400 – David Hirsch, Founder Of 21st Century Dads Foundation & Podcast Host Reflects On The Past Nine Years

Transcript:

David Hirsch: Hi, I’m David Hirsch, founder of the 21st Century Dads foundation and Special Fathers Network, as well as host of the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast. We thought we’d do something special to celebrate episode number 400 and provide a brief history about the 21st Century Dads foundation, Special Fathers Network and some of the remarkable individuals who’ve helped create these extraordinary resources. As a volunteer led organization and on behalf of the families we serve and it’s my pleasure to provide you with a brief overview and some highlights from the past nine years.

24 million kids across America are growing up without dads

David Hirsch: As you may know, my journey as a fatherhood advocate occurred shortly after Peggy and I had our fifth child back in 1996. While looking for fatherhood resources, I became aware of the fact that there are an estimated 20 million plus US youth growing up in father absent homes. That equates to about four out of every 10. There are also way too many single moms pulling double duty, doing the best job they can, providing and raising for their children, in some cases with very little support or no support from the children’s fathers. I also learned that children from father absent homes are more likely to have lower graduation rates, be involved with crime and incarceration, fall victim to drug and alcohol abuse, and be subject to teen pregnancy and suicide. Motivated to do something, I helped create the Illinois Fatherhood Initiative, one of the country’s first statewide, not for profit fatherhood organizations. IFI’s mission is to actively engage fathers in the education of children. We learned that if you could only do one thing, it would be to get the dads more actively involved in their children’s education. IFI Signature Program has been the annual fatherhood essay program. Since 1997, IFI has collected more than 425,000 essays written by kindergarten through 12th grade students to the theme what My Father Means to Me. There have typically been three celebrations a year based on the essays, one for the essayists, another for the dads, and a third for the educators and volunteer readers. The very first year IFI collected 30,000 essays, engaged 400 volunteer readers, published an essay booklet featuring two dozen of the essays, did an on field announcement for the Fathers of the Year at Wrigley Field, and I had the privilege of appearing on the OPRAH Winfrey Show.

David Hirsch: This is David Hirsch, founder of the Illinois Fatherhood Initiative. See, I think fathers don’t know. I’ve done lots of shows about deadbeat dads and all those reunion shows. The message over and over again from the men, I think they don’t realize the void and the hole that they leave.

David Hirsch: Children benefit dramatically from the involvement of a positive male adult. And that’s the message we want to get through. And whether that’s, a dad, a stepdad, a granddad, an uncle, it’s just men being involved in children’s lives, your own children, as well as reaching out to those that are really in desperate need. About 10 years ago, I felt a calling to do something on a larger scale which led to the formation of the 21st Century Dads Foundation. Our original vision was to engage a wide range of fatherhood programs from around the US and combine our efforts to to raise greater awareness and resources to address the fatherhood epidemic. We launched the 21st Century Dads foundation with what became known as the Dads on a Ride 2015, a cross country bicycle ride from Santa Monica, California to Chicago, Illinois from June 1 to June 21. I, rode the entire 2,325 miles over 21 days, averaging 112 miles a day and accompanied for one, two or three days by nine other riders arriving on Father’s Day at Ah, U.S. cellular Field to a crowd of 40,000 Chicago White Sox baseball fans. It was a transformative experience. We raised over $100,000 and did plenty of TV, radio and print media.

David Hirsch: 24 million kids across America are growing up without dads. David Hirsch wants to change that. So he rode from Santa Monica to Chicago to support local charities that help dads become more active in their k.

David Hirsch: The purpose for the ride is to honor dads, to raise awareness for the local charities, fatherhood charities along the way, and to raise some resources for those charities.

David Hirsch: So he rode and rode and rode some more.

00:05:00

David Hirsch: That led to me delivering a TEDx talk entitled why we need to Break the Cycle of Father Absence, which has now been viewed more than 35,000 times. It’s my hope that the enduring legacy of our generation will be that we recognize the impact of father absence and we took the time to do something about it. Thank you. 2016 included publishing the book entitled A Father’s Journey to Break the Cycle of Father Absence and planning and executing Dad’s Honor Ride 2016, a 21 day, 1400 mile bicycle ride from Boston to Chicago. Nick, Topinka, Dohney and I rode all 1400 miles, and there were 35 other riders who also rode from one to seven days. We arrived again on Father’s Day at Wrigley Field for another memorable celebration. 2017 was a busy year. We did another Dad’s Honor ride around Lake Michigan, which started and ended in Evanston, Illinois, covering 958 miles in nine days. Nick and I did the whole ride and there were 10 other riders who rode part of the way. We also pioneered the idea of doing indoor riding events known as the Cycle to End Father Absence, where anywhere from 10 to 35 riders would spin on stationary bikes. We did seven of them, including Bur Ridge, Illinois, Evanston, Illinois, Oak Park, Illinois, Equine, Wisconsin, Boke in New Jersey, Chicago and Denver. It took 3Dads on a ride to realize we were not able to engage the other father organizations. Instead of closing the 21st Century Dads foundation, we did some research with the objective of narrowing our focus. That boiled down to four working with dads in high poverty areas, working with incarcerated dads, working with teen fathers, and or working with dads raising children with special needs. We decided to focus on the latter two categories, and that marked the beginning of the Special Fathers Network. Four years of experience raising children with special needs and matched them with dads whose children were more recently diagnosed. Here’s a funny backstory. About the same time someone asked me, hey, Hirsch, what do you think about podcasts? I said, I like listening to podcasts. Some are entertaining, some are educational, others are inspiring. The person said, no, not what do you think about listening to podcasts? What do you think about hosting a podcast? I said, that’s pretty comical. I have no experience with radio interviewing, editing or production. Plus I have a number sticky brain, Remember? I manage investments. He said, you’d be good at it. Give it some thought. Those were the seeds that quickly germinated into reaching. Reaching out to, a handful of friends raising children with special needs who all said, sure, I’d be willing to share my story. In chronological order, they are Tony Uman, Randy Lewis, Skip Giannopoulos, Jim Elliott, Joe Montana, and Paul Gianni. I remember like it was yesterday when this all started to happen.

