375 – Jamiel Owens of Hatfield, PA Volunteer Firefighter, Disability Advocate & Father Of a Child Who Is Autistic

Transcript:

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Jamiel Owens: I had a dad reach out to me one day and he said, my son is outside in the rain and he won’t come in from the rain. He says he’s literally laying on the ground and letting the rain hit him. He’s getting all soaked. And I said, well, why don’t you go out there and join him? He said, why would I do that? And I said, for one second in his life, your son is in heaven. He is connecting in a way that you could never imagine and he is having fun doing it. Why don’t you share that experience with him? So an hour or two went by, he called me back and he said, Jay, thank you. He said, I went out there and I literally laid against my will, but I laid out on the ground and I connected with my son.

David Hirsch: That’s our guest this week, Jamiel Owens, a volunteer firefighter, advocate for those with disability, founder of Ausomeness Inc. And a father of two, including a son who is autistic. We’ll hear Jamiel’s thoughts on life and his life story on this Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast. Now say hello to the founder of the Special Fathers Network and host of the Dad to Dad Podcast, David Hirsch.

David Hirsch: Hi, I’m David Hirsch, host of the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast. Two short messages. First, I’d like to invite you to attend the 6th Annual SFN Dads Virtual Conference taking place via Zoom on Saturday, May 10th at 8:00am Central Time. We have a great roster of speakers and there will be plenty of time for breakouts to meet like minded dads who are committed to their children and self improvement. Secondly, the Special Fathers Network Mastermind Group experience is the most comprehensive program the 21st Century Dads foundation offers. Dads raising children with special needs, meet virtually on a weekly basis and form meaningful relationships while sharing weekly wins, discussing books and sharing heartfelt challenges. One of the highlights of the year is attending an in person weekend retreat scheduled this year from September 5th to the 7th. As you think about the year ahead, I invite you to join one of the existing or soon to be formed SFN Mastermind Groups and join a group of like-minded dads to become the best version of yourself. It might just transform your life like it’s done for so many others. For more information, please go to the show notes or simply go to 21stCenturyDads.org.

Tom Couch: Now let’s listen in to this conversation between Jamiel Owens and David Hirsch.

David Hirsch: I’m thrilled to be talking today with Jamiel Owens of Hatfield, Pennsylvania, who’s a volunteer firefighter and outspoken advocate for those with disability, creator of Ausomeness Inc. And father of two, including one with autism. Jamil, thank you for taking the time to do a podcast interview for the Special Fathers Network.

Jamiel Owens: Thank you. I appreciate the space and the opportunity.

David Hirsch: You and your wife, Marta Santa, have been married for five years and you are the proud father of two children, Alejandro, 3, and Shane, 16, who’s autistic. Let’s start with some background. Where did you grow up? Tell me something about your family.

Jamiel Owens: Oh, man. So I grew up in Houston, Texas, Harris county, but quickly moved up to North Philadelphia. That’s where I was raised in. Raised at, excuse me. So I’ve been a Philadelphian all my life, I would say, but I still have those deep roots for down south. I love Houston. The family is generations of elders. So it’s an elderly family. Few of us are young, but, not too many, I should particularly say.

David Hirsch: Do you have any siblings when you’re growing up?

Jamiel Owens: Yes, I do have a younger brother, Kenneth Owens. He came on a little bit later on in my path. And the reason why, just like any only child, is that we need a playmate. Right. So, I asked for it and I received. He’s a grown man and doing great at life, at what he, he wants to do.

David Hirsch: Was he like a Christmas present one year under the Christmas tree?

Jamiel Owens: I wouldn’t say the Christmas present, I wouldn’t say that. But he was definitely, eye opener to how I was when I was little. To my mother. No, but all jokes aside, he definitely, was a blessing to be around in the time that I did have with him and to be able to see a part of me because he literally is a part of me as far as sibling-wise. But it’s great to see him conquer a lot of things that I wasn’t able to do.

David Hirsch: That’s fabulous. So, I’m sort of curious to know, what does your dad do for a living?

Jamiel Owens: So my dad, currently, right now he’s actually into construction. So he is a operator of a cement

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Jamiel Owens: truck, for a well known company in Ohio, I think.

David Hirsch: In a prior conversation you mentioned that your dad was in Philadelphia, but he moved to Ohio. And I’m sort of curious now, what was the situation? What’s the backstory there?

