’d be good at it. Give it some thought.” Those were the seeds that quickly germinated into reaching out to a handful of friends raising children with special needs, who all said, “Sure, I’d be willing to share my story.” In chronological order, they are: Tony Oommen, Randy Lewis, Skip Gianopulos, Jim Elliott, Joe Mantegna and Paul Gianni.

Tony Oommen: I remember like it was yesterday when this all started [00:07:00] to happen. I’d taken the kids to go drive somewhere to buy my wife flowers for Valentine’s Day. And we were pulling back into our house. My son is six, he’s still in a car seat. He had fallen asleep and I’m taking him out of his car seat and he goes into having a seizure and I’d never seen one before and it scared me to death. And then he was non-responsive after that.

Randy Lewis: Always let my kids know I love them. “Austin, do you know how much I love you?” That’s a tough question for him, but he always has interesting answers. His most interesting one is, “All day long.” And Kay and I thought that’s a good enough answer. We’ll go with that.

Skip Gianopulos: Particularly with Down syndrome, there’s no predisposition to having a second child with Down syndrome once you have your first. Literally, it is like lightning striking twice. In fact I thought a little bit about buying lottery tickets after that.

Joe Mantegna: People say to me, “What’s it like to have a daughter with autism?” I say, “I don’t know what it’s like not to.” I can’t explain that. It’s a tough question. It is what it is.

David Hirsch: That’s our guest today. He starred on Broadway, in the movies and on television. Joe Mantegna.

Mia Mantegna: Joe Mantegna is more than just a movie and television actor. He is [00:08:00] a special person helping special people with autism. And I’m the luckiest reporter on earth because he’s my dad!

David Hirsch: That’s Mia Mantegna from a video interview.

Mia Mantegna: What is your proudest achievement in dealing with autism?

Joe Mantegna: Today is certainly one of them. This one’s going to come right up there. The fact that I can sit here and be interviewed by you and be part of this Inclusion News interview is a very proud moment for me.

Paul Gianni: As soon as you have someone with special needs, it’s amazing how you start seeing the individuals with special needs.

David Hirsch: The primary objective of the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast has been to shine a bright light on the positive ways dads are addressing the challenges associated with disability and helping their children reach their full God-given potential.

David Hirsch: In 2018, we produced 35 podcasts with a wide range of dads, stepdads, granddads, and father figures from across the US who included actors, a garbage collector, a fire chief, a nonprofit leader, car dealers, radio personalities, a rabbi and pastors, [00:09:00] educators and authors, as well as first sibling interview.

Dan Marquardt: The joy and the happiness each of these kids bring us every day is a gift beyond words.

David Friedman: We committed that we were going to be a family and that we were going to include my son in everything we did.

Dan McNeil: He regards me as his best friend.

David Hirsch: That’s pretty powerful.

Dan McNeil: And that’s been the greatest joy of my life for the last 15 years.

Bradley Shavit Artson: I tell people that one of the blessings of having a son with autism I’m the only dad I know who’s 25 year old will give him a full body hug.

Rooster Rossiter: So every person that’s part of our effort is called an angel. The idea is that everyone’s Ainsley’s Angels.

Kris Kazian: I fell into this fire service career. I’ve always believed in helping people. It was somewhere in programmed in my DNA that you got to give back to people.

Adam Levy: In spite of all the nightmares that were in the beginning of our story, we feel so lucky to be where we are.

Kris Kazian: This was my therapy after Lexi died was to put together this nonprofit and to make a difference, improving the comfort and quality of life for [00:10:00] children with special needs.

Scott Sowers: And the theme of my movie, we all have needs. Whatever it is, diabetes, sickness, we all have needs, but some are more special than others.

Tom Landis: We wanted to create a very good ice cream shop that happens to employ people with special needs, but it’s got to be good ice cream.

Gene Andrasco: Since 2010, we funded over $2 million in research.

Shanne Sowards: If you put the best interest of your child first, you’re never wrong.

John Cronin: It’s a simple idea. The more you do for others, the better off we are.

Lee Jorwick: People need to see and feel that there’s some hope in their journey with autism.

