342 – Mastermind Group Monday Podcast Agust Kristmanns of Reykjavík, Iceland

Transcript:

Agust Kristmanns: It was like walking into a family reunion or family, you know, gathering. You know, you felt all the love and respect from all of the guys and just, it was so nice to be able to listen to all the, all of the guys and get inspired. And some of the guys are just amazing, amazing people.

David Hirsch: Hi, I’m David Hirsch, host of the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast. Now with more than 300 weekly episodes every Friday since 2018, we’ve been shining a bright light on the positive and uplifting aspects of raising children with disabilities and inspiring dads, stepdads, granddads and father figures to be more present physically, emotionally and spiritually. Welcome to the new Special Fathers Network Mastermind Group Monday Podcast. I’ll be interviewing Mastermind Group dads who will reflect on the positive impact the Mastermind Group experience has had on them and the well-being of their families. As a reminder, the SFN Mastermind Group experience is the most comprehensive program the 21st Century Dads foundation offers. Dads raising children with special needs meet virtually on a weekly basis and form meaningful relationships while sharing weekly wins, discussing books and sharing heartfelt challenges. One of the highlights of the year is attending an in-person weekend retreat. We’re launching 10 new SFN mastermind groups in 2020 with 10 dads per group. That means we’re only looking for 10 like-minded dads in each community. If you’re a dad raising a child with special needs, we hope you’ll join a local SFN Mastermind group and make the investment to become the best version of yourself. For more information, please see the show notes or simply go to 21stCenturyDads.org. Happy listening.

David Hirsch: I am thrilled to be talking today with my friend Agust Kristmanns of Reykjavik, Iceland, a father of three who works as an electrician and serves as a board member of Unique Children of Iceland, also known as Einstokborn. Agust, thank you for taking the time to do a Mastermind Group Monday interview for the Special Fathers Network.

Agust Kristmanns: Thank you for having me.

David Hirsch: You and your wife Maria, have been married for 26 years and the proud parents of three children, Asta Mary, 26, Sarah Dogg, 18 and middle child son Ingi, who was diagnosed with 2Q37 deletion syndrome, a rare chromosome condition that affects his development. You’ve been involved with the Special Fathers Network for more than three years. Your SFN Dad to Dad Podcast episode number 182 aired in January 2022 and you’re one of the first members of the London Special Fathers Network Mastermind Group and recently attended the 2024 mastermind group weekend retreat in Chicago. A lot has changed since we recorded your initial interview two and a half years ago. Would you please provide us with a brief update?

Agust Kristmanns: Yeah, yeah. Three years. That’s a long time on. This time, Ingi has moved to rehabilitation center where he is independently living with assistance and is having intensive therapy to help him with postures for lowering the pain that he has 24/7. And finally he is going to move in January to a permanent home with assistance with a few other disabled young people. And yeah, that’s a great milestone. And yeah, life has just been up and down and right now we are finding our feet after a very hard winter.

David Hirsch: So I’m sort of curious to know why did you get involved with the Special Fathers Network or what attracted you to get involved with the Special Fathers Network way back when, I.

Agust Kristmanns: First heard about the Special Father Network when I was trying to find something meaningful because I felt alone with all my problems and was depressed big time. And stumbled on the virtual meeting conference and assigned to that just to take a peek, just give it 10 minutes or 15 minutes and then go away because I was not ready to take part in such a thing. But I stayed a little bit longer and then

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Agust Kristmanns: breakout rooms came and I ended up in few breakout rooms but I didn’t talk in the two first breakout rooms because I turned off the mic and the camera because I just wanted to see what was happening. And in the third breakout room there was a guy, I really don’t remember his name but he repeatedly asked me to just tell my name and show myself nothing else. But that opened a floodgate of feelings for me that I was not alone and I could relate to somebody else following that. I, I think I contacted you because I was so intrigued about this dad to dad concept. There was no such thing in Iceland. So I got help from instant but unique children to set up dead to death meetings for deaths of kids with rare diseases here in Iceland. And that has grown. I think I’ve been doing that for three years and I think I’ve just based with over 40 deaths, both here in the capital area and also in Akureyri in the north of the country where I travel few times a year.

David Hirsch: Yeah, well thank you for taking that important first step and just listening. It is amazing that these virtual conferences that we’ve been doing now for four years, since 2020. I guess it’s been five years now. Have had a reach that we would have never expected. Right. We were usually just meeting with local dads. And then because of COVID we were forced to go, virtual. And it opened up the programs to people not only around the US but all over the world.

David Hirsch: And we’re just thrilled to have a group of Iceland dads like yourself involved in the Special Fathers Network. So let’s focus on the Mastermind group. What was your understanding about the Mastermind Group concept before you joined?

Agust Kristmanns: I really didn’t know much about the, mastermind groups. I was busy just taking care of the dads here in Iceland and wasn’t focusing or interesting in mastermind groups until you and Nathan asked me to join a Mastermind group in the States. Then Nathan contacted me and asked me to be a part of the, London Master group.

