324 – Mastermind Group Monday with Matt Bando of Downers Grove, IL

Transcript:

Matt Bando: Give it a try. I mean, I admitted at the beginning this, like, I was like, whatever. I wasn’t like, really interested. And until I tried it and I’m like, oh, no, I’ve got so much stuff going on and there’s always an excuse not to do something right in life. But, it’s like a nice T shirt that you have. It just fits well.

David Hirsch: Hi, I’m David Hirsch, host of the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast. Now with more than 300 weekly episodes every Friday since 2018, we’ve been shining a bright light on the positive and uplifting aspects of raising children with disabilities and inspiring dads, stepdads, granddads and father figures to be more present physically, emotionally and spiritually. Welcome to the new Special Fathers Network Mastermind Group Monday Podcast. I’ll be interviewing Mastermind Group dads who will reflect on the positive impact the Mastermind Group experience has had on them and the well-being of their families. As a reminder, the SFN Mastermind Group experience is the most comprehensive program the 21st Century Dads foundation offers. Dads raising children with special needs meet virtually on a weekly basis and form meaningful relationships while sharing weekly wins, discussing books and sharing heartfelt challenges. One of the highlights of the year is attending an in-person weekend retreat. We’re launching 10 new SFN mastermind groups in 2024 with 10 dads per group. That means we’re only looking for 10 like-minded dads in each community. If you’re a dad raising a child with special needs, we hope you’ll join a local SFN Mastermind group and make the investment to become the best version of yourself. For more information, please see the show notes or simply go to 21stCenturyDads.org. Happy listening.

David Hirsch: I’m thrilled to be talking today with Matt Bando of Downers Grove, Illinois, owner of Prodigy Printing and Promotions and father of an adult son with cerebral palsy. Matt, thank you for taking the time to do a Mastermind Group Monday interview for the Special Fathers Network.

Matt Bando: Yeah, Dave, thank you.

David Hirsch: You and your wife Saba have been married for 29 years. And the proud parents of Zain, 25, who has cerebral palsy and who is also a graduate of the University of Illinois, Urbana Champaign and more recently, the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University. You’ve been involved with the Special Fathers Network for more than three years. Your Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad podcast, episode number 237 aired in January of 2023. And for the past two years, you’ve been involved with the Tuesday night Mastermind Group and have been at the last couple of Mastermind Group retreats. Would you please give us a brief overview of the Bando family?

Matt Bando: Sure, Dave. We live in Downers Grove. Zain, Saba, and I. Saba and I have been married 29 years. We first lived in Wheaton while Zain was born, and he was born prematurely at 1 pound 12 ounces, a 25 weeker. We did not find out that he had cerebral palsy till he’s about six months old. And at that time we had moved to Downers Grove and hadn’t been there long. And Saba and I met out of college at Oakbrook Mall. I was walking through the mall and saw at a store and asked her out and that’s it basically.

David Hirsch: Excellent. So I’m sort of curious what attracted you to the Special Fathers Network initially?

Matt Bando: You know, I don’t know if it was anything particular. I mean, I won’t forget how I met you and basically you and Zain met and you told me about it. I found it interesting, but I wasn’t sold because I didn’t believe in it. I wasn’t sold on myself as much. I was kind of more intrigued to find out how you were going to do in that huge marathon that we were doing in Miami. So I, no matter if I was going to join or not, I had to find out if you ran 100 or 95 miles. And you seem like an interesting guy. But, probably initially I was like, I didn’t really want to do something like this. So when I joined in June of a couple years ago, it just kind of fit. Well, I kind of massaged into it. I, you know, I’ve done kind of, I’m pretty outgoing person, so it wasn’t hard. But as I kind of got into it, I liked it.

David Hirsch: I do remember, meeting you. It was at the Dive Heart debut of their film and we were just standing in line and Zain was wearing a University of Illinois pullover or something and we just struck up a conversation and you know, one thing led to the next and you know, we’ll give Jim Elliott credit for introducing us.

Matt Bando: That is true. And I, I’m happy you did that because I probably would have taken a lot longer to explain it. You did a great job explaining how it was like bam, bam. And yeah, you and Zain connected and yeah, that’s it.

David Hirsch: So I’m thinking about the first, few Mastermind Group meetings that you attended. What do you remember about those?

Matt Bando: Nothing, Dave. I have to be honest, I don’t remember anything. I do remember the first meeting, though, taking a lot of notes. You know, I remember Tony, I remember John. I remember Matt. I remember Nathan. And that’s been kind of our solid crew on Tuesday night. We’ve had. We have some new guys, but we’ve had some people come and go. I do remember that, but I don’t remember the first

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Matt Bando: couple meetings at all.

David Hirsch: So what’s been your most important takeaway from the weekly Mastermind group meetings?

Matt Bando: I really enjoy seeing the guys. Really. No matter if whatever we say, sometimes we don’t accomplish a lot, and sometimes we accomplish a ton. You know, there’s no rhyme or reason. I mean, we do have a set kind of schedule and pattern that we do, but for the most part, the takeaway is just, checking in and emotionally and mentally being in that space. You don’t need to be reminded that you have a child with special needs, but you have to be reminded on some other things at different levels. And knowing the guys is nice. Especially the fact that everybody has their child, has something different, is quite unique. And if you could just take away a little bit from each person, I think that’s just a blessing in itself.

David Hirsch: Absolutely. So as part of the Mastermind group experience, we read and discuss six books a year and then do a zoom call with the author, which has been your favorite book and author.