Jamiel Owens: So a lot of it. I’m gonna be transparent with you. A lot of it, I really don’t know, because my dad actually was absent from my life, when I was younger. So that move up to Philadelphia when I was around one years old, maybe one and a half, he was not with me and my mother. So my dad came later on in my life, in my 20s, around 23, 24. Unfortunately, he was incarcerated for some time, due to a crime that I never questioned him for. The only question that was posed against us when he came back into my life, which he searched for me, was, will you forgive me and will you accept me into your life? And I said, yes.

David Hirsch: That’s very powerful. There’s a lot to be said for the, importance of forgiveness. Right. You know, you think you’re doing it for the other person, and you realize you’re doing it for yourself. So, thank you for sharing. So I know that your relationship with your dad was sort of like, off on, off again, on again. but how would you characterize your relationship with your dad?

Jamiel Owens: I characterize this, and I sum this up, and I don’t want to speak too ahead of what, you know, some of the questions you want to ask me, But God knew exactly what he was doing by keeping him away from me until he was ready to be a solid man, an example for me.

David Hirsch: Yeah. Very important insight. Thank you for sharing any, lessons learned, important takeaways that you think about when you think about your dad and then your own fathering.

Jamiel Owens: Kind of like, go with the flow, you know, his. His real attitude. My dad’s attitude is really easygoing. He speaks up when he needs to speak up, but he’s not a man of really very violence, not anymore violence or temperament. He just really wants to, you know, just live out his last years, you know, be responsible, take care of him and his wife and his family, us, and. And just really be there for his grandchildren. That’s really what his focus is right now. And that gave me a sense of what it looks like to be present as a man, you know, just speaking, you know, and transparent. Right now, I’m, you know, constantly working and doing so many different projects, but how much of that time is actually being present in the moment? And we have difficulties with that. But I’m learning, and I have a positive role model to actually learn this from. So I’m deeply, you know, blessed and humbled and excited to interact with my dad every chance I get.

David Hirsch: Yeah, well, I’m really pleased to hear that. And you know, sometimes you have to make mistakes to appreciate what’s important or what you have. And it sounds like, his commitment, his interest, in being present, you know, just continues to grow. You know, there is an important role to him for him to play, not only in your life, but now in the life of your kids, his grandkids. So, yeah, I’m thinking about other father influencers and I’m wondering if there’s any other people that come to mind, grandparents or others that played an influential role in your life.

Jamiel Owens: So there’s one that I can really think about. His name was Mr. Charles Stubbs, and he was a next door neighbor of my great grandmother when me and my mom was living with her and subsequently later on in my life when I moved in with her briefly. And this gentleman has really, really impacted the way I look at the word sympathetic, you know, and empathy. And I still remember him to this day. The craziest thing. I still remember his touch like the – It’s something that you hear out of one of these novels that kind of talk about the 1930s and how descriptive they are about the gentlemen and what they wear and maybe the – some of the creases in their hands. I still remember his embrace, his warm gestures, his feeling he will ever be a part of my life. I can never forget his name or who he was.

David Hirsch: That’s impactful. Any specific stories that come to mind when you think of Charles Stubbs?

Jamiel Owens: Yes. Every time I would actually come over to my great grandmother’s house, he would give me a dollar. It would never fail, even if it was change. He will always come over to give me a dollar. And what that actually did, and I had to even think about this after our initial conversation, after we talked and learned a little bit about each other, is consistency. How many of us men can honestly say that we are consistent in a way that we love our loved ones, we struggle every single day. I seem to really think and see

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Jamiel Owens: that for our ancestors and our grandparents during that time, that era, that consistency was above all else. It was above work. It was just something that was embedded and he was always consistent. But what that showed me was that as a man who didn’t have that father figure, that I had someone to count on. He was not blood related to us at all, just only a next door favorite to my grandma. But he treated me like, like I was his own grandchild. It was a beautiful thing and with that dollar, he was always come over, he will hug, he wouldn’t embrace me. He would ask me, how’s everything going? Even though my times of sadness, he would give me that dollar. It was just always consistent. And that was his token. Even though it was a dollar, it was like, well, what would you get with the dollar? It really wasn’t a message. The message was, I’m here no matter what.