David Hirsch: I’d taken the kids to go drive.

David Hirsch: Somewhere to buy my wife flowers for Valentine’s Day. And we were pulling back into our house.

David Hirsch: And so my son is 6. He’s still in a car seat.

David Hirsch: he had fallen asleep.

David Hirsch: And I’m taking him out of his car seat and he goes into having a seizure.

David Hirsch: And I’d never seen one before and.

David Hirsch: It scared me to death. And then he was non responsive after that. Always let my kids know I love them. Austin, do you know how much I love you? That’s a tough question for him, but he always has interesting answers. His most interesting one is all day long. And Kay and I thought, well, that’s a good enough answer. We’ll go with that.

David Hirsch: Particularly with down syndrome.

David Hirsch: There’s no predisposition to having a second child with down syndrome once you have your first. So literally it is like striking twice.

David Hirsch: In fact, thought a little bit.

David Hirsch: About buying lottery tickets. After that. People say to me, what’s it like to have a daughter with autism? I said, I don’t know what it’s like not to. I can’t explain that. It’s a tough question. It is what it is.

Special Fathers Network Daddy Dad Podcast focuses on positive ways dads are addressing disability

David Hirsch: That’s our guest today. He starred on Broadway, in the movies and on television. Joe Montana.

David Hirsch: Joe Montana is more than just a movie and television actor. He is a special person helping special people with autism. And, and I am the luckiest reporter on earth because he’s my dad.

David Hirsch: That’s Mia Montana from a video interview with her father.

David Hirsch: Joe, what is your proudest achievement in dealing with autism? today is certainly one of them. I mean, this one’s gonna come right up there. I mean, the fact that I could sit here and be interviewed by you and, be part of the Seclusion News interview is a very proud moment for me. As soon as you have someone with special needs, it’s amazing how you start seeing individuals with special needs.

David Hirsch: The primary objective of the Special Fathers Network Daddy Dad Podcast has been to shine a bright light on the positive ways dads are addressing the challenges associated with disability and helping their children reach their full God given potential. In 2018, we produced 35

00:10:00

David Hirsch: podcasts with a wide range of dads, stepdads, granddads, and father figures from across the US who included actors, a garbage collector, fire chief, a non profit leader, car dealers, radio personalities, a rabbi, and pastors, educators and authors, as well as First Sibling Interview.

David Hirsch: The joy and the, happiness each of these kids bring us every day is a gift beyond words. We committed that we were going to be a family and that we were going to include my son in everything we did. He regards me as his best friend.

David Hirsch: That’s pretty powerful and that’s been the greatest joy of my life for the.

David Hirsch: I tell people that one of the blessings of having a, son with autism. I’m the only dad I know whose 25 year old will give him A full body hug. So every person that’s part of our effort is called an angel. The idea is that everyone’s Ainsley’s angels. You know, I kind of fell into this fire service career. I’ve always believed in helping people. it was somewhere programmed in my DNA that, you know, you got to give back to people. In spite of all the nightmares that were in the beginning of our story, we feel so lucky to be where we are. This was my therapy after Lexi D. Was to put together this nonprofit, and to make a difference, improving the comfort and quality of life for children with special needs. And the theme of my movie, we all have needs. Whatever it is, diabetes, sickness. We all have needs, but some are more special than others. We wanted to create a very good ice cream shop, that happens to employ people with special needs, but it’s got to be good ice cream. Since 2010, we funded over $2 million of research. If you put the best interest of your child first, you’re never wrong. It’s a simple idea. The more you do for others, the better off we are. People need to see and feel that there’s some hope in their journey with autism. There’s challenges, there’s going to be hardships.

David Hirsch: There’s going to be an infinite amount.

David Hirsch: Of sacrifice that you’re going to have to make. But, the rewards are so profound. We hear stories all the time. People coming out of the hospitals and being told they’ll never do sports again or they’ll never walk again, and they’re just wrong. I thought back to what the doctor had said, Mr. Page, he’s never gonna walk. This kid is running a race. And he won the race.

