336 – Mastermind Group Monday with Joe Lofino of Greenville, OH

Transcript:

Joe Lofino: But my gosh, just meeting with you guys, that was just, that was great. Being with the guys. There’s nothing like it. And when we went on the walk, the river walk and next to the lake, of course, being with you guys would be the biggest. I mean, that’s the whole weekend, I guess. Yeah. Those would be my favorite memories right now.

David Hirsch: Hi, I’m David Hirsch, host of the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast. Now with more than 300 weekly episodes every Friday since 2018, we’ve been shining a bright light on the positive and uplifting aspects of raising children with disabilities and inspiring dads, stepdads, granddads and father figures to be more present physically, emotionally and spiritually. Welcome to the new Special Fathers Network Mastermind Group Monday Podcast. I’ll be interviewing Mastermind Group dads who will reflect on the positive impact the Mastermind Group experience has had on them and the well-being of their families. As a reminder, the SFN mastermind group experience is the most comprehensive program the 21st Century Dad’s foundation offers. Dads raising children with special needs, meet virtually on a weekly basis and form meaningful relationships while sharing weekly wins, discussing books and sharing heartfelt challenges. One of the highlights of the year is attending an in-person weekend retreat. We’re launching 10 new SFN mastermind groups in 2024 with 10 dads per group. That means we’re only looking for 10 like-minded dads in each community. If you’re a dad raising a child with special needs, we hope you’ll join a local SFN Mastermind group and make the investment to become the best version of yourself. For more information, please see the show notes or simply go to 21stCenturyDads.org. Happy listening.

David Hirsch: I’m thrilled to be talking today with my friend Joe Lofino of Greenville, Ohio, who’s the owner of Walnut Grove Cabinet Company and father of three young children, two of which have been diagnosed with Fragile X. Joe, thank you for taking the time to do a podcast interview for the Mastermind Group Monday.

Joe Lofino: Absolutely, yeah. Thanks for having me.

David Hirsch: David, you and your wife Jen have been married for 11 years and are the proud parents of three Josh, 7, Joanna, 6, and Junie, 2. The older two were diagnosed with Fragile X, which is a leading cause for intellectual disabilities like autism. You’ve been involved with the Special Fathers Network for more than five years. Your Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast episode 95 aired in April of 2020. You were one of the first members of the Wednesday night SFN Mastermind Group and you’ve Attended each of the Mastermind Group weekend retreats. A lot has changed since we recorded your initial podcast interview four years ago. Please provide an update.

Joe Lofino: Oh, gosh, yeah. Update four years ago. Oh, man. So I would have been 29, now that I think about it. When we first started talking then. Yeah, the last four years have been filled with a ton of. We moved. We decided to have our third child. We acquired, my previous employers. We changed the name from Overalls or Cabinets over to Walnut Grove Cabinet Company. Same guys, different name, different location. Been really busy with that. We’ve just got back from Orlando. We went to the National Fragile X International Conference. We should have probably flown, but we drove. So we took all three kids down and got to meet some people. And actually we ran into people that only live about an hour away from us. And then we just met another couple earlier this week that have sons that are 30 and 27 with Fragile X. So we’re starting to actually meet people, which is super encouraging. And then the last thing I should say before I forget is the company’s actually able to do that scholarship for a gentleman from Dark County. So we’re keeping it really local. Any father with a child with special needs or father figure, we’ve just had an awesome year and this year for being, you know, owning a business and. Oh, man. Yeah, a lot’s happened, so a lot of good things. And. Yeah, thanks for asking.

David Hirsch: Thanks for the update. So, what attracted you to get involved in the Special Fathers Network way back when?

Joe Lofino: You know, I was thinking about why I got involved with it, and I guess to sum it up is you kind of feel like a minority, and it is a paradox. White male majority. But then you throw yourself into special needs and you feel excluded from life like you used to know it. You go to family events, you’ve got special needs kids. It’s just a little bit different. You’re going to the grocery store, schooling’s a little bit different. Everything is different. Your co workers don’t understand the change that’s happening. It’s just like that in life. So I went on Apple podcasts, and

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Joe Lofino: I don’t know what I searched, but special dads helped me. Something like that. And you guys popped up, started listening to the first couple of episodes and then filled out the form on the website. And then you reached out and, it’s been gangbusters ever since.