David Hirsch: Yeah, I love it. And in fact, I remember you sharing that with me before. And it brought to mind my own grandfather. And shortly after he passed away, we were at his funeral and my younger brother mentioned, he’s really going to miss Gramps. And, I said, well, yeah, we’re all going to miss him. He goes, yeah, I’m really going to miss that $20 handshake that I always got when we got together. I’m like, what are you talking about? What $20 handshake? I never got a $20 handshake. He goes, every time I saw him, he gave me $20. I’m like, okay. Anyway, I thought that was pretty enlightening. And it is very powerful. Right. when people are consistent. And my grandfather was super consistent in his message and being present and all that. So we’re very fortunate to have men like that in our lives. Under the banner of being transparent. You had mentioned that, you know, you didn’t finish high school.

Jamiel Owens: Yeah.

David Hirsch: Which, you know, is not something that we’re going to focus on so much. But to say that, you know, you got your GED and I’m wondering, where, where did life take you?

Jamiel Owens: It was only two choices. Either you’re going to go back to school or you’re going to go to work. And the mindset that I had, the anger that I had because of what life threw me at that point in time, ushered me to go directly into work, get my ged, work multiple jobs. At one point, I have four or five different jobs. That’s a whole another conversation down a rabbit hole, because it didn’t even make sense. But I, was really trying to compensate for the pain, the frustration, the anger, the loneliness, the depression in which I was feeling as a man, which I think a lot of us go through. We go through this internally, and we don’t get the opportunity to be open in safe spaces. Not a lot. And then 50% of us, we don’t really open up when we do have the opportunity. But, yeah, it was unfortunate. I urge if there are any men out here and I know we see a lot when it comes down to mental health, especially for men in this day and age, especially today. But I urge for not only the adults, but for the younger generation to really be open about what is going on in your mind and in your heart. This is the only way that we are going to overcome a lot of different obstacles in society today.

David Hirsch: So what type of work did you do and what are you doing now?

Jamiel Owens: So I mentioned I had about four or five jobs at a time, right? I did say I kept on. It was just four or five jobs at a time. I’ve done everything from retail to working at a janitorial position. Security, armed security. I was a corrections officer, for 18 months. And in Delaware, I was a train operator with Paco. I’ve been all over the place, and the core of it set aside a lot of my transgressions, which I was going through personally. But the core of everything that I did, if you listen to just the list I gave you, was to serve other people. So I always had a spirit of servitude to help people. Now, obviously, you know, we look at TV and as a man, what is the ultimate way to serve? To serve and protect law enforcement. Right. So that was more of my angle of what I wanted to do, what I thought serving could actually be. What I’m doing now, though, is me in the right place in my purpose, but serving. And that’s at CHOP, the center for Autism Research, as the family relations coordinator.

David Hirsch: Yeah, I love it. And like I said, you can’t connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect the dots looking backward. And, you’ve made a lot of yourself, you know, with a limited education, and I’m really proud of what you’ve been able to accomplish.

Jamiel Owens: Thank you. Thank you.

David Hirsch: I’m sort of curious to know, how did you and Marta meet?

Jamiel Owens: So, me, and Marta, we were friends back during my first marriage. We were just strictly friends. She followed my journey on social media, Facebook of me and my son Shane, and, you know, things that I was going through, trying to understand everything that was going on with the diagnosis. And she was always encouraging. So even through my divorce, encouraging. Through graduation of the, corrections academy, she was there as a friend. And then, you know, I got divorced, and obviously I was out there dating. We still didn’t connect that way. And then one day, and I must tell this because we have an anniversary coming up, which is our birthday too.

David Hirsch: Oh wow.

Jamiel Owens: We connected.

David Hirsch: Don’t forget that. Yeah.

Jamiel Owens: Ah, right. Listen, listen. Why do you think we got married on her birthday? Right.

David Hirsch: She made it easy for you? Right.

Jamiel Owens: I actually proposed it. She went along with it. I was like, all right, there we go. We’re good. I remember the day I was working, you know, some side jobs on top of a full, time job that I had. And I swore I made just enough money to pay my bills, but I actually had about, like, $700 extra. And I couldn’t realize where this money came from. I’m looking around, like, what Bill is doing. Everything was paid up. So I called her up, and I was like, hey, I want to, you know, get some breakfast. Are you, you know, available? And she said, yeah. So I met her where we live at right now in Hatfield. We sat down at this local restaurant. We ate, and, she started to, like, really feel bad, and I asked her, I said, what’s wrong? And she’s like, I really feel bad that I’m, here eating breakfast with you when I didn’t even have money to feed my kids. My stepchildren, they just moved into a new place, and she spent all her money on the move, so they didn’t even have food at home.