David Hirsch: The diagnoses included autism, down syndrome, cerebral palsy, rare disease, paraplegia, no legs, no arms and no legs. We also conducted five cycle to end father absence events, including Los Angeles, California, Portland, Oregon, Atlanta, Georgia, Kildura, Illinois and Dallas, Texas. We also created the Ryan M Hanson Memorial internship in honor of Ryan Hansen, who was a 21st century dad’s volunteer, who very sadly died of natural causes shortly before his 19th birthday in 2019. We produced 48 podcasts, including our first international interviews with Kelly Moynihan in Canada.

David Hirsch: The other thing about having a mentally.

David Hirsch: disabled individual in your family, you.

David Hirsch: Know, they bring you down to earth.

David Hirsch: Every now and then.

David Hirsch: So our daughter enjoys the simple things in life. So to watch her have, an ice cream cone and see how much she enjoys that, or to finish a puzzle and to see her, her joy in being successful in doing that, you know, those quite minor things that, she enjoys so much really bring you down to that basic level of satisfaction and enjoyment.

David Hirsch: And Dr. Shane Sonder Geld, Australia.

David Hirsch: Having a child with a disability is not a negative. There is just so much wonder to be seen if you just go looking for it.

David Hirsch: As well as our first female interview with Becky Davidson of Cookeville, Tennessee.

David Hirsch: I’m not the dad that I thought that I was going to be. I’m not going to play ball in the backyard. I’m not going to go to games with my son. But I’m, the dad that God wanted me to be. I’m turning into that dad. And that is one of my most favorite quotes from Jeff. For people who didn’t know him, that’s the essence of who he was. I mean, when he started realizing, you know what, my life is going to look completely different and I’m going to embrace the dad that God actually created me to be.

David Hirsch: Becky is the co founder of Rising Above Ministries with her late husband Jeff, and author of the book Common Man Extraordinary Call, which Jeff started before he passed away and Becky finished. Some of the additional 2019 podcast highlights included Dick Hoyt, episode number 13. Perhaps one of the most iconic dads I’ve ever met. For those that don’t recognize the name, he’s the one who pushed his son Ricky in 34 Boston Marathons. In total, they did more than 1200 races, including 100 marathons and six Ironman triathlons.

Fathers Network podcast features stories of Fathers Helping Fathers

Hi, I’m David Hirsch and this is the Special Fathers Network podcast, Stories of Fathers Helping Fathers. I’m thrilled to bring you our guest today, the legendary Dick Hoyt.

David Hirsch: Rick is the athlete

00:15:00

David Hirsch: and I’m just out there loaning him my arms and my legs.

David Hirsch: Dick’s oldest son, Rick, was born as a spastic quadriplegic with cerebral palsy, unable to walk or talk. In 1977, with the help of the special computer device, Dick told his dad.

David Hirsch: He wanted to participate in a five.

David Hirsch: Mile benefit run for a young paralyzed lacrosse player. Dick, who was not a runner, pushed Rick in his wheelchair the entire five miles. Coming in next to laugh that night, Rick, using his computer, said, he said.

David Hirsch: Dad, when I’m out running, it feels like my disability disappears, which was very powerful.

David Hirsch: That was just the beginning. Since then, They’ve done over 1200 races, including 32 Boston Marathons and six Ironman Triathlons all around the world.

David Hirsch: Our message is, yes, you can, you can do anything you want to do, as long as you make up Your mind, you can do it.

David Hirsch: Dick and Rick have been an inspiration to people all across the country and around the world. And Dick, is here with us today to tell his story on the Special Fathers Network podcast.

David Hirsch: It was Rick that got us into running, and, I wouldn’t be running today if Rick didn’t ask me to. I can only imagine.

David Hirsch: Rick Danes, father of five, including three with special needs, and author of Keep.

David Hirsch: It Together, man, he saw that and he ran over there and he got this trophy. And I’m telling you, all of the garbage that we’d gone through, all of the things that we tried to get him involved in, all the times that we took him out of the house to take a walk or go to the beach in hopes that something will click, all of that became validated because he stood there on the podium with his trophy and I looked at my wife and she’s just bawling. Tears are flowing. It was maybe the happiest moment that we’d had in years.

David Hirsch: Stephen Duffle, father of five, including adopted blind and autistic son Christopher, who is a Christian, singing phenomenal.

David Hirsch: Christopher Duffley was born in May of 2001. He was totally blind. We didn’t get the autism diagnosis till he was like four and a half, five years old. Oh, wow. He sang. That fall opened the eyes of my heart at a statewide night of worship. All the Boston news crews, ABC, NBC, Fox, they all @ our doorstep. We had to pull Christopher out of public school that day and bring him home. And they did interviews from like that, afternoon to 9:00 clock at night. It really moves people’s hearts because they kind of get out of their self and they realize if this little boy can get through all these struggles, my struggles are nowhere near his and he can still have joy in his heart.