David Hirsch: Pretty wild.

Joe Lofino: Yeah.

David Hirsch: So what did you understand about the mastermind group before you got involved?

Joe Lofino: Well, I guess my recollection of a mastermind group was something I did in college called a success networking team. And it was a little bit different, but definitely a different format. Small groups at church, things like that is what I would have likened it to. But after being here for four years, doing it now, the structure is a lot different, a little more organized, better use of your time than those kinds of groups. Success networking team was pretty good in college, though. We were. We were pretty focused, too. So that would have been my mind about it. Yeah.

David Hirsch: Back then, what was it like attending those first handful of meetings, those weekly meetings?

Joe Lofino: Oh, man, I remember those. Yeah, it was, a little nerve wracking because, you know, you’re still pretty tight. You know, you’re. You’re not able to loosen up maybe and be as open as. As we are now with each other. They were still good meetings, but, you know, you have to kind of build a relationship with the guys you’re around.

David Hirsch: So what is attending the weekly meeting meant to you?

Joe Lofino: It’s changed my life drastically. I don’t know if we would have had our third child because Fragile X is a genetic thing, so it was kind of risky. And I should mention all three of our kids, full mutation. Fragile X just doesn’t show up in the girls so much. Yeah. So we discovered that just recently with, Junie and everything. So we were willing to risk it. And it was just a, you know, I think it’s a personal decision with your spouse and yourself, and I think you guys helped with that. And Junie’s been just a thrill. Oh, my gosh. You can’t. I can’t tell you how much light she brings to the family. And so there’s that also owning a business. I don’t think I would have had the courage to jump in, develop the skill sets. I mean, you guys have been instrumental in all of those things, and those are key part. Those are pillars of my life, you know, so it’s. It’s changed things drastically for me.

David Hirsch: Yeah, well, I’ve, noticed the growth from when you first got involved. It’s palpable. As part of the Special Fathers Network Mastermind group experience, we read and discuss six books a year and then do a zoom call with the authors, which has been the most impactful book or memorable book for you.

Joe Lofino: Aaron Walker, of course, was great because I got to meet him. His book, View from the Top, I mean, he’s kind of the mastermind guy. Because I met him. I think I have a different feeling on that. So that was, like, right there with it. I’m sorry. I had to have two. But Jim Stovall, the Ultimate Gift, it helps frame a meaningful life. And just the power of that guy being blind for, I don’t know how many, 30-40 years now, and just knowing that you’re going to lose your eyesight, being honest and authentic about the struggle for the first year or two of it and then transforming the world through where they do the closed captioning, where somebody can hear the, you know, what happened in the movie, because I can’t tell, because, you know, I can’t see it. So just transforming the world, writing so many books. I mean, the guy was just out there, but I haven’t gotten to meet him face to face. So it’s just a different, different feel, I think.

David Hirsch: Yeah, well, very insightful. Aaron Walker is the mastermind of, mastermind groups. that’s where we got the whole concept from. So we want to give him attribution. And then Jim Stovall, literally, of all the people I’ve ever met in my entire life, would be in the top three or five people as far as the impact or the influence he’s had. What an amazing human being he is about the importance of, visioning things even though he can’t see. Right. And the impact that he’s had on millions, tens of millions of people. So, we’re in the same boat. At the heart of the Mastermind Group experience is what we call dad in the middle, where two dads per meeting share a challenge they’re wrestling with. What have those dad in the middle segments meant to you and why are they important?

Joe Lofino: Yeah, so like I said just a minute ago, those are where I got my ideas for founding a business, for having a third child, for moving, for just different life decisions, different therapies for Josh, different schooling techniques. all those kinds of things come from, how to deal with all this

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Joe Lofino: stuff mentally, mental toughness towards how to lead your family, managing your finances. All these things. I have gotten just innumerable recommendations. And I mean, when you have six different guys giving you ideas, it’s just. Yeah, you can’t get that anywhere else. So, yeah, Dads in the Middle would be a pinnacle of the meetings.

David Hirsch: Yeah, absolutely. So each fall, the 21st Century Dads foundation hosts its annual SFN, mastermind group weekend retreat. What has been your favorite Mastermind group retreat experience and why?

Joe Lofino: You know, I was thinking it was the Tennessee one, but I think the one in Chicago last year was just. I mean, maybe it’s because it’s more current. But my gosh, just, meeting with you guys having. I. I can’t remember his name.

