289 – James Myles, of Georgetown, Grand Cayman, Father of Seven Including Two With ASD

Transcript:

Tom Couch: [00:00:00] Special thanks to Horizon Therapeutics for sponsoring the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast. Working tirelessly to research, develop, and bring forward medicines for people living with rare and rheumatic diseases. Discover more about Horizon Therapeutics mission at HorizonTherapeutics. com.

James Myles: So for those great dads who are struggling with this new diagnosis, visit because you’ve probably never seen it before or never been up close to it and it’s never been personal to you.

It’s been personal to a lot of great dads all over the world and you can tap into this network, you can listen to the podcast, you can select even if it’s based on your child diagnosis to see how you can best help your child to be 100 percent of themselves and contribute to wherever they are in the world and because God has put them on this planet for a reason.

And they’ll be [00:01:00] about doing it and they need your help.

Tom Couch: That’s our guest this week, James Jamal Miles, a coordinator with the Department of Youth Services for Grand Cayman Island. James is the father of seven, including two children on the autism spectrum. He’s a proud member of the Miles family, one of the largest, if not the largest, family on Grand Cayman.

He’s got an engaging personality and has quite a story to tell. And we’ll hear that story on this Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast. Say hello now to the founder of the Special Fathers Network, and host of the Dad to Dad Podcast, David Hirsch.

David Hirsch: Hi, and thanks for listening to the Special Fathers Network.

Dad to Dad Podcast, presented by the Special Fathers Network. A dad to dad mentoring program for fathers raising children with special needs. The Special Fathers Network Mastermind Group experience is the most comprehensive program the 21st Century Dads Foundation offers. Dads raising children with special needs meet virtually on a weekly basis and form meaningful [00:02:00] relationships while sharing weekly wins, discussing books, and sharing heartfelt challenges.

One of the highlights of the year is attending an in person weekend retreat. We’re launching 10 new mastermind groups in 2024 with 10 dads per group. That means we’re only looking for 10 like minded dads in each community. If you’re a dad raising a child with special needs, we hope you’ll join a local mastermind group and make the investment to become the best version of yourself.

For more information, please see the show notes or simply go to 21stCenturyDads. org.

Tom Couch: Now let’s hear this conversation.

David Hirsch: I’m thrilled to be talking today with James Miles of Georgetown Grand Cayman, who is a coordinator with the Department of Youth Services and father of seven, including two children on the autism spectrum. James, thank you for taking the time to do a podcast interview for the Special Fathers Network.

James Myles: You’re

David Hirsch: welcome. You and your wife, Melissa, have been married [00:03:00] for two years, and between you are the proud parents of seven children. Your children, Ahmed, 28, twins Jamar and Gerard, We’re 23, Sarah 14, and Melissa’s children Nivano 22, Myra 17, and Jade 13. Both Jared and Sarah have autism. Let’s start with some background.

Where did you grow up? Tell me something about your family.

James Myles: Well, I grew up in West Bay and Grand Cayman in the Cayman Islands in a pretty rough neighborhood. So I’m very thankful for God that I came out on the positive side. I got good direction from God. Real good mentors, uh, which included my dad and my grandfather and great grandfather and my uncles.

They helped put me on the right path and it shows the importance of male, um, participation in rearing of children. And I took that with me to my family.

David Hirsch: So did I remember that, uh, you were the middle of [00:04:00] seven children growing up?

James Myles: Yes, it is seven of us, five for my dad and my mom remarried. Had two more daughters by her second marriage.

So I’m smack in the middle of seven. I have three older than me and three younger than me. A brother and two sisters older than me and a brother and two sisters younger than me.

David Hirsch: What’s it like being a middle child?

James Myles: I think being in the middle means you’re the glue. You kind of hold a whole group together.

Kind of a hinge type person where the siblings kind of swirl around you. So I have I’ve seen where I’ve been trusted in taking lead roles in the participation of all of their lives, even those older than me. I just man up and do it. I was the first one to go to college. I was the first one to get real promotion at work and stuff.