David Hirsch: Wow.

Jamiel Owens: So it immediately clicked in my head. This was what the money was for. It wasn’t for me. It was for her. So I said, okay, well, let’s finish, and this is a true story. She’ll tell you. I said, let’s finish eating, and then I’m gonna take you food shopping. And I took her food shopping, and I filled up her refrigerator and all her cabinets, and that’s how we started dating. That’s the true story.

David Hirsch: That’s amazing. So let’s switch gears and talk about special needs, first on a personal basis and then, beyond. So I’m wondering, before Shane’s birth and diagnosis, if you had, any connection to the world of disability or special needs.

Jamiel Owens: So I have what is called medically av fistula on my right leg. I was born with this. It is basically the absence of the main vein that runs through my right leg to help circulate blood from my feet to my brain. They created a port inside of my leg using the smallest vein. So I am, by definition, disabled. But I never let that kind of take hold of what my capabilities were. That’s my only claim. That was my only claim. And to my ignorance. To my ignorance, I separated myself from the disability population because I was always taught never to let that hold me back. So I think, you know, today we embrace the disability community. Or we should be because they actually have that mentality. Yes, let me advocate and self advocate saying, yes, I represent that community, but I’m also not letting that hold me back from things that’s important.

David Hirsch: Thank you for sharing. So what is Shane’s diagnosis and how did it come about?

Jamiel Owens: Shane was diagnosed with autism. Actually back then in 2012, they were still using the term Asperger’s. So he is high functioning on the spectrum or a level one, autistic individual terminology that is used today in the medical field. Back then, I want to, I want to give a shout out to the medical field because back then, bedside manner and really understanding the diagnosis and really the pathways, the segues to introducing this to new parents about their child has drastically improved. And this is across the board, the compassion has drastically improved from when we received the information from Shane’s diagnosis to what families are receiving now and more of the resources. But he was diagnosed at the age of three and I’m glad that me and his mother, my wife at that time, actually took the time to read, really seek out a diagnosis.

David Hirsch: Yeah, well, thanks for sharing. I’m sort of curious to know, what type of fears did you have? As a young dad with Shane, age three, with that diagnosis, did you anticipate it based on certain behaviors or milestones that he wasn’t making?

Jamiel Owens: What was it the biggest fear was? The milestones, but it was the characteristics or, you know, the quirkiness of certain

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Jamiel Owens: things that he was doing. You know, being a first time father, you kind of go off of, seeing your friends having children and what they’re doing or you’re seeing on television to kind of see like, okay, well kids should be doing this. Even though that’s not a good measure of milestones, I knew by certain things Shane was exhibiting that there was something else going on with them. it wasn’t rocket science, but I say that respectfully because I don’t want it to make it seem like any type of diagnosis or characteristics, like downplay it. I’m not trying to do that. But at the same time, my parents. It is really important for you to look at your child and know, like, I wouldn’t say that’s quite quote unquote normal or that’s not consistent to what a child in this age group should be doing. So I really would advise parents to take heed of that, especially in the black and brown communities. You have to.

David Hirsch: Yeah, absolutely. Was there any meaningful advice you got early on that helped, put his diagnosis in perspective?

Jamiel Owens: Yes. Well, two pieces of advice. first thing is be a man about it. Be a true man. You know what that means is stripping yourself of pride, ego, and really understanding that this child is in your life to change a part of you that needs to be changed. But the most important thing is what does empathy mean to me? Shane has definitely pushed the envelope to me personally as to understanding how am I empathetic to people that I meet every single day? How can I be even more conscious of. Of this trials and tribulations that other people are going through that I may not know, or I may have assumed that they cut me off in traffic, and now I’m cursing them out, you know, like, is it really necessary? These are lessons that I’ve learned now. And looking back, was always there and building and building, but, you know, something just popped and it was sort of euphoric. I was able to actually catch on to it.

David Hirsch: Yeah. Very important. Thank you. Not to focus on the negative, but I’m wondering, what have been some of the biggest challenges over the last decade since the diagnosis?