David Hirsch: The comedian Tom Treason.

Joe Lofino: Yeah. So he’s before my time. You know, Frank Sinatra and all that. That was just. That was great. Being with the guys. There’s nothing like it. And when we went on the walk, the. The riverwalk and, you know, next to the lake and of course, being with you guys would be the biggest, I mean, that’s the whole weekend, I guess. But, yeah, those would be my favorite memories right now. Experiences. Yeah.

David Hirsch: So, regarding the financial commitment, the SFN mastermind group dads invest anywhere from $50 to $200 per month according to their financial wherewithal. What would you say to the dad who’s interested in the mastermind group but concerned about making the financial commitment?

Joe Lofino: Yeah, so that’s always a funny discussion to have. So when you’re thinking about investing in something, it’s a commitment, and so it’s almost without putting a stake in the ground, putting some kind of skin in the game, you’re not going to get as much out of it. Just in every part of our life that we. We’re generous in where we give, you know, you. You’re not going to, to have as much skin in the game. So there’s that part. But I’d also say, and not to sidewind, but you’re gonna get more out of it than you put into it. It’s just inevitable. So that’d be my take on it, is you’re gonna make an investment. You’re investing in yourself and, your family. And as you go through, you’re going to find that you are gaining. So, I mean, really, that the time commitment is going to be probably greater than the financial commitment. So as long as you’ve got the time to invest, the money is just a, you know, side thing.

David Hirsch: Yeah, good point. The time commitment is much more valuable than the, what might seem significant, but modest financial commitment.

David Hirsch: I’m thinking about advice, and I’m wondering, what advice can you share with a guy who’s on the fence about joining the Mastermind group?

Joe Lofino: I’d say, first off, you have to ask yourself a question. And it is. It’s a silly question, maybe, but it’s a simple one that if you don’t answer it, then I don’t think you should really join. And it would be, am I ready to grow? Am I willing to grow? Do I want to grow? Framing that question, do I want to grow? Am I willing to grow? Like, if you’re not willing to grow and change, then you’re not ready because there’s no point in it then. Right. So am I ready to grow? Yes. Try it for a year. I’d say commit to a year. And that’s only 52 meetings or 51, depending. Right. Answer that question. And then if the answer is yes, jump in, do it for a year, and you’ll be glad.

David Hirsch: Yeah. Well, I think you raise an interesting point, which is if you’ve got it all figured out, maybe you don’t need something like this. But if there is a doubt in your mind and there is an opportunity to grow, beyond where you’re at, then, maybe this would be a good fit. And, I would argue you don’t need a year. You probably don’t even need six months. Right. If you attended a handful of meetings, you’ll know within a very short period of time if this is something, you know, that would be right for you. But, thanks. I like that concept about growth.

Joe Lofino: Yeah, you’d find out quickly if it was worth it. But, you know, that growth you’ll start to see, you know. Yeah. You’ll take off.

David Hirsch: So is there anything else you’d like to say before we wrap up?

Joe Lofino: Ah, thanks. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Thanks for giving me a shot, giving me a chance, and investing so much of your time in me and, all of the guys I would say that to, because they’re gonna watch this later, I’m sure. Thanks for investing in me. I’m much, better off for it and very thankful for you guys time too. You’re investing time, you know, and it’s, it’s both sides, so yeah.

David Hirsch: Well, we’re thrilled to have you. Thank you for being involved. If somebody wants to contact you, what’s the best way to do

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David Hirsch: so?

Joe Lofino: Oh, yeah, geez. I’d say shoot me a text or shoot me an email. Either way, my cell phone’s 937-232-9870 and my email address would be joe. It’s j o e @walnutgrovecabinet.co.

David Hirsch: I’ll be sure to include that information in the show notes that I’ll make it as easy as possible for somebody to follow up. Okay, Joe, thank you for your time and many insights. As a reminder, Joe is just one of the dads who’s agreed to be a Special Fathers Network mentor father and who’s been involved with the Special Fathers Network mastermind group. For more information on the Special Fathers Network and the Special Fathers Network Mastermind Group, please go to 21stCenturyDads.org. Additional links can also be found in the show notes. Joe, thanks again.

Joe Lofino: Thank you, David.

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