And, and I think a lot of my siblings kind of took the lead from that. And now all of my younger siblings are [00:05:00] college graduates. Uh, my older ones, I haven’t been to college, but they did professional courses. Tool themselves up and so they did well. My older brother is a retired police officer. He was in the police service here in the Cayman Islands for 34 years and he just recently retired and he’s just

David Hirsch: 52.

So is everybody still there in Cayman or not?

James Myles: No, my eldest sister Darlene, she is in the UK. She was married and just recently divorced. She has a daughter named Sarah who is turning 17 She’s been away from home for a while. I know she’s contemplating coming back now that um, Sarah is finishing high school.

I think once she finishes high school she might return home and see what opportunities would be here for Sarah to connect with the rest of her family here.

David Hirsch: Well if I had to choose between living in the UK and living in Cayman, that might not be a very [00:06:00] difficult choice. So I’m sort of curious to know, what did your dad do for a

James Myles: He was a mason, worked with concrete, built a lot of homes, built a lot of structures around Georgetown.

And then when he retired from being a mason, he was a cab driver. He always had this charm about him and with him being experienced at going at sea. Many years ago, most of the men in the Cayman Islands went aboard tankers and freight carriers around the world. So they got to see the world that way. He got to be friends with a lot of people from everywhere.

He kind of had a lot of friends that visited him while he was working, when he returned home. People would come and visit him, then he would drive them around and take them fishing, and do all the island stuff that they would never get to do. So when he retired from being a mason, he took up a cab drive and show people around, and people didn’t really want to leave his cab, you know, because he would show them everything, and had such a good [00:07:00] time with people.

He had a lot of friends. When he passed away in 2017, some of those friends still came to the funeral and I, I was surprised. I haven’t seen some of them in years, but they always used to keep in touch with him when they heard that he was really ill, they made preparations to come and pay lot respects to him.

That, that, I thought that was very cool.

David Hirsch: Sounded like he had a big and outgoing personality.

James Myles: Yeah, I think I got some of that from him. . . I, I have a way of. Greeting people and talking to people that they, they feel that they have known me for 10 years. I saw that in my dad. He used to come up to strangers, say, how you doing?

I haven’t seen you in a long time. You have never seen me. But he always had that way of engaging people. And I think I got some of that from him. And I, I also see that in Jared. Jared is an open, warm person, but he’s very [00:08:00] careful in reading people. So he knows who to go and talk to. I don’t know how, that must be a gift that he got from God.

That he can read people, he knows where the good vibe is, and he just goes up to these people and strikes up a conversation, and introduces himself, and say, he’s from here, and this is what he’s been doing, and he works at this place, and he has so much fun, and I, I thank God for Inclusion Cayman, for the way they’ve took the time to connect him to an institution, and that embraces his strengths and tolerates the little difficulties that he might have.

And they love him, and he, and he loves them. He runs to work every morning. He runs from the car to work.

David Hirsch: Still thinking about your dad, I’m sort of curious now, how would you describe your relationship with your dad?

James Myles: It was very close. And in his last, maybe 20 years of life, he was a born again Christian.

He always kind of lived [00:09:00] a wholesome life around us. Even when he wasn’t a Christian that he would drink and stuff, he would do that away from the home. He rarely ever had even beers in the fridge, you know, so a lot of alcohol or anything like that he would keep away from us. I personally never tasted alcohol, um, because he told me that my uncle, which he named me after, he named me after my uncle that I never got to meet him.

He was killed five years before I was born. He was shot because he was drunk. And I didn’t need any more encouragement to not drink. So I made it a point that if somebody’s going to take advantage of me, it’s because they’re better than me. Because it’s not because I’m intoxicated.

David Hirsch: Yeah, well, you probably saved yourself a lot of money and a lot of heartache.

James Myles: I know.

David Hirsch: Yeah, you know, I respect the fact that you made that decision and You know, it’s worked to your advantage. [00:10:00] I think it works to a lot of people’s advantage. So when you think about your dad, were there some important takeaways, lessons learned that you’ve tried to incorporate into your own parenting?