Jamiel Owens: Some of the biggest challenges is really, dying to myself. What that means is understanding that this journey is no longer about me, is really about Shane and who he is as a young man and then as an autistic individual, separating the two. For me to learn who my son actually is, and really keeping the back of my mind of that. That term normal. Right. So we have to remember that we’re relying on imperfect people to supply other imperfect people information that they came up with. So what is normal? In essence, to keep that out of my mindset, because I believe none of us are normal. We’re all different, and we’re supposed to be that way. It’s just that some people’s characteristics show outward in a physical form. Other people’s are inward. Right. So it’s really to change my perspective of how I see this world and everybody that lives in it. Like, you know, we talked six years ago. We would not be speaking. There would be no interest in me speaking to you or being on this platform. Right. But Shane has ultimately changed my heart and my perspective, which gave me the opportunity to articulate my feelings and my thoughts and perspectives that, know, audiences love to hear or would like to, you know, interact with.

David Hirsch: Yeah, well, very well spoken. And I think what I heard you say is that, when somebody has a disability, like a physical disability, it’s usually noticeable. Right. Visually noticeable. But when somebody has an intellectual disability, you know, you can’t tell right away.

Jamiel Owens: Yeah.

David Hirsch: Or for some time. You know, I think it gives you a better understanding or like you were saying, appreciation or empathy for others because you don’t know what’s going on right underneath the surface.

Jamiel Owens: Yeah.

David Hirsch: And, I think that’s really important. You use the word normal and you know what’s normal. Right. so, what I’ve tried to do is train myself to use the word typical. Right. Which I think is not as descriptive, as normal, because really, what is normal? But when you talk about a child being typical versus atypical, you know, it seems to be, a little bit easier way to communicate because the opposite, of normal would be abnormal.

Jamiel Owens: Right.

David Hirsch: Which doesn’t sound right.

Jamiel Owens: It sounds very, very disrespectful. Like, what do you say? You could just say that name abnormal, and people will turn around, like, who. Who are you talking about?

David Hirsch: Right, right.

Tom Couch: We’ll be back with more of the conversation on the Special Fathers Network

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Tom Couch: Dad to Dad Podcast in just a few moments. But first, this quick message. Please help 21st Century Dads gather research on families raising children with special needs by having them complete the Special Fathers Network Early Intervention Parents survey. A link to the survey can be found in the show notes. As a token of our appreciation, each person, mom or dad, who completes the survey will receive a great dad coin. Thank you. Now back to the conversation.

David Hirsch: Any turning points, anything that’s been like, oh, this has been a big step, in the right direction, you know, for Shane or for your family, for that matter.

Jamiel Owens: One of the biggest turning points for me as a man and a father in a space and really navigating life with my son was, you know, finding my faith. You know, I urge you fathers, caretakers, and mothers, too, to really find what that will be for you. It helps you keep an accountability, that’s above this world. Right. And it helps you kind of navigate a lot of the different obstacles, but it makes you think differently outside the box. And that’s what we need to do with our loved ones. So I’ve been blessed to be able to be given a roadmap. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my. I have my issues, and I still have them today, and I still get a little upset or anxious just like anybody else. But I have an accountability that’s actually above the rest that I can go to that will calm me down. And this has set the stage not only for me, to kind of regulate a lot of the issues that I’m going through and trying to, you know, unpack, but also too, to be able to deal and connect with my family as well, especially Shane.

David Hirsch: Yeah, well, thanks for sharing. Very, very powerful. I’m thinking about supporting organizations and I’m wondering what organizations come to mind that Shane has benefited from directly or perhaps your family has benefited from.

Jamiel Owens: CHOP was definitely one of them. Before I started working here, Elwyn was another organization, that Shane actually has services through. You know what, I want to say this, if you don’t mind. I know this is a little off topic, but I want to give a shout out and all due respect to the direct support workers, those individuals who come into the homes who directly support loved ones like my son Shane, and even those with different, you know, abilities and, and different co occurring conditions shout out to you guys because they don’t have an organization. You know what? There’s organization is love. It’s their heart. And I can, you know, just count on a finger of how many of Shane’s therapists who are fresh out of school, who I seen out in the street, and they asked me about Shane and when I tell them, yeah, you know what, he’s a, he’s a junior in high school, straight A’s and B’s since middle school, he’s about to graduate, they look at me with tears in their eyes because they cared so much about my son. So that’s really it. But you know, we’re getting better, organizations are getting better.

