340 – Mastermind Group Monday – 2024 Retreat Recap

Transcript:

Jason Hsieh: People was very encouraging, about, like, with each other as a group where we are really trying to lift each other up. And in today’s dang world now, everyone trying to put everyone down instead, you know, so that’s very. That’s why I really enjoy the group is because a lot of the things we are going through is hard to share to other people that just couldn’t remotely relate to what we are going through mentally. So, yeah.

David Hirsch: Hi, I’m David Hirsch, host of the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast. Two short messages. First, I’d like to thank those who donated more than $1,000 to the 2024 cycle to end Father Absence campaign. In alphabetical order, they are in a bird, Irene and Tom Costello, Kim Duchessois, Damien Navarro, Brad Surratt, Don Stadler, and the UBS Financial Services. If you haven’t already done so, please go to 21st centurydads.org and donate today. Secondly, the 4th Annual Special Fathers Network Mastermind Group weekend retreat took place earlier this month at the Hyatt Regency in Chicago. In total, 27 dads from across the US participated, including three from Iceland and one from Ukraine. We had some meaningful conversations about the importance of self-care, respite and marriage, as well as siblings and family balance. We also shared a handful of meals together, did an indoor spinning class, and were treated to Dennis Watkins Magic Parlor Show, Chicago’s most highly rated show. For more information, please see the show notes or simply go to 21st Century Dads.org we just had our weekend Mastermind Group retreat in Chicago. There were 27 dads in total. We had a meaningful experience, lots of meaningful conversations, lots of laughs, some tears, and, lots of good, fellowship. So I’m just going to go around the horn and ask you this question. What were your two favorite aspects of the retreat and who did you enjoy meeting the most? Jordan, why don’t you go first?

Jordan Jankus: Okay. I guess the thing, that I enjoyed most, since I’m the newest to the group, was actually meeting people in, you know, flesh and blood and seeing how tall everybody is compared to the small little me. It’s much easier to talk to people when you’re standing next to them and you get the body language as part of the whole process. So that was great. And as far as people that I enjoyed talking to, Rich Gapra was really interesting, a very fascinating guy and getting to meet his wife. We share that, our, our senior status with each other. So that was really precious. Really enjoyed that.

David Hirsch: Great, thanks, Jordan. John Shouse how about yourself, David?

John Shouse: I believe at one point you had, mentioned in one of the Mastermind podcasts that when we get together for these retreats, it’s kind of like a homecoming. And that’s really the aspect that, there was just so rewarding just to lay eyes on these guys in, like Jordan said in real life, after having, having seen them, you just in the little picture on the screen and, and with the Wednesday night guys, we don’t, don’t get a chance to see them as much. you know, we have the author interviews or if we drop in on a, on a different night. So seeing some of the Wednesday guys that we’ve enjoyed being with in person, that was just really meaningful to me. And to be able to sit and kind of catch up a little bit, it was really great to meet the guys from Iceland. I also enjoyed the heck out of getting to meet Dana from, from Colorado and chat with him for a while. But the, the one that really jumps to my mind is the fact that Jeff was able to bring his son Daniel and his wife, particularly after having told the story about wondering if they would ever be able to take a vacation and go out of town and spend some time together as a family. And to know that they were able to, to make this road trip together to spend some time with before they got to the retreat and then that they were able to be there in the hotel with him. I think it was very meaningful for Jeff, but it was meaningful for me to be able to meet his wife and son as well.

David Hirsch: I agree. Thanks for sharing, John. Tony, how about yourself?

Tony Brescia: Well, I go back to. It was really nice to touch base with everybody that we haven’t seen in a year and, you know, catch up with Joe and Ian and everybody else and see where their life is. Did not like the fact that Joe told me he was as old as Alex, which really made me feel very old that night. But it was really nice just to kind of hang out with everybody a little more. As far as people, I really enjoyed meeting the guys and comparing notes with the guys from Iceland and seeing what they were doing and how things were different.

David Hirsch: That’s

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David Hirsch: excellent. Matt Bando, how about yourself?

Matt Bando: I thought it was a really good weekend. I think it was just as good, if not better, I think I told you than, last, year. I thought where we had. It was great. The bonus, like Tony was saying the guys from, Iceland was really neat. I wish, I could just click my heels and we could just do it all over again this weekend. It just seems like we just need more time and more love, companionship, and, talk. And it’s just such a great, wonderful weekend. And it reminded me a lot of last year, but even better.

David Hirsch: Anybody in particular that you enjoyed meeting?

Matt Bando: I did enjoy not talking about kids, but Agust, right? Is that the way you say the guy from Iceland? He was quite interesting, and I think I told you, Dave, that he just seemed to kind of come over, hug me a couple times. And, like, he was like my buddy. And I. Like, I don’t know where it came from, but I was like, all right, this is cool. So, really neat to find out about how it only gets to 65 degrees in the middle of the summer, and then how the average temperature is about zero or minus 10 in the winter. Those guys have guts. And coming, here, I know it’s not super far away, but when somebody tells you that they live on an island that only has 400,000 people, if you’re not intrigued, I don’t know there’s something wrong with you, because I want to go there now.

David Hirsch: Well, hopefully you’ll have a chance to, take him up, because he’s very welcoming. as far as people visiting, Matt Rehbein, what about you?