David Hirsch: So what was it like attending your first couple Mastermind Group weekly meetings?

Agust Kristmanns: It was a little bit frightening, you know, meeting some guys from another country teams. We expected to, talk about my feelings. But as soon as we, started the meeting, we, all felt like we knew each other for a lifetime. So it was very easy to just start right away and talk about our feelings and troubles and give each other, advices.

David Hirsch: So at the heart of the Mastermind Group experience is what we call dad in the middle. Where two dads per meeting share a challenge they’re wrestling with. What have those dad in the Middle segments meant to you and why are they important?

Agust Kristmanns: Dad in the middle is a fantastic way to get a load of your chest regarding both problems with, your special kid, your wife, your family, your work. Seek advice or just be hurt. And there are nobody judging you or telling you what to do. They are advising. And also just by being there, the tent in the middle have helped me a lot.

David Hirsch: Yeah, well, they are a unique experience to talk about things that you might not otherwise be able to talk about openly. And like you said, no judgment, even though the dads might not have a identical situation to your own. You know, we each struggle and it’s a very healthy environment to talk about things and get some feedback. So thank you for sharing.

Agust Kristmanns: Yeah.

David Hirsch: Each fall,

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David Hirsch: the 21st Century Dads foundation hosts its annual SFN Mastermind Group Weekend retreat. You were able to attend your first retreat just a couple weeks ago. Now, what was your favorite experience and why?

Agust Kristmanns: First of all, thank, you for having us over. It was, fantastic. Yeah, like you said, it’s my first retreat and, it was just, just amazing. It was like walking into a family reunion or family, you know, gathering you know you felt all the love and respect from all of the guys and just, it was so nice to be able to listen to all the, all of the guys and get inspired and because there are so many different stories that you can take pointers from and, and some of the guys are just amazing, amazing people getting another perspective on things, you know, because you’re always thinking the, the grass is always greener on the other side but realizing that, that even though we are you know, in a different country, we are all dealing with more or less the same things but maybe in a different scale. It seems like no matter where you are in the world of special needs, it’s always the same battle and the same problems. It was a fantastic, fantastic time.

David Hirsch: What was your favorite activity?

Agust Kristmanns: Listening to the guys at the meetings at the hotel and also the dinner at ah, the Italian restaurant. It was just amazing. Both the food and also I had a very, very great and meaningful conversations with all of the guys, especially around my table with fantastic, fantastic people like Jeff and Ian. It was just such a gaming night out.

David Hirsch: It was a lot of fun and we had a lot of food. Way too much food.

Agust Kristmanns: Oh yeah, yeah.

David Hirsch: Regarding the financial commitment that the Mastermind group dads invest anywhere from $50 to $200 a month according to their financial wherewithal. What would you say to a dad who’s interested in the Mastermind group but concerned about making a financial commitment?

Agust Kristmanns: I think it’s very important to be able to be surrounded by like minded debts which are dealing with more or less the same things that you are, 100%.

David Hirsch: So I’m thinking about advice. What advice can you share with a dad who’s on the fence about joining the Mastermind group?

Agust Kristmanns: I think it’s more or less like when I went to the virtual conference. Just try it. I think you will soon see what the benefit. The benefit is to have a brotherhood of men that understand you and respect you. And I think you don’t have to go to many meetings to experience that. So go to a meeting and give it a sense.

David Hirsch: Yeah. Well it’s like a lot of things in life, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Agust Kristmanns: Yeah.

David Hirsch: And if you don’t try, you know, you really don’t know if it’s going to be something that would be a good fit for you. So I think that that attitude that you have, that willingness to step into an environment that you’re not familiar with. Get outside your comfort zone. It’s where the growth takes place. It’s where the learning takes place. So I think that’s great advice. Is there anything else you’d like to say before we wrap up?

Agust Kristmanns: I just want to thank you guys for the opportunity, to be able to attend the, retreat with you and Nathan and to involve me in the mastermind and give me a chance to meet all these fantastic guys that I love to have be my brothers for life. Because as soon as you meet those guys, you are their brother. We are each other brothers.

David Hirsch: Absolutely.

Agust Kristmanns: Thank you. Thank you.

David Hirsch: Yeah. Well, the feelings are mutual. So if somebody wants to contact you, what’s the best way to do so?

Agust Kristmanns: By email. It’s Agust.Kristmanns

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Agust Kristmanns: @gmail.com.

David Hirsch: Okay.

Agust Kristmanns: Also, I can give you my phone number. It’s, area code 354-698-5651. Just text me or call me whenever you you need.

David Hirsch: I’ll be sure to include that information in the show notes, so it’ll make it as easy as possible for somebody to follow up with you. August, thank you for your time and many insights. As a reminder, August is just one of the dads who’s agreed to be part of the Special Fathers Network mastermind group. For more information on, the Special Fathers Network and the Special Fathers Network mastermind group, please go to 21stCenturyDads.org. Additional information can be found in the show notes as well. Agust, thanks again.

Agust Kristmanns: Thank you. Thank you for having me.

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