Rob Gorski: There’s challenges, there’s going to be hardships. There’s going to be an infinite amount of sacrifice that you’re going to have to make, but the rewards are so profound.

Clayton Frech: We hear stories all the time, people coming out of the hospitals and being told they’ll never do sports again, or they’ll never walk again, and they’re just wrong.

Brian Page: I thought back to what the doctor had said: “Mr. Page, he’s never going to walk.” This kid is running a race, and he won the race!

David Hirsch: The diagnoses included [00:11:00] autism, Down syndrome, cerebral palsy, rare disease, paraplegia, no legs, no arms and no legs. We also conducted 5 Cycle to End Father Absence events, including Los Angeles, California; Portland, Oregon; Atlanta, Georgia; Kildeer, Illinois; and Dallas, Texas. We also created the Ryan M. Hanson Memorial Internship in honor of Ryan Hanson, who was a 21st Century Dads volunteer, who very sadly died of natural causes shortly before his 19th birthday.

David Hirsch: In 2019, we produced 48 podcasts, including our first international interviews with Kelly Moynihan in Canada…

Kelly Moynihan: The other thing about having a mentally disabled individual in your family, they bring you down to earth every now and then. Our daughter enjoys the simple things in life. To watch her have an ice cream cone and see how much she enjoys that or to finish a puzzle and to see her joy in being successful in doing that. Those quite minor things that she enjoys [00:12:00] so much really bring you down to that basic level of satisfaction and enjoyment.

David Hirsch: …and Dr. Shane Sondergeld in Australia…

Shane Sondergeld: Having a child with a disability is not a negative. There is just so much wonder.

David Hirsch: …as well as our first female interview with Becky Davidson of Cookville, Tennessee.

Becky Davidson: “I’m not the dad that I thought that I was going to be. I’m not going to play ball in the backyard. I’m not going to go to games with my son. But I’m the dad that God wanted me to be. I’m turning into that dad.” And that is one of my most favorite quotes from Jeff. For people who didn’t know him, that’s the essence of who he was. I mean he, when he started realizing, you know what? My life is gonna look completely different and I’m gonna embrace the dad that God actually created me to be.

David Hirsch: Becky is the co-founder of Rising Above Ministries with her late husband, Jeff, and author of the book, Common Man, Extraordinary Call, which Jeff started before he passed away and Becky finished. Some of the additional 2019 podcast highlights included Dick Hoyt, episode number 13, perhaps one of the most [00:13:00] iconic dads I’ve ever met. For those that don’t recognize the name, he’s the one who pushed his son, Ricky, in 34 Boston marathons. In total, they did more than 1,200 races, including 100 marathons and six Ironman triathlons.

David Hirsch: Hi, I’m David Hirsch, and this is a Special Fathers Network podcast, stories of fathers helping fathers. I’m thrilled to bring you our guest today, the legendary Dick Hoyt.

Dick Hoyt: Rick is the athlete and I’m just out there loaning him my arms and my legs.

David Hirsch: Dick’s oldest son, Rick, was born as a spastic quadriplegic with cerebral palsy, unable to walk or talk. In 1977, with the help of a special computer device, Rick told his dad he wanted to participate in a five-mile benefit run for a young paralyzed lacrosse player. Dick, who was not a runner, pushed Rick in his wheelchair the entire five miles, coming in next to last. That night, Rick, using his computer, said:

Dick Hoyt: “He said, Dad, when I’m out running, it feels like my disability disappears,” which was very powerful.

David Hirsch: That was just the beginning. [00:14:00] Since then, they’ve done over 1200 races, including 32 Boston marathons and six Ironman triathlons all around the world.

Dick Hoyt: Our message is, yes you can. You can do anything you want to do. As long as you make up your mind, you can do it.

David Hirsch: Dick and Rick had been an inspiration to people all across the country and around the world, and Dick is here with us today to tell his story on the Special Fathers Network podcast.

Dick Hoyt: It was Rick that got us into running and I wouldn’t be running today if Rick didn’t ask me to.

Dick Hoyt: Singing: I can only imagine…

David Hirsch: Rick Daynes, father of five including three with special needs, and author of Keep It Together Man.