James Myles: I noticed that my dad sometimes had a short fuse when it came to his commands and when he make a command is it’s to be done right away. And I, I learned from him to be a little bit more patient. It is one way of having a stern rule, and it’s another way of making sure that you can accommodate the way people learn.

And I don’t think my dad was educated to that level. So I’ve learned to be a lot more tolerant and to look at the way each of my children live and learn. I think it’s something that all dads should consider. No matter how much children you have, they all have different personalities.

David Hirsch: Well, I think what I heard you say about your dad was that, uh, [00:11:00] he was very consistent.

He had his own parenting style. But when you’re raising more than one child, you need to adapt, right, to the fact that each of your kids is different. And, uh, they might have different aptitudes or ways of understanding things. And maybe we’re more enlightened today as dads to understand that. And to say, I need to meet my child where they’re at, as opposed to, hey, it’s my way or the highway mentality.

And, uh, you know, I think it’s very insightful that you mentioned that. So I’m thinking about other father influencers, and I’m wondering what role, if any, your dad’s dad, your grandfather on your dad’s side and then on your mom’s side played.

James Myles: I never met my paternal grandfather. He passed before I was born, but I heard a lot of stories about him.

And I heard a lot of stories about his work ethic. And I hear it from a lot of people when they see my efforts. They say like, where are you Alfred, [00:12:00] child? Yeah, that might be a good compliment. But my grandfather dropped down on the job. So I shall take my

David Hirsch: rakes. So when you say he dropped down on the job, he died at work.

That’s what you’ve said.

James Myles: Yeah, he collapsed on the job. And When they took him to the hospital, he just didn’t leave the hospital. Oh my gosh, yeah. He worked hard and those years there wasn’t any heavy equipment. He was the heavy equipment. That was in the 50s in the Cayman Islands where there was no heavy equipment at all.

So they cleared the roads. He built the airport. He built a lot of the roads and they had to cut down the trees and break down the rough patches and fill in with marl and And all this is done manually. There’s one road name, Miles Road, that’s the road that goes to where his house used to be. So there was a road named after him, [00:13:00] but I don’t need a road name after me.

I just need to leave a lasting legacy of my children and my grandchildren that they love the Lord and they live out the purpose that God created them for.

David Hirsch: How about your maternal grandfather?

James Myles: I met him once. He was an Indian diplomat, uh, diplomat to Honduras. That way he met my grandmom down there and I met him once.

It was just brief in passing. He was recovering from a surgery, so he wasn’t at his best, and that was the only interaction I had with him. But he did encourage all of us to, to do what we love. That’s the message that he gave us. If you do what you love, then you will be loved. You would have a happy life.

And I said, well, I was just out of high school, just getting into government. So I started working in government straight out of high school. I was a clerical officer. So it’s office work. I didn’t really [00:14:00] know my niche yet, but I always used to volunteer to be a football coach or a basketball coach, because at that time I was on the national team for the Cayman Islands.

So as I was being coached, I would coach younger people. Coming through the programs that I went through. I didn’t know that it was really preparing me for a career as a youth officer, a youth worker. But it did. I started to volunteer with Special Olympics. I would invite the governor of the Cayman Islands to come down and play with Special Olympics athletes and they used to come.

And I, I, I love the governor’s for it because it was a nice game that everybody could do, young and old. So it was a very intergenerational game and they loved it. And I loved the idea that the governor would take his or her time to come and play with special Olympic athletes and find a way of including people.

Cause I’ve, I’ve always had an inclusion approach in my life. I’ve been around, [00:15:00] even when I grew up in West Bay, there was a lot of disabled people in the community. And I always say, no, we need to play marbles that they can take part in the games, or we need to play hide and go seek that they can still be part of what we’re doing.

Not all of them can play football, so let’s not always play football. And even during the summer breaks, we would have like eight weeks of summer. There’s a season for each week, you know, like this week is kite week because it’s windy. Next week we’re playing football and it is, and it’s all the trophies that we have got from the year, the school year before is up as the World Cup.