David Hirsch: Bob Mendez, father of three, including son Robert, who was born without arms or legs, who has gone on to become a beloved and inspirational high school varsity football coach.

David Hirsch: At this time, I just want to.

David Hirsch: Introduce to you somebody that I think can really help turn this program around. A coach that I hired because I was impressed with his knowledge of the game.

David Hirsch: His passion as a coach blew me away.

David Hirsch: Your new coach, Rob Mendez.

David Hirsch: Today we’re going to hear the story of a boy who was born with no arms or legs and who went on to become an inspiring and successful high school football coach. In the back of my mind, I’m asking, why? Why my son, you know, less than 100 born like him in the world. What am I going to do with.

David Hirsch: This boy, Jose Velasco, father of two, who are both autistic and founder of the SAP Autism at Work program.

David Hirsch: Every day they gave us something new and something inspiring and something wonderful because we kind look at things like autism in a negative light.

David Hirsch: But to be honest, there’s so many.

David Hirsch: Wonderful blessings associated with that because they are different and different in a way that our kids transformed the way that we were.

David Hirsch: Brian and Alan Lynch, Vietnam veteran, Medal of Honor recipient, and grandfather of a child with a rare disease.

David Hirsch: We did have to have hip surgery in January where her hip was immobilized for 6, 7 weeks. The atrophy that happens when you literally can’t move your lower body is amazing. But she’s lost, and, dare I say it, she’s running and chasing my dog around the house like she always has. And while there’s a, noticeable limp, she overcomes everything that we put in front of her. And she’s a great kid. And my wife and I were actually just remarking to one another the other day about how happy she is. She’s an extremely happy kid, despite everything.

David Hirsch: John Crawley, father of three with special needs, who literally found a cure for Pompe disease that saved two of his children’s lives. Subsequently

00:20:00

David Hirsch: told in the bestselling book entitled the Cure, which Harrison Ford optioned and starred in the movie Extraordinary Measures. John was played by Brandon Fraser. John also went on to found Amicus Therapeutics, a publicly traded biotech specializing in rare disease.

David Hirsch: And to see all the leaders of our country, Supreme Court justices, military leaders, every member of the House and the Senate, and the Vice President, to stand twice and to give your daughter a standing ovation. An incredible young woman is with us this evening who should serve as an inspiration to us all.

Today is Rare Disease Day, and joining us is a rare disease survivor

today is Rare Disease Day, and joining us in the gallery is a rare disease survivor, Megan Crowley. Megan was diagnosed with Pompe disease, a rare and serious illness, when she was 15 months old. She was not expected to live past 5. On receiving this news, Megan’s dad, John, fought with everything he had to save the life of his precious child. He founded a company to look for a cure and helped develop the drug that saved Megan’s life. Today, she is 20 years old and a sophomore at Notre Dame. Megan’s story is about the unbounded power of a father’s love for a daughter. To look out and to see Bernie Sanders and Nancy Pelosi standing and applauding and to see Paul Ryan and, you know, John McCain, whoever was there, stand on both sides of the aisle. I think that was one small good moment, maybe for America. And it led to some really good reforms and good leaders continuing to do their work at FDA and help highlight what are rare diseases and the number of people who have them.

David Hirsch: In 2019, we also held our first Special Fathers Network Dads conference, complete with live performance of the national anthem by Wayne Messmer. Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast dad number 56.

David Hirsch: You know, the voice. He’s Wayne Messmer, and he sung the national anthem for years for every sports team in Chicago. He’s been on tv, the radio, on the stage, on the screen, and then it all stopped as I hit the gas to pull out. Boom. He pulls the trigger. 9 millimeter shot point blank in the neck. What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? But through grit and determination, he came back. He came back to sing, and he came back to be with his family, including his granddaughter Jamie, who has special needs. And in this Dad to Dad Podcast, Wayne Mesmer tells his story to host David Hirsch.

David Hirsch: I know that most people know you as a singer. There’s a great history of broadcasting. But whenever I mention Wayne Mesmer’s name, people are like, oh, national anthem guy. Exactly right.

David Hirsch: Oh, say, can you see by the door?

Special Fathers Network produces 52 podcasts on 24 topics dads tell us are important

David Hirsch: 2020 was a pivotal year for the Special Fathers Network. In addition to producing 52 podcasts, we also created a series of 24 bi weekly zoom calls on 24 topics the dads told us were the most important to them. Popular topics included estate planning, marriage and respite, self care, siblings and family balance, to name a few. 2020 marked the year 21st century. Dads foundation, like so many other organizations, was forced to pivot from conducting in person to virtual conferences. We had hoped to get 80 dads in person and instead got more than 200 from 30 states and six countries, including Canada, England, Iceland, Kenya and Japan. Some of the 2020 podcast highlights included Jerrel Roach, father of four, including two with autism, army reservist and comedian.

David Hirsch: My philosophy is really like, everybody should be mentoring somebody. Everyone, everyone realize there is a child behind the special need. There is a child in there that needs to be raised up, and they need to be loved. They did not ask to come into this world, and we need to raise them and give them the best shot. Like you said, creating a longer Runway for them.