Rick Daynes: He saw that and he ran over there and he got this trophy and I’m telling you, all of the garbage that we’ve gone through, all of the things that we tried to get him involved in, all the times that we took him out of the house to take a walk or go to the beach in hopes that something will click, all of that became validated because he stood there on [00:15:00] the podium with his trophy and I looked at my wife and she’s just bawling, tears are flowing. It was maybe the happiest moment that we’d had in years.

David Hirsch: Stephen Duffley, father of five including adopted blind and autistic son Christopher, who is a Christian singing phenom.

David Hirsch: Christopher Duffley was born in May of 2001. He was totally blind.

Steve Duffley: We didn’t get the autism diagnosis till he was like four and a half, five years old. He sang that fall, Open the Eyes of My Heart, at a statewide night of worship. All the Boston news crews, ABC, NBC, Fox, they were all at our doorstep. We had to pull Christopher out of public school that day and bring him home. And they did interviews from that afternoon to nine o’clock at night. It really moves people’s hearts because they get out of their self and they realize if this little boy can get through all these struggles, my struggles are nowhere near his, and he can still have joy in his heart.

David Hirsch: Bob Mendez, father of three including [00:16:00] son Robert who was born without arms or legs, who has gone on to become a beloved and inspirational high school varsity football coach.

Robert Menendez: At this time, I just want to introduce to you somebody that I think can really help turn this program around. A coach that I hired because I was impressed with his knowledge of the game. His passion as a coach blew me away. Your new coach, Rob Menendez.

Wayne Messmer: Today, we’re going to hear the story of a boy who was born with no arms or legs. And who went on to become an inspiring and successful high school football coach.

Bob Menedez: In the back of my mind I’m asking why my son? Less than 100 born like him in the world. What am I going to do with this boy?

David Hirsch: Jose Velasco, father of two, who were both autistic and founder of the SAP Autism at Work program.

Jose Velasco: Every day they gave us something new and something inspiring and something wonderful, because we can look at things like autism in a negative light. To be honest, there’s so many wonderful blessings associated with that because they are different and different in a way that our kids transformed the way that we were.

David Hirsch: Brian and [00:17:00] Alan Lynch, Vietnam veteran, Medal of Honor recipient, and grandfather of a child with a rare disease.

Brian Lynch: We did have to have hip surgery in January where her hip was immobilized for six, seven weeks. The atrophy that happens when you literally can’t move your lower body is amazing, but she’s walking. And dare I say it, she’s running and chasing my dog around the house like she always has. And while there’s a noticeable limp, she overcomes everything that we put in front of her. And she’s a great kid. And my wife and I were actually just remarking to one another the other day about how happy she is. She’s an extremely happy kid, despite everything.

David Hirsch: John Crawley, father of three with special needs, who literally found a cure for Pompe disease that saved two of his children’s lives, subsequently told in the best selling book entitled The Cure, which Harrison Ford optioned and starred in the movie Extraordinary Measures. John was played by Brandon Frazier. John also went on to found Amicus Therapeutics, a publicly traded biotech specializing in rare disease.

John Crowley: [00:18:00] And to see all the leaders of our country, Supreme Court justices, military leaders, every member of the House and the Senate, the Vice President, to stand twice and to give your daughter a standing ovation.

Donald Trump: An incredible young woman is with us this evening who should serve as an inspiration to us all. Today is Rare Disease Day. And joining us in the gallery is a rare disease survivor, Megan Crowley. Megan was diagnosed with Pompe disease, a rare and serious illness, when she was 15 months old. She was not expected to live past five. On receiving this news, Megan’s dad, John, fought with everything he had to save the life of his precious child. He founded a company to look for a cure and help develop the drug that saved Megan’s life. Today, she is 20 years old and a sophomore at Notre Dame. Megan’s story is about the unbounded power of a father’s love for a daughter.

John Crowley: To look out and to see Bernie Sanders and Nancy [00:19:00] Pelosi standing and applauding. And to see Paul Ryan and John McCain, whoever was there, stand on both sides of the aisle. I think that was one small good moment maybe for America and it led to some really good reforms and good leaders continuing to do their work at FDA and help highlight what are rare diseases and the number of people who have them.