But a lot of those differently abled children couldn’t take part in the World Cup, but they could take part in cricket, or they could take part in the marble season. So we were trying to make sure that there was a season for everybody. Everybody has a different ability level, but that doesn’t mean that you should exclude them from everything.

So, [00:16:00] include them where they can. Include them as much as possible. Tell you that sometimes don’t know that they’re gifted in our area. Like, I had one cerebral palsy neighbor who could beat me at chess and checkers at any time. I’m like, look at how hard I tried. She would still beat me and I was good. I used to beat everybody else.

David Hirsch: My recollection was that, uh, from an educational standpoint, you went to Jamaica, NoCal, and you took a degree in science and technology, and you studied socioeconomics. Where did you think your career was going to take you once you finished your education?

James Myles: Well, at that time, I was working in the economics and statistics office in the Cayman Islands government.

So I thought, yeah, it’ll be upward mobility within ESO. That’s actually where I met Francis Arana. We work together at the Economics and Statistics Office, and he’s also part of the Special Dads Network here in the Cayman Islands.[00:17:00]

I know I’m a people person, and with the social economics part of stuff, it took me into the communities, gathering data and stuff, and a lot of people got to know me. Because of that, they kind of like having conversations. It’s probably because I have that kind of, I guess, charisma that my dad had. Make you feel like I know you from a long time.

So a lot of people felt that way. Um, I got the kind of information that’s needed for the surveys. And I got to connect to the community and learn a lot about people just from asking the questions. And I’ve got an opportunity to broaden my own network of people that I know and people that I’m acquainted with.

And I just kept in touch with people. And I think a lot of people like that about me. And then the opportunity came [00:18:00] up when we drafted our national youth policy to do youth work. Because they asked me to be the researcher when they were developing their national youth policies. Because I was heavily involved in coaching athletes and stuff.

They thought, okay, I know a bit about youth work. I know a lot about research. I was at the economics and statistics office, so I had access to a lot of data. And then I developed questionnaires. to go into the communities to find out what the needs were for young people. They need job opportunities, they need educational opportunities, and then they need uh, people to, to help them get there.

They also needed a strong social cultural identity. You have to have some pride about where you are and who you are as a people. So I started a radio show called UFlex Radio Show, where we shared a lot about what it is to be Kemanian, uniquely Kemanian, and proud to be. Who we are, [00:19:00] the history our people have made.

And I got to share a lot of the stories that my dad shared with me. I got to interview a lot of people that knew my grandfather and that generation of civil engineers that did it the manual way. And so a lot of younger Caymanians listening all kind of felt that, okay, I don’t understand why people calling us lazy.

You know, because it is definitely not in our culture. bloodline. We’ve always been this driving type of force of people.

David Hirsch: Yeah. Well, I love it. Thank you for sharing about your, uh, youth facts radio program. It sounded like, uh, it served a lot of different purposes. One, you know, for yourself from a personal standpoint, I’m sure it was a therapeutic, right?

Uh, to interview some of your grandfathers, great grandfathers, uh, acquaintances. Also to inspire young people, right? You know, it’s very rewarding when you’re working with young people, whether you’re coaching [00:20:00] them in sports or helping them think about their life or their career, you know, it’s part of your legacy.

And, uh, it’s amazing that you’ve been able to take the statistical and data gathering information, uh, Match that or marry that with the passion that you have for working with youth and sports and, uh, you know, make a difference in people’s lives like you have there.

James Myles: When it all comes down to it, I do all I do for my family to make sure that whatever I have is poured into future generations.

So that’s what I do for my family. My family lives on with the morals that I pass on or some of the virtues and the lessons that I pass on. It is coming not only from me, my great, great grandfather. So I make sure to tell him your grand dad used to tell me, was my dad used to tell me. So those lessons carry on.

And I think that is the legacy that families ought to share. We’ve always been hardworking. We’ve always been driven. [00:21:00] We’ve always been caring and it’s always been poured into the next generation. So all the miles have ambition. All the miles have drive. I hold my house on purpose and your purpose may be different from mine.