David Hirsch: Let’s, talk about Ausomeness, which is, yes, A U, S, O M, E, N, E, S, S. Which took me, a, little while to figure out. Well, wait a second. Did I just misspell that or.

Jamiel Owens: I gotcha, but I got you. That’s, that’s what it was for. All right, so good.

David Hirsch: All right, so, when did that start? and what was or is your vision for Ausomeness Inc.

Jamiel Owens: Okay, so Ausomeness Incorporated was a prelude from the awesome show, which was a platform that I started back in 2014, a podcast platform for autism fathers to have a safe space to learn, educate and support each other. You know, fast forward. I wanted to be able to do what I was doing in the community, which was, come out to community events, speak as an autism father, present literature, write books, but be able to do it fundraising, you know, be able to gain financial support without seeming too shy, Steve. By saying, hey, give me your money. You don’t know where it’s going to, or any type of credibility. But also too, Ausomeness is designed to be an online platform. So what it is is, online platform that the community, meaning the world, can actually update and upload services and organizations that they personally know or in their area that supports the awesome community. This has gained a lot of visibility so far as we’re starting to build out the actual website. And actually next week I will be announcing the opening, or I should say the unveiling. I don’t know what I would say for a website of, Ausomeness incorporated and driving more traffic to it.

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Jamiel Owens: But with the mission statement where an autistic thrives and community is built, the overall goal is to have a fully staffed, individuals of the neurodiverse community. So being able to pay individuals from the neurodiverse community that has special skills in order to run this company, that is the ultimate five year goal.

David Hirsch: Yeah, well, we’ll have to check back years down the road and see how things have transpired. But yes, I did visit your website. I did listen to some of the previous podcast interviews, that you did. And, they’re really relevant. Right. I can see that this is a passion of yours. And, I know that, it’s a, I think what I read someplace, it’s a social enterprise that provides education, empowerment, engagement and support to families with autism.

Jamiel Owens: Yep.

David Hirsch: I love your heart. I love your mission.

Jamiel Owens: Thank you.

David Hirsch: So I’m thinking about advice, beyond perhaps what we’ve already discussed. And I’m thinking about, what advice would you offer a dad, maybe a dad who’s even close to the beginning of his journey, whether it’s autism or some other type of disability. What advice would you share?

Jamiel Owens: I’m gonna put it in the story because I think this will be the most impactful. I had a dad reach out to me one day. This is a dad I’ve been coaching. He lives in New York. And he said, jay, he said, you know, Jamil, my, my son is outside in the rain and he won’t come in from the rain. And I said, okay, what is he doing? He says, he’s literally laying on the ground and letting the rain hit him. He’s getting all soaked. And I said, well, why don’t you go out there and join? What? He said, why would I do that? And I said, for one second in his life, your son is in heaven. He is connecting in a way that you can never imagine. And he is having fun doing it. Why don’t you share that experience with him? And he said, okay. And I said, you gonna do it? And he said, okay. I said, call me back after you do it. So an hour two went by. He called me back and he said, Jay, thank you. He said, I went out there and I literally laid against my will, but I laid out on the ground and I connected with my son. And after we laid there for five minutes, I said, come on, let’s go inside. Let’s get something to eat. And he just got up and said, okay. He wanted to connect with you in a way that you never imagined. And I said, how did you feel? And he said, for that, that, that, that five minutes, nothing else in the world matter.

David Hirsch: Yeah. Very powerful. Thank you for sharing. I think there’s a lot of value, in storytelling like you just did, as opposed to just saying something, you know, trying to meet your kid where they’re at and try to get down to their level or be eye to eye. I mean, there’s a number of different ways you can phrase things, but that image that you created about this young boy laying on the ground in the rain, which is like, hey, come on, get up. Get out of the rain. and then suggesting to the dad who’s like, what are you smoking? Right?

Jamiel Owens: But, the awkward pause, the silence.

David Hirsch: Like, yeah, it’s very powerful. So, I’m sort of curious to know why have you agreed to be a mentor father as part of the Special Fathers Network?