David Hirsch: In 2019, we also held our first Special Fathers Network Podcast Dads Conference, complete with live performance of the National Anthem by Wayne Messmer, Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast Dad number 56.

Tom Couch: You know the voice. He’s Wayne Messmer, and he’s sung the National Anthem for years for every sports team in Chicago. He’s been on TV, the radio, on the stage, on the screen, and then it all stopped.

Wayne Messmer: As I hit the gas to pull out, boom, he pulls the trigger. Nine millimeter shot point blank in the neck. What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do?

Tom Couch: But through grit and determination, he [00:20:00] came back. He came back to sing, and he came back to be with his family, including his granddaughter, Jamie, who has special needs. And in this Dad to Dad Podcast, Wayne Messmer tells his story to host David Hirsch.

David Hirsch: I know that most people know you as a singer. There’s a great history of broadcasting. But whenever I mention Wayne Mesmer’s name, people are like…

Wayne Messmer: Oh, National Anthem guy.

David Hirsch: Exactly.

Wayne Messmer: [singing] Oh say, can you see, by the dawn’s early light… [fade out]

David Hirsch: 2020 was a pivotal year for the Special Fathers Network. In addition to producing 52 podcasts, we also created a series of 24 biweekly Zoom calls on 24 topics the dads told us were the most important to them. Popular topics included estate planning, marriage and respite, self care, siblings and family balance, to name a few. 2020 marked the year 21st Century Dads Foundation, like so many other organizations, was forced to pivot from conducting in-person to virtual [00:21:00] conferences. We had hoped to get 80 dads in-person and instead got more than 200 from 30 states and six countries, including Canada, England, Iceland, Kenya, and Japan. Some of the 2020 podcast highlights included Jarrell Roach, father of four, including two with autism, Army Reservist, and comedian.

Jarell Roach: My philosophy is really everybody should be mentoring somebody. Everyone. Everyone. Realize there is a child behind the special needs. There is a child in there that needs to be raised up and they need to be loved. They did not ask to come into this world and we need to raise them and give them the best shot. Like you said, creating a longer runway for them. That has inspired us to just want to do more for them and for others as well.

David Hirsch: Miguel Cervantes, Chicago star of Hamilton, father of two, including a daughter with infantile epilepsy who very sadly passed away at age three.

Miguel Cervantes: I am making my Broadway [00:22:00] debut as Alexander Hamilton at the same time we were finding out that my daughter’s in really bad shape. So you can understand, I call it a lot of times where I’m holding onto a comet in one hand and a parachute in the other with two sort of forces going against each other. And that’s how we came to Chicago. That’s how my Hamilton life began was under unbelievable amount of stress for my family and the excitement of doing this amazing job.

Miguel Cervantes: If you could choose to not have a suffering child, family member, you, I feel like most of us would choose to not have that. And so if I could go back and give it all away, give up Hamilton, give up everything to have a healthy daughter, I would do it. And it’s her in a heartbeat. She’ll have a little legacy that we’re going to leave behind and she’ll always have a place in this fight, even though she’s not here anymore.

David Hirsch: Yeah, that’s fabulous. I also noticed that you created an original song entitled Till the Calm Comes, with all the proceeds going to support Cure as well.

David Hirsch: [singing] I’ll be here, with my sword and my cape, I’ll fight off these fears, and before it’s too late, I’ll make them disappear [fade out]

David Hirsch: [00:23:00] Doron Almog, retired Major General in the Israel Defense Force, founder of Aleh-Negev, the father of three, including son, Eran, who was autistic and nonverbal, who sadly passed away at age 32.

Tom Couch: Doron Almog, retired Major General, Israel Defense Forces. Doron is a truly heroic figure in his native Israel. During his 34 year military career, he was involved in dozens of high level missions, including the legendary rescue of 105 Air France hostages from the Entebbe, Uganda airport in 1976.

Tom Couch: Doron and his wife, Didi, have been married 42 years and are the proud parents of three children: oldest daughter Nitzan, 41; youngest child, daughter Shoham, born in 1991, who very sadly died at age one month from a heart condition; and middle brother Eran, who had autism and also passed away at age [00:24:00] 23 in 2007.

Doron Almog: Our second child was born 1984.

Tom Couch: This is Doron Almog from his TED Talk.