I, none of my family has ever been into youth work, but they have been pouring into their young people.

David Hirsch: Absolutely. So I’m sort of curious now, how did you and Melissa meet?

James Myles: I do a culinary program. The National Youth Culinary Program teaches young people, prepares them for life in and out of the kitchen.

They get exposure to executive chef levels, before they graduate from high school. So when they graduate from high school, they go straight into tertiary studies and they’re like miles ahead of everybody else in their class. They’re all leaders when they get into that, those classrooms and they take it overseas to whichever college they, they attend as well.

Amir [00:22:00] is now in La Roche in Spain and he is studying in Spanish, a little island boy from the Cayman Islands. He learned the language and all of the leadership qualities is now pouring out. He’s getting excellent grades at one of the top hospitality colleges on the planet. I had recent success with Tarek Francis coming back from Le Cordon Bleu, which is one of the top cooking schools on earth.

And he graduated with distinctions and he came through the program and he was like way ahead of everybody else. And he was one of the younger Members as well. He graduated at age 22 with two degrees from La Cordon Bleu. I’m very proud of the young people that are coming through the programs and give it back now.

David Hirsch: So was Melissa involved in the program?

James Myles: Yes, her and her mom. Her mom is a deputy director. She teaches the [00:23:00] Cayman cuisine to preserve our Cayman culture. Melissa’s mom is one of the top cooks in Cayman. Whenever people want good Caymanian cooking, they seek her out amongst the top two or three persons.

Wow. So I asked her to come and do all the Caymanian stuff with the young people so when they go away, they can also say, if we have a culture night and you need something Caymanian I know exactly how to prepare. That is her legacy. When I got divorced And she was into the church and I was into the church.

I think God has provided me a nice Christian life. So, I asked her and she said yeah.

David Hirsch: Well, congratulations. And I understand your two year anniversary is on the horizon.

James Myles: Yes. It’s just a few days away.

Tom Couch: We’ll be back with more of the conversation on the Special Fathers Network, Dad to Dad Podcast in [00:24:00] just a few moments, but first this quick message.

Please help 21st century dads gather research on families raising children with special needs by having them complete the Special Fathers Network Early Intervention Parents Survey. A link to the survey can be found in the show notes. As a token of our appreciation, each person, mom or dad, who completes the survey will receive a great dad coin.

Thank you. Now, back to the conversation.

David Hirsch: So let’s switch gears and talk about special needs. And I’m sort of curious to know, prior to Gerard’s diagnosis. Did you have any connections beyond what you’ve already mentioned as it relates to a disability or special needs?

James Myles: Yeah. I mentioned that I grew up in a community that had a lot of, it’s, it’s called Boston Bay, West Bay.

And in Boston Bay, there was a lot of families that had children with cerebral palsy to the point where they, they would call it [00:25:00] a Cayman disease. I mean, it was a lot of them in the neighborhood. They were always into church stuff. So I said, if they can participate there, we can find other ways for them to participate.

And we noticed that some of them were good at chess, good at tabletop games. So we tried to make sure that they were involved as much as possible because it was at a time where a lot of the farmers wanted to hide them away. Some of them that were severe that they couldn’t sit up or they were deformed and stuff.

It made it very difficult for us to include them. But we found ways of saying, okay, we’ll have them come and watch us play marbles or, you know, find some way that they would actually be out and we get to know them. I mean, there’s some that if we didn’t go to the house and visit them, we would never get to see them.

As we grew older, my generation started to find a lot of ways [00:26:00] to include them. And for the more able ones, They were almost everywhere with us. Swimming, diving, fishing. But, um, for those that were, their mobility was an issue, we found little ways to get them involved. And so, we still thought to have moments and memories, to create memories with them.

And it speaks to the level of inclusion that we had as a community in West Bay. That, um, we can, we can have photos, we can share stories of. times where we spent with this person or that person.

David Hirsch: Yeah, it’s really important too. Thank you. So I’m thinking about Jared and I’m wondering, um, what is his diagnosis and how did it come about?