Jamiel Owens: I never had it. One of the things that I’m learning in life is that you find more joy in serving others than what you do in serving yourself. So I’m telling you, I’ve had jobs and positions and real good positions where it was all about self. It was self centered and I was more stressed and I was less motivated. This job right now, living in my purpose and my passion, I am more, more motivated. And the reason why is because I get up every day looking to serve anybody else but myself.

David Hirsch: Yeah, very powerful. We’re thrilled to have you as part of the network. Is there anything else you’d like to say before we wrap up?

Jamiel Owens: First off, I want to acknowledge you and everything that you’ve been doing in this particular space for so long. It is always great to finally meet individuals who are doing the work per se versus getting on television and saying, yeah, you know, I’ve been a part of this and been it. No, you’re constantly doing the work and you have been for so long. So I definitely want to give you your flowers, acknowledge you and respect you on that. And, you know, I wish nothing but blessings for anybody listening for this. And, and one important thing is I love you. You don’t know me. We may not ever meet in this lifetime, but I feel as though you need to hear this from another human that probably hated just as many people as you have hated in this world or been hurt. I love you and I mean that wholeheartedly. And I love your child and I love your family and I love

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Jamiel Owens: anything about you. you know, we are all one, and I hope that this touches someone’s ear and their heart to kind of be a better person or at least be inquisitive on who is Jamil Owens. You know, let me find out more about this guy. So, definitely. I love you and I want nothing for the best of you. That’s for anybody listening to this.

David Hirsch: Yeah. Well, thank you. Very kind. Let’s give a special shout out to SarahKlauski@beme.AI. Sarah was featured in episode number 280 of the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast for helping connect us.

Jamiel Owens: Yes. Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. Another one I just met and we just connected and she’s just an amazing, amazing person. Amazing person who has a passion and a purpose and a mission. And she’s doing it. So, yes.

David Hirsch: Yep. it’s just amazing some of the people you meet along the journey and, very grateful for Sarah’s, involvement. If somebody wants to learn more about Ausomeness Incorporated or to contact you, what’s the best way to do? Do so.

Jamiel Owens: So I am on social media. let’s just talk about the spelling of it. So it’s A U S O M E N E S S I N C one word together. For Instagram you can separate Ausomeness and incorporate it for Facebook. also too, you can reach out to me at Ausomeness, Inc. So A U S O M E N E S S Inc @ gmail.com. Or you can direct message me on any one of those platforms. I go and because I’m always looking to, help fathers and families contact me my work cell. So 445-247-2071. If there’s an autism father out there that just looking for connection, ear to listen to maybe a family, a husband and wife that just want to, like, not split up. Please call me. Let me talk to you. There’s no cost for this. I’m doing this out the goodness of my heart, but I want to be able to be a resource to you.

David Hirsch: Yeah, I’ll be sure to include that information in the show notes. It’ll make it as easy as possible for somebody to follow up with you. Jamiel. Thank you for your time and many insights. As a reminder, Jamiel is just one of the dads who’s part of the Special Family Fathers Network mentoring program for fathers raising a child with special needs. If you’d like to be a mentor father or are seeking advice from a mentor father with a similar situation to your own, Please go to 21stcenturydads.org thank you for listening to the latest episode of the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast. I hope you enjoyed the conversation as much as I did. As you probably know, the 21st Century Dads foundation is a 501c3 not profit organization, which means we need your help to keep our content free to all concerned. Would you please consider making a tax- actable contribution? I would really appreciate your support Jamiel. Thanks again.

Jamiel Owens: Thank you. I appreciate it.

Tom Couch: And thank you for listening to the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast. The Special Fathers Network is a dad to dad mentoring program for fathers raising children with special needs. Through our personalized matching process, new fathers with special needs children match up with mentor fathers in a similar situation. It’s a great way for dads to support other dads. To find out more, go to 21stCenturydads.org.

David Hirsch: And if you’re a dad looking for help or would like to offer help, we would be honored to have you join our closed Facebook group. Please go to facebook.com groups and search dad to dad. Lastly, we’re always looking to share interesting stories. If you’d like to share your story or know of a compelling story, please send an email to david@21stCenturyDads.org.

David Hirsch: The Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast was produced by me, Tom Couch. Thanks again to Amgen. Committed to unlocking the potential of biology for patients suffering from serious illnesses by discovering, developing, manufacturing and delivering innovative human therapeutics. Discover more about Amgen’s mission at Amgen.com.

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