00:25:00

David Hirsch: That has inspired us to just want to do more for them and for others as well.

Miguel Cervantes, star of Hamilton, father of two

David Hirsch: Miguel Cervantes, Chicago, star of Hamilton, father of two, including a daughter with Infantile epilepsy who very sadly passed away at age 3.

David Hirsch: I am making my Broadway debut as Alexander Hamilton. At the same time we are finding out that my daughter is in really bad shape. So you can understand, I call it a lot of times where sort of I’m holding onto a comet one hand and a parachute in the other with two sort of forces going against each other. And that’s sort of how we came to Chicago. That’s how my Hamilton life began. Was under unbelievable amount of stress for my family and the excitement of doing this amazing job. If you could choose to not have a suffering child, family member, you, I feel like most of us would choose to not have that. And, and so I could go back and give it all away. Give up Hamilton, give up everything. To have a healthy daughter. I would do it, in a heartbeat. She’ll have a little legacy that we’re going to leave behind and she’ll always have a, place in this fight even though she’s not here anymore.

David Hirsch: Yeah, that’s fabulous. I also noticed that you created an original song entitled Till the Calm Comes with all the proceeds going to support CURE as well.

David Hirsch: And before it’s too late, I’ll make them disappear.

David Hirsch: Doran Almag, retired Major General in the Israel Defense Force, Founder of Allah Negev. father of three including son Iran, who was autistic and nonverbal, who sadly passed away at age 32.

David Hirsch: Duran Al Mog, retired major general, Israel Defense Forces Duran is a truly heroic figure in his native Israel. During his 34 year military career he was involved in dozens of high level missions including the legendary rescue of 105 Air France hostages from the Entebbe Uganda Airport in 1976. Dharan and his wife Dee Dee have been married 42 years and are the proud parents of three children. Oldest daughter Nitsan, 41, youngest child, daughter Shoham, born in 1991, who very sadly died at age one month from a heart condition. And middle brother Aaron who had autism and also passed away at age 23 in 2007. Our second child was born 1984. This is Doran El Moog from his TED Talk at the age of 8 months. Didi, my wife and me were told by the psychologist, your son is having a combination of autism and retardation. Probably he will never speak. Probably he will mentally stay child forever. That was a shock. Upon retiring from the military and with the belief that all people, no matter their abilities, be treated with love and respect, Duran led the creation of Ale Negev A Ah, 50 million dollar state of the art rehabilitation village with 150 residents. Most remarkably, Ale Negev is staffed by and serves Jews, Muslims and Christians. Alenegev Nahla Tearan, is a village specially built for population of people with special needs. People like our son Eran Zichon Oliver, who passed away and as a matter of fact was the greatest professor of my life.

David Hirsch: As of the beginning of 2021, we had produced 130 podcast episodes, making it increasingly difficult for listeners to find the episodes of most interest. So we decided to start the SFN Daddy dad audio book series. The first audible book was on autism, featuring the first 12 autism interviews with a forward by Joe Montana. We also produced another very successful SFN Dads virtual conference, attracting more than 200 attendees from 10 countries. We also created this Special Fathers Network Mastermind group with like minded dads meeting on a weekly basis Wednesday nights.

Special Fathers Network Mastermind group met weekly to support each other

I’m wondering if you can share, what the most impactful aspect of your Special Fathers Network Mastermind experience has been.

David Hirsch: The most meaningful experience I’ve had is the privilege to find like minded men, like minded fathers.

David Hirsch: For me it’s really been the relationships we built here, the intentional

00:30:00

David Hirsch: relationships and friendships. We texted each other during the week. Sometimes we did calls or emails or whatever it was, but if we had something going on, we were present, we were helpful and we were, you know, there and ready to, support each and held the first Special Fathers Network Mastermind group weekend retreat in Nashville, Tennessee. Some of the 2021 podcast highlights included Warren Rustan, father of six, including one with autism, as well as author of the book Leader Within Us.

David Hirsch: I was hanging around with some really interesting people. Dick Cheney, Don Rumsfeld, Colin Powell, Bob Gates, Brent Scowcroft, Henry Kissinger. That was sort of the inside team.

David Hirsch: Ruslan Basiyutin, a Ukrainian dad who has a young daughter with cerebral palsy.

David Hirsch: Another challenge was great, challenge was to feel comfortable taking my child with me in public, not being ashamed, not hiding the eyes, but to be proud, to smile, to talk to other people, to involve my daughter in communication. I’m ready to share it with others because it’s a big challenge, a big problem for our parents in Ukraine.

David Hirsch: Jim Stovall, who went blind at 29, founder of the Narrative Television Network, author of 51 books, eight of which have been made into major motion pictures.

David Hirsch: One of the most powerful impacts in my life was a four year old kid that came into my life for three years to teach me the Unadulterated wisdom of the ages, which is quite simply, when it comes to that big dream, that calling that thing in your life, the answer is always, yes, you can. The dream would not have been put there if you and I didn’t have the capacity to achieve it. So the question is never can we? The question is, will we? And that is Christopher’s enduring legacy to me.