James Myles: He is on the autism spectrum, but he is very high functioning. From the time he started to play by himself, I know it was an issue because before it was like two or two and a half [00:27:00] when he started to. Stop playing with his twin brother, you know what I’m saying? And he started to, you know, take his toys in the corner, play by himself and stuff like this.

They, they used to do everything together. So Jamar would keep coming up and joining him and play with him and stuff. And I say, well, he got it right. I can see that Jared started talking to himself and stuff. So once the diagnosis came to us, okay, I know something was a little different, a little off about Jared.

But I will be integrating him, I’ll be socializing the same way I do with Jamar, and same way I’ve done with Ahmed. But when it came to community interaction, Jared is outgoing. He is autistic, but his memory is super. And I think that is a blessing that he is sharing with the world. If he met you, David Hearst, he would say, Hello, David Hearst, how are your day?

And when he see you five years later, he said, Hey, hello, [00:28:00] David Hearst. Was your stay good? You know, because that’s the kind of memory he has. I’ve seen him do this with people. How will you remember that person’s name? No, not just the first name, the first and last name. If he knows your first and last name, that’s how he’ll address you.

So I used to take him a lot of places with me, and he used to be my memory bank. I like Jerry. Who this person is again? He said, Oh, that’s James Geary. I said, okay, all right. What messes him up is when, when women get married and he know you as, you’re Amber Tatum, you come back with me and your name is Amber Smith.

No, no, no. You’re Amber Tatum. So, uh, I had to let him know that women can change their name when they get married. So he said, okay.

David Hirsch: I love it. Well, what, what you’ve emphasized that he’s got a really good hearing. like super hearing, and he’s got a super memory, right? So you need to play to those strengths, right?

What are things that [00:29:00] he can do, right? To leverage those skills, you know, those, uh, extraordinary talents that he has. And, um, when you first got the autism diagnosis, was there any fear or concern?

James Myles: No, I didn’t have it. I know my ex wife, his mom at the time, I don’t think she was prepared for a special needs child as I was.

I’ve been around persons with disabilities almost all my life. I grew up in an area that it was all around me and then I got into Special Olympics so I got to see how they can move from a person that couldn’t walk to becoming a speed walk champion. Challenges can be overcome, you just need to know what to do and how to do it, so.

This is probably why Jared clung to me, because I kind of understood that he could excel in areas where the normal expectation. [00:30:00] Could not be done by anyone else but him. I, I tried to play to his strengths as much as, as I could by getting him involved in the community, getting him to meet people, to share his special talent and greeting people and letting people feel warm and welcome, cherished and appreciated, and I think that is what PricewaterhouseCoopers is benefiting from right now.

That level of charm that he has, that level of. caring that he has and he shares it with them each work day.

I think that’s the aim of any caring parent is to prepare their child for life beyond them, especially a parent of a child with disabilities. You have to quickly prepare them because it’s something that takes a lot longer than the normal [00:31:00] pace of a child. So you, you try to Put all the lessons in a pressure cooker almost, so you can try to get as much in as quickly as possible because I’ve had school mates and people that I went to school with that are younger than me that have just collapsed and died.

It is no um, promise for me this because I’m 50 that I got another 20 years ahead of me. I’ve seen 46 year old drop down and they were gym rats in the gym and I like. You fit and how you have a massive heart attack and die. I like that. So when you see how fickle life is, you try to put as much experiences and lessons into your children as soon as possible because you never know how life would play out.

I could be well today and not well tomorrow. [00:32:00] And so I try to make sure that even if I’m not well, my family can still be well, and my children can still be well to try to set them up to win.

David Hirsch: Yeah, well, one of the thoughts that comes to mind is that we’re all literally a heartbeat or a step away from experiencing disability ourselves. You know, you don’t hope that that’s the case, but if you understand that’s the reality of the situation, you know, hopefully you’re a little bit more aware. So I’d like to switch gears and talk about supporting organizations and talk specifically about inclusion came in.