Doron Almog: At the age of eight months, Didi my wife and me were told by the psychologist, “Your son is having a combination of autism and retardation. Probably he will never speak. Probably he will mentally stay child forever.” That was a shock.

Tom Couch: Upon retiring from the military, and with the belief that all people no matter their abilities be treated with love and respect, Doron led the creation of Aleh-Negev, a $50 million state of the art rehabilitation village with 150 residents. Most remarkably, Aleh-Negev is staffed by and serves Jews, Muslims, and Christians.

Doron Almog: Aleh-Negev Nahalat Eran is a village specially built for population of people with special needs. People like our son, Eran, who passed away and as a matter of fact, was the greatest [00:25:00] professor of my life.

David Hirsch: As of the beginning of 2021, we had produced 130 podcast episodes making it increasingly difficult for listeners to find the episodes of most interest. So we decided to start the SFN Dad to Dad audio book series. The first audible book was on autism featuring the first 12 autism interviews with a forward by Joe Mantegna.

David Hirsch: We also produced another very successful SFN Dads Virtual Conference attracting more than 200 attendees from 10 countries. We also created the Special Fathers Network MasterMind Group with like-minded dads meeting on a weekly basis, Wednesday nights.

David Hirsch: I’m wondering if you can share what the most impactful aspect of your Special Fathers Network MasterMind experience has been.

Dick Hoyt: The most meaningful experience I’ve had is the privilege to find like-minded men, like-minded fathers.

John Felageller: For me, it’s really been the relationships we’ve built here, the [00:26:00] intentional relationships and friendships. We texted each other during the week, sometimes we did calls or emails or whatever it was, but if we had something going on, we were present, we were helpful, and we were there and ready to support.

David Hirsch: And held the first Special Fathers Network MasterMind Group Weekend Retreat in Nashville, Tennessee. Some of the 2021 podcast highlights included Warren Rustand, father of six, including one with autism, as well as author of the book, Leader Within Us.

Warren Rustand: I was hanging around with some really interesting people: Dick Cheney, Don Rumsfeld, Colin Powell, Bob Gates, Brent Scowcroft, Henry Kissinger. That was the inside team.

David Hirsch: Ruslan Vasyutin, the Ukrainian dad who has a young daughter with cerebral palsy.

Ruslan Vasyutin: Another challenge was, a great challenge, was to feel comfortable taking my child with me on public. Not being ashamed, not hiding the eyes. But to be proud, to smile, to talk to other people, to involve [00:27:00] my daughter in communication. I’m ready to share it with others because it’s a big challenge, a big problem for our parents in Ukraine.

David Hirsch: Jim Stovall, who went blind at 29, founder of the Narrative Television Network, author of 51 books, 8 of which have been made into major motion pictures.

Jim Stovall: One of the most powerful impacts in my life was a four year old kid that came into my life. for three years to teach me the unadulterated wisdom of the ages, which is quite simply, when it comes to that big dream, that calling, that thing in your life, the answer is always, yes, you can. The dream would not have been put there If you and I didn’t have the capacity to achieve it. So the question is never, can we? The question is, will we? And that is Christopher’s enduring legacy to me.

David Hirsch: DJ Joss, father of 21, including 14 who were adopted from six countries, including nine with special needs.

DJ Joss: Even little Mercy. I look at her, my first born special needs child. And I think, my goodness, she’s a hero. [00:28:00] She probably saved 10 lives because there’s 10 kids here – 9 or 11, I lose track – whatever it is. All those special needs kids are in my home now just because she was born, just because she exists. She was the one that got us over that hump to save all these other kids. If we’d never had her, those kids would still be in China and Taiwan now and probably a lot of them dead. She’s done more for more people than many of us will ever do. She’s an absolute hero.

David Hirsch: In 2022, we held another successful Special Fathers Network Dads Virtual Conference and produced two more audio books: one on Down syndrome with a forward by Mark Cronin, co-founder of John’s Crazy Socks; and a second on Rare Disease with a forward by John Crawley, founder of Amicus Therapeutics. We also created the second Special Fathers Network MasterMind Group with like-minded dads meeting weekly on Tuesday and held the second Special Fathers Network MasterMind Group weekend retreat in St. Louis, Missouri. Some of the 2022 podcast highlights included Kalman Samuels of [00:29:00] Jerusalem, a rabbi, co-founder of Shalva, father of seven, including son Yoshi, who went deaf and blind as a result of a bad batch of vaccines.