David Hirsch: D.J. voss, father of 21, including 14 who were adopted from six countries, including nine with special needs.

David Hirsch: Even little mercy. I look at her m my firstborn special needs child, and I think, my goodness, she’s a hero. She probably saved 10 lives because there’s 10 kids here.

David Hirsch: Nine, 11.

David Hirsch: I lose track, whatever it is. All those special needs kids are in my home now. Just because she was born, just because she exists. She was the one that got us over that hump to save all these other kids. If we’d have never had her, those kids would still be in China and Taiwan now and probably a lot of them dead. She’s done more for more people than many of us will ever do. She’s an absolute hero.

David Hirsch: In 2022, we held another successful Special Fathers Network Dads virtual conference and produced two more audiobooks. One on down syndrome with a forward by Mark Cronin, co founder of John’s Crazy Socks, and a second on rare disease with a forward by John Crawley, founder of Amicus Therapeutics. We also created the second Special Fathers Network Mastermind group with like minded dads meeting weekly on Tuesday, and held the second Special Fathers Network mastermind group weekend retreat in St. Louis, Missouri.

Some of the 2022 podcast highlights included Common Samuels of Jerusalem

Some of the 2022 podcast highlights included Common Samuels of Jerusalem, a rabbi, co founder of Salvo, father of seven, including son Yoshi, who went deaf and blind as a result of a bad batch of vaccines. This was put to me by my sister when we first moved to New York. She was there for a conference and she said to me something very simple. She said, sit down, kid brother. The problem is not with your son. The problem is with you. You’re still dreaming. He’s going to be a ball player, he’s going to play sports. You’re still dreaming. He’s going to be a rabbi. He’s not going to play sports, and he’s not going to be a rabbi. But you’ve got to change the yardstick, meaning you have to measure his successes with his yardstick, not with yours. So that if he does whatever it might be, on a seemingly small scale for him, that might be more than winning the gold medal in the 100 meters at, the Olympics. Eric Endlich, an autistic man, father of two, including a son with autism, father and disabled Chicago police officer who was catastrophically injured in the line of duty and has been a ventilator dependent quadriplegic.

David Hirsch: I responded to a call of shots fired where an offender was firing out his back window at the passing L train. He was shooting at the trains going by. During that call, we tried to gain entry into his property. The offender opened the door. He had fired two shots and one struck me in the right cheek. And I was a instant ventilator dependent quadriplegic.

David Hirsch: Bonner Paddock, the first person with cerebral palsy to climb Mount Kilimanjaro, and complete the Ironman distance triathlon.

David Hirsch: You know, love your child for where they’re at. See the beauty in exactly

00:35:00

David Hirsch: where they are. That is a beautiful, special person there that’s gifted into your life. And it’s up to you to figure out what those gifts are each day and see the beauty in those. Because there’s going to be great challenge. I know that. I understand the divorce, rate is so much higher. I know there’s so many other challenges that go on with raising a disabled child. But do your best to try to love yourself and love your loved ones where they’re at.

David Hirsch: Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield, a licensed clinical therapist who is known as the dad Whisperer, host of the dad Whisperer podcast and author of let’s Talk Conversation starters for dads and Daughters.

David Hirsch: And every year my dad would take me to lunch and then to perfume day, usually on the 24th of December, maybe the 23rd, we go to Nordstrom. Sometimes it was Macy’s. You know, imagine a dad in the perfume section for an hour with perfume up and down my arm. And my dad is weighing in. I am not kidding you, David. One of my favorite days. It’s an annual holiday for me.

David Hirsch: In 2023, we held another successful Special Fathers Network Dads virtual conference and produced audiobook number four on cerebral palsy with a forward by Mark Miller of Chick Fil A and audiobook number five on losing a child with a forward by Rooster Roster, co founder of Ainsley’s Angels. Some of the 2023 podcast highlights included Dr. Temple Grandin, who is autistic, a professor at Colorado State University, author of three books, who was played by Claire Danes in the movie entitled Temple Grandin.

David Hirsch: My name is Temple Grandin. I’m, not like other people. I think in pictures and I connect them. But this is the problem the verbal thinkers get locked into the label. You’re putting Elon Musk in the same category as an adult that’s non verbal, that can’t dress themselves. You got the same name on it. That doesn’t make very much sense. See, as a visual thinker, I’m seeing these m different people. That just doesn’t make sense.

David Hirsch: You know, it’s one thing to see a person that has quirks or is on the spectrum and sort of identify with that just from an observational standpoint. And what I thought was really creative is that the producers, would cut from what the scene looked like, the actual scene to what you were seeing. Right? And it juxtaposed these.

David Hirsch: Oh, and that’s where Mick Jackson really knew how to do that.

David Hirsch: Tom Driesen Korean War Veteran Stand up comedian and AUTHOR and as we were.

David Hirsch: Running to the limo, getting limo, she started screaming, Mr. Sinatra, please. Mr. Sinatra, please. And Frank got out of the limo and he went up to her and he said, what is it, ma’?