And, um, I’m wondering what What’s the backstory on Inclusion Cayman? Because it hasn’t always been Inclusion Cayman. Right, it

James Myles: started out as a special needs foundation. We definitely can find a way to include everybody now. I’m sitting in a chair, and if somebody’s wheelchair bound, they can still [00:33:00] be enjoying meeting just like what we’re having right now.

And all they need is a voice and a computer, and they can speak to the world. That is the world that we live in now. And I’m grateful for inclusion came on because they’re saying we have the technology to include everybody. So let’s go about getting it done. We don’t all need to be high flyers. We don’t all need to be Steve Jobs and everybody that creating huge organizations.

But we need people that can behind the scenes make magic happen. And they can do it at their pace and at their time. And they can do it extremely well if given the opportunity. And I thank them for allowing Jared to do what he do. And he can do, he’s doing it at 100 percent and he’s giving PricewaterhouseCoopers 100 percent and they are loving it.

And I thank them for it. And there’s a lot more parents in the Cayman Islands waiting for the [00:34:00] opportunity to have their 30 or 60 percent of do 100 percent for their community.

David Hirsch: I love what you’re talking about is, uh, Meeting people where they’re at, trying to identify what their abilities are, and then matching them with the, uh, appropriate responsibilities.

And it thrills me to hear that PwC, uh, formerly known as just Price Waterhouse, my alma mater, which is my, I got my first job out of college as a young accountant, young auditor and tax accountant, um, is, Progressive, right? It’s always had a great reputation as being a progressive company, providing people with opportunities.

So I’m thinking about advice now and I’m wondering if there’s any advice that you can share specifically for dads who maybe are earlier in their experience raising a child with a recent diagnosis.

James Myles: My advice is that don’t panic. You’re not in there alone. You have [00:35:00] more than enough help now. Even with this network, it is something that is even new to me, but I can benefit from it because I listen to some of the podcasts.

And some of the podcasts are dads of children my age in the 50s. So I can see and I can learn and then I know what to expect as I get older. And you can do the same if you just Tap into some of the technology and some of the networks that are there for dads with special needs children. Um, you, you can get guidance along the way.

I’m not afraid to share my contact information. I’m sure Dave isn’t either. If we can help you help your child, we will. It is my purpose in life to see everyone live out their purpose in life. I can see from the ethos behind this special father’s [00:36:00] network that is also. The driving force for this network.

To make sure that fathers can engage with their children in a meaningful way. In a way that makes sure that they can live out their full potential. And all dads want that for all their children. Even if you’re a bad dad. You want your child to be better than you. So for those great dads, who are struggling with this new diagnosis, visit Because you’ve probably never seen it before or never been up close to it and it’s never been personal to you.

It’s been personal to a lot of great dads all over the world. And you can tap into this network. You can listen to the podcast. You can select, even if it’s based on your child diagnosis, to see how you can best help your child to be 100 percent of themselves and contribute to wherever they are in the world.

And because God has put them on this [00:37:00] planet for a reason. And they’ll be about doing it, and they need your help.

David Hirsch: Yeah, well what I think I heard you say is that, uh, don’t panic, you’re not alone. And then, tap into the resources, right? Don’t be in denial. Lean into finding those that have already been there and done that.

James Myles: And it’s very rewarding, I must tell them that too. It’s very rewarding when you see the lights turn on. It’s very rewarding when you see the doors open. It’s And it’s very rewarding when you see the opportunities being granted and taken by your child and your child live out their purpose and all that you’ve poured into them, you will see poured out and they’ll splash it lavishly on the world and you, you’ll be the proudest dad in the world.

Trust me, I, I

David Hirsch: feel

James Myles: it.

David Hirsch: Yeah. Well, there’s a phrase that I’ve heard very often from dads in the network, James, which is, I would not have asked for a child with special needs, but looking back on the experience, usually a decade or decades later. I would not change anything, right? [00:38:00] And it’s to the point you were just making, you know, they make you so proud of what they’ve been able to accomplish, even though there’s been a lot of challenges, you know, along the way.