Kalman Samuels: This was put to me by my sister. When we first moved to New York, she was there for a conference and she said to me something very simple. She said, “Sit down, kid brother. The problem is not with your son. The problem is with you. You’re still dreaming he’s gonna be a ball player. He’s gonna play sports. You’re still dreaming he’s gonna be a rabbi. He’s not gonna play sports and he’s not gonna be a rabbi. But you’ve got to change the yardstick. Meaning, you have to measure his successes with his yardstick, not with yours, so that if he does whatever it might be on a seemingly small scale, for him that might be more than winning the gold medal in the 100 meters at the Olympics.”

David Hirsch: Eric Endlich, an autistic man, father of two including a son with autism, father and disabled Chicago police officer who was [00:30:00] catastrophically injured in the line of duty and has been a ventilator dependent quadriplegic.

Eric Endlich: I responded to a call of shots fired where an offender was firing out his back window at the passing el train. He was shooting at the trains going by. During that call, we tried to gain entry into his property. The offender opened the door. He had fired two shots and one struck me in the right cheek and I was a instant ventilator dependent quadriplegic.

David Hirsch: Bonner Paddock, the first person with cerebral palsy to climb Mount Kilimanjaro and complete the Ironman distance triathlon.

Bonner Paddock: Love your child for where they’re at. See the beauty in exactly where they are. That is a beautiful, special person there that’s gifted into your life. And it’s up to you to figure out what those gifts are each day and see the beauty in those, because there’s going to be great challenge. I know that. I understand the divorce rate is so much higher. I know there’s so many other challenges that [00:31:00] go on with raising a disabled child. But do your best to try to love yourself, and love your loved ones where they’re at.

David Hirsch: Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield, a licensed clinical therapist, who is known as The Dad Whisperer, host of The Dad Whisperer Podcast, and author of Let’s Talk: Conversation Starters for Dads and Daughters.

Michelle Watson Canfield: And every year my dad would take me to lunch and then to perfume day. Usually on the 24th of December, maybe the 23rd, we go to Nordstrom. Sometimes it was Macy’s, imagine a dad in the perfume section for an hour with perfume up and down my arm. And my dad is weighing in. I am not kidding you, David. One of my favorite days, it’s an annual holiday for me.

David Hirsch: In 2023, we held another successful Special Fathers Network Dads Virtual Conference and produced Audiobook number 4 on cerebral palsy with a forward by Mark Miller of Chick fil A and audiobook number 5 on Losing a Child with a forward by Rooster [00:32:00] Roster, co-founder of Ainsley’s Angels. Some of the 2023 podcast highlights included Dr. Temple Grandin, who is autistic, a professor at Colorado State University, author of three books, who was played by Claire Danes in the movie entitled Temple Grandin.

Temple Grandin: My name is Temple Grandin. I’m not like other people. I think in pictures and I connect them. But this is the problem. The verbal thinkers get locked into the label. You’re putting Elon Musk in the same category as an adult that’s non-verbal, that can’t dress themselves? You put the same name on it? That doesn’t make very much sense. She’s a visual thinker. I’m seeing.

David Hirsch: It’s one thing to see a person that has quirks or is on the spectrum and identify with that just from an observational standpoint.

Temple Grandin: Yes. Yeah.

David Hirsch: And what I thought was really creative is that the producers would cut from what the scene looked like, the actual scene, to what you were seeing. And it juxtaposed these…

Temple Grandin: Oh, and that’s where Mick Jackson really knew how to do that. [00:33:00]

David Hirsch: Tom Dreesen, a Korean War veteran, stand up comedian and author.