David Hirsch: Am?

David Hirsch: She said, my husband is home sick. He’s terribly ill. If I could get an autograph from m you, it would mean the world to him. And Frank said, sure. And he signed me the autograph. She said, oh, what beautiful cufflinks. And they were very, very, very expensive cufflinks. Over a thousand dollars, I remember. So when he finished the autograph, he took the cufflinks off and he handed them to her and said, give these to you, your husband. She said, no, no, no, I don’t want them. I just was admiring them. He said, no, I want your husband to have them.

David Hirsch: Jesse White Longtime Illinois Secretary of State US Army Veteran and co Founder of the Jesse White Tumblers Someone helped me.

David Hirsch: As a youngster to be where I am today. I’ve never forgotten it. When you get it, you give it back. And you must do something good for someone every day. That’s how I want my life. And with the Jesse Wyoming Tumblers, they have to be leafless, smokeless and pipeless. Maintain at least a C average in school. They must learn to love their fellow man and woman. And then of course, we want our young, people to go out into life to be a positive force. And that’s why we assist them and maintain at least a C average in school. If they drop out of school, then that’s a dumb story. You are a Persona nigrada. He said, what is that? He persuaded? Get out of here.

David Hirsch: Frank McKinney father real estate artist seven time Badwater 135 finisher eight time best selling author and founder of the Caring House foundation who has built 31 self sustaining villages in Haiti for 13,000 children and their families.

David Hirsch: That you need to go against the grain. You need to not be afraid to take risks in life. When we would be in an airport and there was a moving sidewalks David, I would have her go down the opposite direction of the sidewalk because that’s how life is. It’s always coming at you, it’s always telling you, you can’t do this little girl, you’re going to get hurt. Little girl, you’re on the wrong side. That’s life. Until she finally said, dad, I’m too old to do this. I had her walk down the opposite direction of moving sidewalk.

Fathers Network podcast features 20 fathers sharing their stories about adoption

David Hirsch: Brady Murray, father of 11, including seven adopted children, including two with down syndrome and founder of Rod’s Ah

00:40:00

David Hirsch: Heroes. You have four children and then you adopted.

David Hirsch: Yeah, there’s a five year gap between Ridge and Mason and we adopted Coop and he fit right in the middle there. This is meant to be.

David Hirsch: has anybody told you this is not logical?

David Hirsch: Yes, all the time. We learned about a little boy who was abandoned on a street corner in a city of 14 million people when he was guesstimated to be about 6 months old. I can only guess it was because he has down syndrome. And when we saw a picture of that little guy, we knew that he was our son.

David Hirsch: Some of the 2024 podcast highlights included Jonathan Ig, father of three, including a son whose parents passed away and best selling author of biographies on Muhammad Ali, Lou Gehrig and mlk. This one small decision that I made to step in and become big Brother for the this kid has just had endless ripples of benefits for me and has enriched my life and enriched my daughter’s life and long after I’m gone.

David Hirsch: They’Re gonna be have this really wonderful relationship. We extended our family. We were lucky to have two girls but then to have an extra like.

David Hirsch: A bonus kid and such a wonderful.

David Hirsch: One, you know, I talk to him every day. We work out together at the gym almost, you know, weekly.

David Hirsch: And my daughters have their own independent.

David Hirsch: Relationships with him and now with his.

David Hirsch: Wife, my little girl, my 14 year.

David Hirsch: Old daughter just adores Jeffrey’s wife and.

David Hirsch: They’Re developing their own friendship. They go out for tea together, just.

David Hirsch: The two of them. And how beautiful is that?

David Hirsch: We’ve created all these new waves of love. John Borling, Major General, United States Air force who flew 97 combat missions in Vietnam before being shot down and held As a POW in the Hanoi Hilton for six years and eight months, the.

David Hirsch: Texans wanted to do something small for you, so they had this party in the Cotton Bowl. and I can remember talking to the governor of Texas. I said, this is going to be low key. Some of this is about as low key as we Texans get. And, you know, Nixon did the big party at the White House in May of 73 where they gave us the run of the place.

David Hirsch: Starting in May, we did a series of 20 mastermind group Monday podcasts to provide listeners with insights and testimonials about the Special Fathers Network mastermind group program like the one with Rich Gathrow of Danville, Kentucky who joined the pilot mastermind group over five years ago.

David Hirsch: Don’t go it alone. Don’t go it alone. I just, I know I keep circling back to community and brotherhood, but I’m just such a better man for being part of a mastermind group.

David Hirsch: John Gahate of, Placidas, New Mexico, a Pueblo Indian Vietnam era veteran and a father to a blind daughter in.

David Hirsch: Illinois or Native Americans in Florida, you’re going to see these Seminoles or Muscogees or whatever. But that’s not the name in their language that they would call themselves unless we speak English. If I say I come from the Pueblos of Laguna and suny, well, those names were given by the Spanish, but we already have a names that we identify in the languages we speak.

David Hirsch: Are you telling me that the. I know there’s no Illinois Illini. That was not the original name. That’s what you’re saying, Right?