So is there anything else you’d like to say before we wrap up?

James Myles: I would like to say to Jared that I’m very proud of him. I would like to say to Sarah that I’m very proud of her and for all my family for being a part of their lives as well. Community is very important to humans. It’s important to everyone.

For the way that our family has embraced my children, who have special needs, um, it’s amazing. And I love each and everyone for it, because if I wasn’t trying to name out everybody, we’d be here until next week. Because I have a huge family, and it’s, it got larger with this new marriage. Her family is the second largest family in Georgetown.

Oh my gosh. My family. It’s the largest family in Georgetown. [00:39:00] So all of my family is about 217 that are just miles. Not those that are married like onto other names, but they’re still have that mild factor, but they’re all embraced it. And, and Melissa also has a special need brother. So she understands the challenges.

She understands what’s happening. And. I get to pour into Jerome as well. He likes to go crabbing, so I take him crabbing. Those, these are the little moments that we share and we include them wherever they are and they love us for it. And we definitely love them.

David Hirsch: Yeah. Well, thanks for sharing. Let’s give a special shout out to Shan Harriman at Inclusion Cayman for helping connect us.

James Myles: Yes. And all of the team at Inclusion Cayman. Even before I knew about the. [00:40:00] They were working with us to make sure that Jared was rated for opportunities and that opportunities were rated to, for Jared. And this is amazing. I never thought that I would get that level of assistance or that level of caring because I felt I was on my own trying to get Jared to work.

And, and Jared has been, was applying for jobs and, And it was constantly a no, no, no. And so when this opportunity came up, I thanked them thoroughly for it. And now this is even a larger blessing because now I’m being tooled up. I’m being resourced and being afforded a resource that goes way beyond what I would have been guessing about.

I can be a lot more sure about. Because I can, um, look on the stories of fathers who are now dealing with an aged, different, uh, special needs child.

David Hirsch: So if somebody wants to learn more [00:41:00] about Inclusion Cayman or contact you, what’s the best way to do that?

James Myles: Inclusion Cayman has a website that has a lot of the information and services that they provide.

Um, I think the best way to do it is to go to the website. If you need to contact me personally, my number is 1 345 425 4255. 922 3652 and you can get in touch with Jamo. Everybody calls me Jamo.

David Hirsch: Okay. Jamo, thank you for taking the time and many insights. As a reminder, Jamo is just one of the dads who’s part of the Special Fathers Network, a mentoring program for fathers raising a child with special needs.

If you’d like to be a mentor father or are seeking advice from a mentor father with a similar situation to your own, please go to 21stcenturydads. org. Thank you for listening to the latest episode of the Special Fathers Network, Dad to Dad Podcast. I hope you enjoyed the conversation as much as I did.

As you probably know, the 21st Century Dads Foundation is a 501c3 not for [00:42:00] profit organization, which means we need your help to keep our content free to all concern. Would you please consider making a tax deductible contribution? I would really appreciate your support. Jamo, thanks again.

Tom Couch: All right. Thanks Dave.

And thank you for listening to the Special Fathers Network. Dad to Dad podcast. The Special Fathers Network is a dad to dad mentoring program for fathers raising children with special needs through our personalized matching process. New fathers with special needs children match up with mentor fathers in a similar situation.

It’s a great way for dads to support other dads. To find out more, go to 21stCenturyDads. org.

David Hirsch: And, if you’re a dad looking for help or would like to offer help, we would be honored to have you join our closed Facebook group. Please go to Facebook. com groups and search Dad to Dad. Lastly, we’re always looking to share interesting stories.

If you’d like to share your story or know of a compelling story, [00:43:00] please send an email to David at 21stCenturyDads. org.

Tom Couch: The Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast was produced by me, Tom Couch. Thanks again to Horizon Therapeutics, who believe that science and compassion must work together. That’s why they work tirelessly to research, develop, and bring forward medicines for people living with rare and rheumatic diseases.

Discover more about Horizon Therapeutics at HorizonTherapeutics.com