Tom Dreesen: And as we were running to the limo, getting the limo, she started screaming, “Mr. Sinatra, please! Mr. Sinatra, please!” And Frank got out of the limo and he went up to her and he said, “What is it, ma’am?” She said, “My husband is home sick. He’s terribly ill. If I could get an autograph from you, it would mean the world to him.” And Frank said, sure. And he signed the autograph. She said, “Oh, what beautiful cufflinks.” And they were very expensive cufflinks, over $1,000, I remember. So when he finished the autograph, he took the cufflinks off and he handed them to her and said, “Give these to your husband.” She said, “No, I don’t want them. I just was admiring them.” He said, “No, I want your husband to have them.”

David Hirsch: Jesse White, longtime Illinois Secretary of State, US army veteran and co-founder of the Jesse White Tumblers.

Jesse White: Someone helped me as a youngster to be where I am today. I’ve never forgotten it. When you get it, you give it back, and you must do something good for someone every day. That’s how I run my life. And with the Jesse White Tumblers, they have to be leafless, smokeless, and pipeless, maintain at least a C [00:34:00] average in school. They must learn to love their fellow man and woman. And then, of course, we want our young people to go out into life, to be a positive force. And that’s why we insist upon them maintaining at least a C average in school. If they drop out of school, then that’s a non starter. You are persona non grata. You say, what is that? You’re out of here.

David Hirsch: Frank McKinney, father, real estate artist, seven-time Badwater 135 finisher, eight-time best selling author, and founder of the Caring House Foundation. It built 31 self-sustaining villages in Haiti for 13,000 children and their families.

Frank McKinney: That you need to go against the grain. You need to not be afraid to take risk in life. When we would be in an airport and there was a moving sidewalk, David, I would have her go down the opposite direction of the sidewalk, because that’s how life is. It’s always coming at you. It’s always telling you, you can’t do this. Little girl, you’re going to get hurt. Little girl, you’re on the wrong side. That’s life. Until she finally said, “Dad, I’m too old to do [00:35:00] this” I had her walk down the opposite direction of the moving sidewalk.

David Hirsch: Brady Murray, father of 11, including seven adopted children, including two with Down syndrome, and founder of Rod’s Heroes.

David Hirsch: You have four children and then you adopted.

Brady Murray: Yeah, there’s a five year gap between Ridge and Mason and we adopted Coop and he fit right in the middle there. It’s just meant to be.

David Hirsch: Has anybody told you this is not logical?

Brady Murray: Yes, all the time. We learned about a little boy who was abandoned on a street corner in a city of 14 million people when he was guesstimated to be about six months old. I can only guess it was because he has Down syndrome. And when we saw a picture of that little guy, we knew that he was our son.

David Hirsch: One of the 2024 podcast highlights included Jonathan Eig, father of three, including a son whose parents passed away, and best selling author of biographies on Muhammad Ali, Lou Gehrig, and Martin Luther King, Jr.

Jonathan Eig: This one small decision that I made to step in and become big brother for this kid [00:36:00] has just had endless ripples of benefits for me and has enriched my life and enriched my daughter’s life and long after I’m gone, they’re gonna be, have this really wonderful relationship. We extended our family. We were lucky to have two girls, but then to have an extra, like a bonus kid, and such a wonderful one. I talk to him every day. We work out together at the gym almost weekly. And my daughters have their own independent relationships with him. And now with his wife, my little girl, my 14 year old daughter just adores Jeffrey’s wife. And they’re developing their own friendship. They go out for tea together, just the two of them. And like, how beautiful is that? Like we’ve created all these new waves of love.

David Hirsch: As we celebrate the production of Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast episode number 300, I want to take this opportunity to offer my heartfelt thanks to our growing list of partners and affiliates; our primary podcast sponsors, Horizon Therapeutics and Rubin Law Offices; the 700+ Special Fathers Network mentor fathers; my fellow 21st Century Dads [00:37:00] Foundation board members Tom Costello, Rich Gathro, Gary Grube, Brian Page, and Wayne Messmer; my late friend Lawton Wilkerson, the original Tuskegee Airman; and last but not least, Tom Couch of Couch Audio, who’s produced the last 298 episodes. If you’ve benefited from listening to the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast, would you please consider subscribing to the podcast on the 21st Century Dads YouTube channel, sharing the podcast episodes with friends and families and making a charitable contribution by visiting 21stCenturyDads.org.

David Hirsch: And a special thanks to all our listeners, including yourself.