David Hirsch: Right.

David Hirsch: Okay. This is going to be for the, Native American 102 class or the Native American 201 class.

David Hirsch: Sign up for credit. Okay.

David Hirsch: Paul Briggs of, Falling Waters, West Virginia, who’s the father of 38. Yes. This was not a misstatement. 38 children, including six biological and 32 adopted children from five countries to help.

David Hirsch: Facilitate them getting adopted. So we were just involved with the agency, first one and then another, and then it just spread over time. So we ended up doing the 10 adoptions from Ukraine and things wound down there. We did the two from Bulgaria and then we ended up doing our last 13 out of, Ghana.

David Hirsch: Noel Fernandez Collette of Bayamo, Cuba, an 82 year old retired Baptist pastor and disability advocate who went blind at age 30. I’m here in Bayamo, Cuba for the week with Johnny and friends, distributing wheelchairs to more than 200 locals. I’m, thrilled to be talking today with Noel Fernandez Collette of Sego D Avilia, who is an 82 year old pastor of seven different Baptist churches and because of retina pigmentosis went completely blind by the age of 30.

David Hirsch: Let me tell you, I forget to mention it before in America, applying to translate my book into English and the editorial that printed the book here in Cuba allow them to do so. Okay. They are allowed to print the book in English

00:45:00

David Hirsch: in America. I hope that they could do that.

David Hirsch: Jonathan Pollen of Jerusalem, Israel, whose son Hirsch was one of the 200 plus hostages taken on October 7, 2023. Very sadly, the world learned that Hirsch had been killed just days after we recorded this interview.

David Hirsch: We have gotten such an outpouring of love and strength and support and prayers from literally people all over the world. And we know that we’re not alone in this mission. There’s something about this mission where now every day that group passes, we have more and more people supporting us. And it feels like if we don’t get up every morning and spring out of bed to hit the day and do everything we can for these hostages, not only are we failing ourselves in Hirsch, but we’re letting our team down.

David Hirsch: Wayne Friedman of Louisville, Kentucky and his daughter Rena Friedman Watts of Houston, the mother of three and host of the Better Call Daddy podcast.

David Hirsch: I’m still working with different, guys that used to work for us, maybe open up a few satellite companies. I’m doing a little podcast with my daughter. I’m figuring out a way of staying pretty busy and I can learn a lot of things now without necessarily being in a formal school because it’s on the Internet, it’s on YouTube.

David Hirsch: Emma Livingstone of London, England, mother of three with cerebral palsy, a self advocate and founder of up, the adult cerebral Palsy movement.

David Hirsch: If you have a child that isn’t able to do those things, then we have a responsibility to provide those opportunities where you learn those independent skills and you learn to advocate for yourself and have a voice.

David Hirsch: Some of the 2025 podcast highlights included Alfred Niwaba of, Kampala, Uganda, who was a school administrator, father of four, including a son with down syndrome, and with his wife Rosemary Nambouz, co founders of the angel center for Children and NGO serving children with disabilities.

David Hirsch: As a father, Abril’s experience has helped me to be a better teacher and better administrator, a, better director to my staff members and parents at large.

David Hirsch: James Birch of, Georgetown, Grand Cayman, an attorney, single, father of three boys, including one with global developmental delays.

David Hirsch: In the space of 24 hours, my entire life had exploded. Whatever was going to happen in the future, it was going to bear no resemblance whatsoever to the life I was living literally the day before. And I think to try and process that is impossible.

David Hirsch: Sebastian Pelletier of Montreal, Canada, father of four, including three with retinitis pigmentosa, whose family was featured in the National Geographic documentary entitled Blink.

David Hirsch: Yes, there are challenges and yes, there’s things that are difficult to accept. But the more you see the bright side of it, the more that you see the glass half full, the easier it’s going to be to move forward and to find solutions.

Special Fathers Network Data Dad podcast celebrates 400th episode

David Hirsch: As we celebrate the production of Special Fathers Network Data dad podcast episode 400, I want to take this opportunity to offer my heartfelt thanks to our growing list of partners and affiliates. Our primary podcast sponsors Amgen and Rubin law offices, the 900 plus Special Fathers Network mentor fathers my fellow 21st Century Dads foundation board members Tom Costello, Rich Gathro, Gary Gruby, Chris Hunter, Shane Madden, Ryan Page, John Chausch and Wayne Mesmer my late friend Lawton Wilkerson, one of the original Tuskegee Airmen and, last but not least, Tom Couch of Couch Audio, who’s produced the last 398 episodes. If you benefited from listening to the Special Fathers Network Data Dad Podcast, would you please consider subscribing to the podcast or the 21st century dad’s YouTube channel, sharing the podcast episodes with friends and families and making charitable contribution by visiting 21st centurydads.org and special thanks to all of our listeners, including yourself.

David Hirsch: Dad to the dad, you’re not on your own. We walk this road together, hard and home. Dad’s a present physically, emotionally, spiritually, with love, patience, commitment and honesty there go through every season, in every stride. Great dads are present. 247-365-247365.

00:49:46