Matt Rehbein: My favorite moment was a dinner at Maggiano’s. I mean, I really enjoyed it. Just felt like an extended family literally sitting down to an Italian feast. I mean, I ate a lot. I drank more alcohol than I’ve drunk in quite a long time. And we had quite the table with myself and Ian and Jeff, the three guys from Iceland and Mozzie. And when you think about it, where else would you get such an eclectic, crazy group of people in almost every other respect have nothing in common to sit down at a table and just, you know, enjoy the heck out of each other’s company and, you know, share ideas, you know, share heartfelt stories and laugh a ton. I mean, no, that was just a, I really enjoyed that dinner time and the folks at that table. I just really enjoy being with him. Ian and I have a kind of a neat affinity because some of our professional overlap there. And Jeff, I’ve just had a ton of respect for him. I feel like I finally got to sit down and talk with him in more detail than I ever have. And the three Iceland guys, we’ve already talked to them, but I really enjoyed getting to know Mozzy. That’s such a interesting guy who’s just literally willing to, you know, lay, you know, his body and Soul on the line for his kid.

David Hirsch: Thanks for sharing that. I’ll just mention that, one of the things that I enjoyed most was the meet and greet. When you’re, you know, having everybody introduce themselves. there’s a lot of new faces there this year, and I can’t underscore the importance of the fact that, you know, we were able to get away for the weekend. Right. You know, we got a hall pass, if you will. And it has a lot to do with the fact that our wives are holding down the fort. No matter what your situation is, the wives are holding on the fort. So it was really, nice to get away and to spend, time with you guys.

Jeff Johnson: I wasn’t going to come to dinner, and then I ended up coming to dinner, and I’m so thankful that I ended up coming to eat with you guys because I sat at their table and, not like it was profound when we talked, but dads are dads wherever they come from. And we talked about, the issues with trying to get dads to open up and communicate and talk about their kids. It’s the same in Iceland. It is in the United States, and I knew that. But to actually hear it come from them, in such an honest way, and, just to listen to these guys talk about how much they care about their children and how much they care about reaching out to other dads and making a difference, I thought was just, fantastic. And so, the highlight, definitely the highlight of this retreat was meeting the three fellows from Iceland, because I got to sit with them at that table and we talked some good personal conversations. So I think a combination was great.

David Hirsch: Thanks, Jeff. Ian, how about you? What were your two favorite aspects of the retreat and, who did you enjoy meeting the most?

Ian Todd: My two favorite aspects of the retreat were just the growth. It was so cool to be in that room and to just feel how much the group has expanded and to know that it’s touched so many other people. I think, too. Also, our conversation about respite was important. It’s a topic that you can’t talk about enough. It’s what keeps you going at

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Ian Todd: the very end of the day, and it’s what allows you to show up and be a, great parent. I would say, in terms of the people that I met, I’m going to actually give a huge shout out to Daniel. Thank you so much.

David Hirsch: Excellent. Thanks, Ian. Joe, how about you?

Joe Lofino: My favorite aspect every year is that bike ride. It’s probably because I never work out or exercise and it always pushes me. I am, surprised at what I can actually accomplish if I just sit on a bike and go, you know. And I don’t know if it’s the community aspect of it or what, but just a great time. I don’t know. I guess I would say the dinner too. It was just a very relaxed atmosphere. I mean, it was like Italian home, just hanging out and good conversations. Of course, the conversations are great too, with just meeting all the guys. So my favorite guy I met, surprisingly was Brad. But I had like 10 hours with him. You know, I was like, I was with him five hours up, and five hours back, and we talked. We just had a conversation the whole time. And he was just awesome to get to know some guy two miles away from me, you know. And then I mentioned, Jerrel and Tony because I got to talk with those guys. It was funny. Like with you guys. I’ve met you guys for so many years now. It’s like, ah, yeah, there’s Ian. All right, There’s Jeff. All right, cool. Some new guys, you know, and get some fresh. of course it was cool to see you guys. And to meet guys that I won’t see for a long time was kind of interesting too.

David Hirsch: Excellent. Thanks for sharing, Joe. Shane, did you want to share from, your past experience?

Shane Madden: You know, it’s odd that Joe mentioned the bike ride because when I was at the last one, I really enjoyed that bike ride too. Just pumping them pedals and breaking the sweat and just, you know, getting out of the routine. Routine of not working out. Like Joe said, that was probably one of my favorite memories.

David Hirsch: Excellent, thanks for sharing, Shane. Jason, how about you?

Jason Hsieh: I think last time I attended is that talk at the park, like the picnic. I feel like that was very refreshing to have this talk, in the park without a kid with a whole bunch of guys, which is very different than what I used to people was very encouraging about, like with each other’s and I really, you know, as a group where we are really trying to lift each other up and in today’s dang world now, everyone trying to put everyone down instead, you know. So that’s very. That’s why I really enjoy the group is because a lot of the things we are going through is hard to share to other people that just couldn’t remotely relate to what we are going through mentally.

David Hirsch: For me, the thing that I really enjoyed the most was the first night with the introductions and some of the local dads that participated, like Jim Mullen, the disabled Chicago police officer who’s a ventilator, dependent quadriplegic. And he dropped off some of his applesauce, right, to share with the group. And then we had Alvin Green from Al’s Cookie Mixx. M I X X was really generous of him to give us cookies for Friday as well as Saturday. Both cookies are just amazing. And, as far as meeting people, I really enjoyed. And I’m not just saying this because you’re on the line, Jeff. meeting Michelle and Daniel. And then, Kathy, Rich’s wife. What a bonus that was, right? in addition to, you know, meeting guys like Brad who are there for the first time, meeting the guys from Iceland. And for me, you know, I’ve. I’ve interviewed, you know, many of the guys that are involved with the Special Fathers Network and who are just getting involved, right? With the Nashville group, with the Denver group, with the London group. And I’d, never met Jerrell Roach before. We just been virtual buddies. So, he’s a hoot. Right? I have a lot of respect for that guy. So, anyway, so I just want to say thanks for, allowing me to record a couple of thoughts, Sam.

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