Matt Bando: That would be Bonner Paddock.

David Hirsch: Paddock.

Matt Bando: That one was neat. I mean, the books are all. They’re all good. Some I gravitate more to than others, but, they’re all intriguing, even the last one. And again, it’s escaping me, the medal honor winner from Vietnam. That one was really cool, too.

David Hirsch: From Zero to Hero.

Matt Bando: Zero to Hero.

David Hirsch: Yeah.

Matt Bando: Yeah. And it was really was really neat because, like, those two books that we mentioned, they start kind of about their life, Right. So it’s. It gives a nice pattern, you know, from their childhood on up, this is his life. And you can take those situations or those things that other people experience and incorporate them into your life emotionally and mentally and stuff, and know that people go through tough things at all times.

David Hirsch: Absolutely. So at the heart of the Mastermind group experience is what we call dad in the middle, where two dads per meeting share a challenge they’re wrestling with. What have those dad in the middle segments meant to you and why?

Matt Bando: Yeah, it’s neat. And again, you can laugh at me a little bit. There’s been times where I’m dad in the middle and I have nothing. You know, there’s no pressure. It’s kind of a neat opportunity if somebody wants to express something or share something that they’re struggling with. Or it could be a good thing, or it could be something that happened at school with your child, and you were like, hey, guys, have you experienced this at school or. I’ve talked about people parking in, you know, the accessibility parking spots or going to a sporting event or whatever. So it can be really anything that you want to talk about.

David Hirsch: So each fall, the 21st Century Dads foundation hosts its annual Special Fathers Network Mastermind Group weekend retreat. What’s been your favorite aspect of the Mastermind Group, retreat, and why?

Matt Bando: Well, I’ve been around enough for two, but I only went to one, and the one in St. Louis. I was on zoom call with you guys, but obviously I’ve only been to one, and it was in Chicago, and I had never experienced one, but it was. It was really cool. It was really good to meet the guys from the other group. And the warmth I got from the guys that I didn’t even know from the other groups. A couple of them acted like they’d known me forever, which was just. It was awesome. I did enjoy Tom Driesen when he spoke. What a great speaker. What a great story. So people don’t know that during this weekend you have a speaker come in. And, that was neat. But the whole. I loved every minute of our weekend. It was a lot of fun. I liked it a lot.

David Hirsch: Yeah. Well, thanks for your, help in planning that as well.

Matt Bando: Yes.

David Hirsch: So regarding the financial commitment, the Special Fathers Network Mastermind Group dads invest anywhere from $50 to $200 a month according to their financial wherewith. What would you say to the dad who’s interested in the Mastermind group but concerned about the financial commitment?

Matt Bando: I guess that’s a. If somebody had an issue, that’s an open conversation, they can have, like, anything. You have to try it. Right. I think the commitment financially helps. You know, obviously it helps pay for the books and when we get together, and that’s worth it alone when we get together for a retreat once a year. But I’m sure that if you just like anything in life, you can figure things out, and, if you like it enough, then you’ll be able to commit.

David Hirsch: So I’m thinking about advice. Can you share some advice for a dad who might be sitting on the fence about joining the Mastermind Group?

Matt Bando: Yeah, you know, until you settle in and get to know the guys, I mean, I think it would be really hard at the beginning to, you know, kind of. You got to massage into things sometimes. Right. So my advice is listen what the guys have to say, kind of get the rhythm of what’s going on and go from there. We’ve had guys that we’ve never met before that jump in the first time. They’re on and they’re. They’re gung ho. And we’ve had other guys that are very, very quiet. And again, there’s nights I. We do this once, once a week. There’s nights when I’m off, too. Like, sometimes I’m like, I want to be there, but, like, mentally or emotionally, I’m not all there. But my advice is give it a try. I mean, I admitted at the beginning this, like, I was like, whatever. I wasn’t, like, really interested. And until I tried it and I’m like, oh, no. I’ve got so much stuff going on. And there’s always an excuse not to do something right in life. But, it’s like a nice T shirt that you have. It just fits well.

David Hirsch: Good advice.

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Is there anything else you’d like to say before we wrap up?

Matt Bando: Yeah, join. You know, take the bike for a ride. We have two groups. We’re going to have more groups. We’re trying to grow. There’s times where I jump on the Wednesday night group, and I did that after our first retreat, and I would just jump in because I like the guys so much. I do Tuesday night and Wednesday night. I’ve done that. Doesn’t mind because I got to know the other guys in the other group. It’s just like anything, if you just make it a routine, then. And then it’s just automatic.

David Hirsch: Yeah. It becomes a habit if you’re consistent about things.

Matt Bando: Yeah.

David Hirsch: So if somebody wants to contact you, what’s the best way to do so?

Matt Bando: They can just call me 630-362-1151. I work for myself. I can take any calls anytime. I’m free to talk at any time you want. That’s it. That’s the easiest way.

David Hirsch: Okay. I’ll be sure to include that in the show notes. Maybe put your LinkedIn connection there, your email, and then, a link to your episode number 237 for the Dad to Dad Podcast. Matt, thank you for your time and many insights. As a reminder, Matt is just one of the dads who’s created to be a mentor father as part of the Special Fathers Network and who’s also involved with the Special Fathers Network Mastermind Group. For more information on the Special Fathers Network and the Mastermind Group, please go to 21stCenturyDads.org Additional links can also be found in the show notes. Matt, thanks again.

Matt Bando: Thanks, Dave.

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